Ask the Death Note characters advice
by Ryuks-Poizun-Apples
Summary: Here you can ask advice from the Death Note characters, who I may or may not have kidnapped. Rated T for some language and some T rated subjects. Just thinking in advance! Ask and they shall answer... WARNING: This is for fun, some advice may suck :D
1. Ask some advice!

**For everyone that's reading this, GREETINGS! It's Lia or Poizun Apples or just Poizun. Just as the title says, you can ask any of the Death Note characters for advice! Simply state who you are asking the advice from-even though I'm planning on having all the characters give their input on each advice question-and then state what advice you need! Very simple right Matt?**

**Matt:...Beep......Boop.....Boop**

**L?**

**L:Nom....Nom...**

**Mello?**

**Mello:Chomp............Chomp.**

**Light?**

**Light:I (think(tee hee)) am hot.**

**Near.**

**Near:........*playing with toys***

**Misa....**

**Misa: Light-kun, Light-kun, Light-kun.**

**Beyond!**

**Beyond: Mwhahahaha. Ha ha. Hyuk Hyuk. *practicing evil laugh***

**Ryuk!?!**

**Ryuk: Apple. Apple? Apple! Apple!?! APPLE!?!?!**

**Where you guys even listening to me?!**

**All: What?**

**That's it! I _was _going to ask you guys politely to do the advice column but now you must do it! **

**All: What?**

**People-who-are-about-to-get-their-butts-kicked-by-Poizun-even-though-most-of-them-are-her-friends-say-what.**

**All: What?**

**Exactly. ^^**

* * *

**This is my first fanfic so please review so I can get started on the advice column! Please and thank you! :)**

**Me without reviews is like Mello without chocolate! The world will end! **

**~Poizun~**


	2. Apple thiefs, Ice cream, and much more

***Bursts into room*** Hey guys! We got some advice to answer!

**Mello: What if we suck at giving advice and everyone hates us? **

Then everyone hates us! But we are going to try our best and help people in need! *Super hero music in backround*

**Light: Where the crap did that come from? **

I don't know. Now lets answer some advice!

**Here's one. **_Kira's Wife Felicia_ **asks:**

_i have a friend whose really a devoted christian that kept harping at me  
becuz i have a girlfriend...wat should i do about this?_

**Ryuk: Well...The lord is happy when your happy. If your friend respects the lord and you then she will accept that you have a girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with having a girlfriend and there is nothing about it in the bible that forbids it. Tell your friend that your happiness matters.**

**Light:*stares with jaw open* Wow Ryuk....that was deep. Since when do you believe in God? **

**Ryuk: I don't. I just read that off of some site....**

Okay then.....Next question!

_Sakuragawa _**asks:**

_I can't seem to decide between CHOCOLATE and VANILLA flavoured icecream?  
Whatever should I do?!_

**Matt: If you want to, you can use my technique for choosing. I don't like making decisions so I simply do Eenee-Menee-Minee-Mo and let the Eenee-Menee-Minee-Mo gods choose for me.**

**Light: So you believe in Eenee-Menee-Minee-Mo gods but you don't believe in Kira being a god?**

**L: Now why do you feel strongly for Kira Light? Maybe because you _are_ Kira!?!**

**Light: Shut up L!**

Guys!! Back to the advice question!

**L: *sticks out tongue* Anyway, why choose when you can have chocolate and vanilla swirled together! ^.^**

**Misa: You could do that L-kun, but, since we all know that chocolate ice cream is better, I say Sakuragawa should pick chocolate!**

**Near: That is more like an opinion Misa. Vanilla ice cream is good too.**

**Misa: Chocolate _is_ better.**

**Near: _Is _no. Vanilla is much better and it was the first original ice cream flavor!**

***After 5 minutes of a violent fight***

*Head tilted* Wow. I never knew Misa's leg could bend like that.

**Ryuk: Another question!**

**Here's someone in need of help! **_Fullyfledgedkirasupporter _**asks:**

_Random kid keeps stealing my apple. I love apples. How do I get him to  
stop?(without killing him...unless you want to let me borrow your death note,  
Light...I would use it only to kill said apple theif...if you haven't figured  
it out yet, I know L's name...)_

**Light: YOU DO!?! WHAT IS IT-- I mean Kira is evil and only Kira has a Death No-- Can kill people. *looks around nervously* How dare you accuse me of having such a note book of death. *Slips phone number to Fullyfledgedkirasupporter***

**Near: Ignore him. We don't know why he keeps acting as if he isn't Kira. We all know he is. So an apple theif you say? Well what I would do is confront him and politely ask him to stop.**

**Mello: Or you could just bite his hands off and threaten to sic the Mafia on his a**.**

**L: Mello, that is not the appropriate way to handle this. You should be polite like Near said.**

**Mello: Fine. Politley bite their hands off and threaten to sic the Mafia on his a**.**

**Beyond: I like where your going with this Mello, but instead you should use a chainsaw and cut his arms off and...**

**Ryuk: If you got apple thief problems then worry no longer! Use Ryuk's Apple-Thief-Be-Gone! Just one squirt of this magical spray and the person who touches this apple, other than you, shall disintegrate into a million pieces! And you can have this wonderful product by paying two payments of $15.99 and a pound of apples! Just call 918-848-Ryuk today! **

Ryuk! No avertising! *whispers* I get 40% of the profits.

_GalaxyTheElementGirl _writes:

_Well, here's my first question for you; I need a cosplay costume!! Should I get a Matt or Mello costume?? Directed to Matt & Mello  
mainly, but could use the other's opinions.  
Have fun! Here's some chocolate for Mello and smokes for Matt._

**Matt: YAY! *Takes smokes* Ahh! Much better!**

**Mello: YAY!! *Takes chocolate* Chomp.....Chomp.**

**Matt: Cosplay costume you say? Well I'm flattered! ^^ **

**Mello: Hmm... Well I'm not sure about getting a Mello costume. Only a very few people can pull of leather. But who knows. You maybe one of those people. *wink***

**Matt: Stop flirting Mello. His date stood him up last night so he's looking for some arm candy.**

**Mello: Am not! Unless GalaxyTheElementGirl _feels_ like being arm candy.**

**Matt: *face palms* Were way of track. A Matt costume? Complete with goggles, boots, and awesome looking vest. Go for it! ^^**

**Beyond: I think a Mello costume would be good for you. It's as if the Mello costumes were meant for girls! *breaks out laughing***

**L: Let's see here.....go for the Matt costume. Works for anyone and the goggles are awesome!**

**Ryuk: Mello. I like making fun of him and him not doing anything to me because I'm a shinigami and he can't touch me. ^^**

**Misa: Mello!**

**Near: Matt.**

**Light: Mello. I really don't know why.**

Matt! Now let's tally up the results! Mello: 5 Matt: 4 Well GalaxyTheElementGirl, It seems that your cosplaying as Mello! Hope you Have fun and thanks for congratulating me!

Now Beyond, would you please do the honor?

**Beyond: Certainly. This advice column sucks and if _any_ of you knew better then you would stop reading now!**

Not what I meant! And that was hurtful!

**Beyond: I'm Beyond! What do you expect?**

True. Near?

**Near: Sure. Thanks for the reviews and see you next chapter! **

Thank you!

**

* * *

Me without reviews is like Mello without chocolate! The world ends!**

**~L!a =^)**


	3. Bottle Blondes and Hair!

**Beyond: Welcome people of Earth. I am Beyond and I will be hosting for Poizun since she is currently bust at the moment. Don't worry for I haven't killed her......yet. So now, let the suckishness begin!**

_GalaxyTheElementGirl _**asks:**

_And yet again, hi to all of you!! Presents are for last, so lets get on with  
the next question! So now that I'm going as Mello, should I dye my hair or get  
a wig?? I'm a natural redhead if you need to know. And now...present time and  
responses to what you said ^^  
__Matt-Gift card to Best Buy so you can buy more games and smokes...and some  
nicotine patches if the need arises. Since I'm going as Mello this time, I'll  
go as you the next!!_

_Mello- Chocolate, of course! Oh and a ticket for a one weekend getaway for  
two to a chocolate island. And, um, I should feel offended, but I guess I feel  
flattered. If it's for you, I guess I could be arm candy... *Blush and Wink  
back at you*  
And yes, I think I could pull off leather._

_L- Strawberry Cheesecake for you!! And yes, I agree. Goggles are awesome._

_Light- A cover for your "Death Note"!! (Yes, I know you're Kira! Don't worry, I  
won't tell anyone... as long as you dump that Takada sl**!) Oh and a bag of  
potato chips so you can continue to eat chips dramatically._

_Near- Well, got a whole lot of stuff for you. Transformers kit, legos, and a  
brand new 10 piece puzzle!! And one more thing; *pecks on the cheek and runs  
for her life*_

_Misa-Misa- Hi Misa~chan!! Well, here's a brand new makeup kit for you... and  
here, a leash so you can keep someone close to you *coughcoughLightcough*._

_BB- BEYOND!! How are you, my most delightfull strawberry addict? Here's the  
key to a strawberry jam factory. And you get a hug!!_

_Ryuk- You get an apple tree. High five, mon ami!_

**All: Hi!**

**Mello: You could dye your hair, if you want, but then it would take a while for the dye to get out and then it will be hard to Matt.**

**Matt: I agree. Unless you feel like being Mello for a while. **

**Beyond: I would hate to go around looking like Mello for even a day! **

**L: If you dye it though it looks more realistic.**

**Misa: Dying it would be a good idea! ^^**

**Beyond: Fine. Dye it. **

**~Presents~**

**Matt: I practically live at Best Buy! Forget the F**(sensored. IDK why.)** nicotine patches! I'm in heaven.**

**Mello: Chocolate! You know me well. ^^ Hey L, want to go to Chocolate Island with me?**

**L: *Eyes twinkle* Yes!**

**Near and Matt: Suck up....**

**Mello: Pull off leather and you're 100% me. **

**L: Cheesecake and Chocolate Island! Double yay! **

**Light: I've been needing a cover for my "notebook". *wink* And I like eating chips dramatically. It makes me look awesome! **

**Near: *stunned by the sudden peck on the cheek***

**Misa: Misa-Misa says hi! Make-up to add to my beautifulness. *grabs leash* Oh, Liiiigggghhhtttt!**

**Beyond: OMG! OMG! You sound like Misa. I'm fine. Just killed a guy for looking at me funny today. His time was coming anyway. Strawberry Jam! Now there's a 1% chance that I won't kill you in the near future. **

**Ryuk: APPLES!!!! *High fives* Habla espanol? Como estas? **

_The One Called Demetra _**asks:**

_"I have recently discovered that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with  
some bottle-blonde hoebag. Which would be the best way going about murdering  
him and especially her? Light? Beyond?"_

_PS: KIRA PWNS"_

_...yeah, not really :P But I figure it'd make a fun question._

_~D_

**Beyond: Now here's someone who's got the right idea on how to handle things! Even though it's not true, I'll answer anyway. How I would go about killing said bottle-blonde hoebag is by sending her a text (or whatever) signed by your boyfriend saying to meet him at a hotel or dark alley and once the hoebag arrives, hit her over the head with a bat and, slowly, cut out her kidney and shove it down her throat. Now for the boyfriend, have him arrive at your house one night when no ones around. You be dressed in a tight dress and once he arrives, start making out and when he's not looking, stab him in the back. (Literally) **

**Light:Uh.....very descriptive Beyond. **

**Beyond: Thanks.**

**Light: Well I would have the bottle-blonde and the boyfriend jump off the Empire State Building, using my "note book" and die.**

**Beyond: That's the wussy way. Next!**

_Fullyfledgedkirasupporter _**asks:**

_Heehee. No more apple theif. And if kira is possibly standing in the room,  
L's real name is L Lawliet, not accusing anyone, just saying. And if you guys  
want to know who's advice worked the best, it was Mello's polite way of  
threatening to bite off his hands. Okay, this question of advice is  
specifically for Mello. How do you stay so skinny? Message to Matt: unless  
you're my cousin, I would file for identity theft. He keeps saying he's you._

**Mello: Why thank you! ^^ And you know how I wail on Near--**

**Near: How could they not?!**

**Mello: Do not interrupt me! I know your weakness! Neary Deary or, my favorite, Nancy Near!!**

**Near: 0_o**

**Mello: That's what I thought! Anyway, wailing on Near all the time seems to keep me in good shape. Plus Jenny Craig's chocolate fudge tastes good too! ^^**

**Matt: Really?! That's the 56th person this week! **

**Light: *walks into room* What did I miss?**

_Kira's Wife Felicia _**asks:**

_Ok thanks Ryuk ^_^_

_another thing: im working hard in History yet i have a D+ still x_x i really  
wanna get to disney world for good grades but i dont kno how im gonna get the  
D made up? (HELP ME LIGHT! OR ILL TELL L YOU'RE KIRA!)_

_to all the DN cast: do u think i resemble L from the following:_

_i sit with my knees close to me,  
i eat ALOT of sweets (no really i do, im surprised im not diabetic yet, let  
alone have my mom lock the sugar away)  
i barely sleep (-_- unless its a school night then i have no choice but to  
sleep)_

_-Here comes the Randomness-_

_Matty:  
Do You like waffles?  
Wat would u do if u saw Mello-Yellow with Button eyes?  
can i have a hug?_

_BB:  
can i have a kiss on the fore head?_

_L:  
wat is your fav. color *gets shot* ok im stil ali-*gets stabbed by sephiroth*_

**Ryuk: No prob.**

**L: You could try studing harder or, if your desperate, go to that Sylvan-thing-a-ma-jig-place.**

**Mello: Sylvan sucks on ice.**

**Ryuk: I went to Disney just last week and scared the crap out of Mickey and Minnie! xD**

**Misa: What does that have to do with anything Ryuk?**

**Ryuk: I don't know. But I just felt like sharing. ^^**

**Light: If wanted, I could tutor you KirasWifeFelicia. That's about all I can think of doing that might help.**

**All except for L: All you need is black hair styled like his and you could pass for him.**

**L: I feel insulted! I'm not that easy to pass for. **

**Light: Look at me! I'm L! I suspect everyone for everything! I eat sweets! I suspect everyone of being Kira! I don't need sleep! I sit weird!**

**Matt: OMG! Who's the real L!?! **

**All except for L: *Breaks out laughing***

**~Randomness~**

**Matt: Waffles are good, but have you had waffle tacos? Yum! I would stare for a good 20 minutes and then finally ask, "Of all the other retarded things you could do, why?". Sure! *Hugs***

**Beyond: Just as long as you don't have H1N1 Influenza 2. *kisses on forehead***

**L: I would have to say white because it's a neutral color. Oh holy cheesecake! Is she okay? **

**Misa: *pokes her with stick* I saw her twitch! **

**Light: She's fine.....**

_Sofie _**asks:**

_I am completely in love with L! But I'm not so sure he would be interested in  
me, since I'm no surpergenius. Still I'm pretty sm$rt, so maybe I would have a  
chance. In case L doesn't want to relate his favourite type of women/man to I  
have another question for all of you! Are you still a virgin? Feel free to not  
answer, but if you do answer,please be truthful!_

Sofia

**L: Well, it would all depend on if: 1. Your the same age as me. 2. If I don't suspect you of being Kira. 3. If your a good baker. 4. If you don't mind my strange tactics. 5. And if you have good _common _knowledge. I once met this girl who had a hard time opening a revalving door.... **

**Near: I'm still a virgin.**

**L: Virgin.**

**Ryuk: A what?!**

**Light: I'm not a virgin.**

**Misa: Not a virgin. ^^**

**Mello: I'm still a virg. Hard to believe huh?**

**Matt: Virgin.**

**Beyond: I've raped a few girls, so I'm not a virgin.**

**Beyond: *Reads from script* Well thanks for joining us for this wonderful-- Wonderful?! Who wrote this crap?! **

**Please _don't _join us for another segment of "Ask the Death Note Characters Advice!"**

**L: Now Poizun wouldn't want you to say that.**

**Beyond: Shut up!**

**

* * *

**

I am not actually Poizun, but her wonderful friend Terra! She's busy and told me to update for her so she won't keep her fans waiting. I'm going to be Beyond for Halloween so I decided to make Beyond the host! Don't blame Poizun for some of the suckish advice, that is my doing.

Terra

~Apoligies for things I hope I don't get sued for~

I apoligize for knocking Sylvan.

I apoligize for knocking people with common knowledge issues.

I apoligize for using H1N1 Influenza 2 for their are many people who actually have it. (Feel better everyone!)

I apoligize for making fun of L in some parts. I like L too but sometimes it's fun to make fun of the people you like. ^^

As Poizun would say: "Meh without reviews is like Mello without chocolate. The world will end!"


	4. Wings and Halloween Costumes

**Hello, I just wanted to clear a few things up for I was unable to post for the last chapter. When my friend Terra put something about Light being Kira, or etc., she generally put it in parathensis. This means that, that was directed to Light only, so the other characters didn't actually hear those parts. Maybe those parts were e-mailed to Light or texted or something like that. (IDK) Please forgive Terra if maybe some of the things she said wasn't actually good advice or funny. She's actually quite witty and funny but writing has never been her thing. With that being said, let's get on with the advice! **_

* * *

__Pandaabear23 _**asks:**

_MATTY! LOVE YOU!...Anyway i dont know what i should be for Halloween a __death  
angel or red riding hood and by the way i look good in red *winks at Matt* so  
what should I choose?_

**Matt: Uh, Love you too! *Wink* Fangirls..... Anyway, Death Angel!**

**Beyond: Hmmm. Most definatly Red Riding Hood. The redness makes me think of blood.**

**L: I agree with Beyond on this.**

**Near: And I agree with L.**

**Mello: And you call me a suck up..... Uh....Death Angel.**

**Misa: Misa-kun chooses Red Riding Hood!**

**Light: Death Angel.**

**Ryuk: Death Angel.**

Red Riding Hood! Now lets tally up the results shall we? Death Angel: 4/Red Riding Hood: 5. Red Riding Hood it is! Have mucho-mucho fun! ^^

**Next!!!!**

_() _**asks: **

_Okay! So...my best friend told me that it was unoriginal to give a character  
in my short story English wings. But I only gave her wings because being  
able to fly would be seriously useful to her! And, you know, it's cool. So,  
what should I say to this great friend of mine?  
Now, I'd better slowly back away before I have an insane fangirl attack._

**Ryuk: Wings _are_ cool! Hence mine. *Points at wings***

**L: I would tell this 'great friend' that wings aren't very common now these days in short stories. If that doesn't get her to lay off the coolness of the wings then kindly tell her that it's your story not hers.**

**Mello: What's up with you and the kindness crap?! **

**Matt: Not being attacked by a fangirl would be nice. Thank you. Next.**

_The One Called Demetra _**asks**

_It just occured to me that everybody here except Near and Ryuk are dead at the end  
of the series, all of them as a direct result of Kira. So...how does everybody  
feel about their deaths? What's Mu like? Is there anything that I should  
expect from death?_

_Matt, why the f*ck are you so popular? It can't just be the goggles and the  
stupid clothes. If it is, I need to GET me some of those. Do you have any  
other advice for ascending to ridiculously undeserved popularity?_

_Beyond, your popularity is similarly undeserved due to the extremely sh*tty  
quality of your spinoff novel, but I'm sure if the novel had been written well  
you'd be a great character. I quite enjoyed that description, although I  
personally had more creative methods in mind, I like the idea of the  
kidney-stealing not being fatal so I can continue with various other methods  
later. It's always nice to have feedback from fellow enthusiasts. We should  
start a club. Would any of the Kiras in the room be interested in joining?_

_Misa, according to this Death Note entry, you commit suicide on February 14th, 2011 No hard feelings or anything, I just thought it'd be darkly  
romantic that way. In the interest of research, what was that like?_

_Mello, do you ever feel jilted that the fandom only thinks of you as the  
'badass chocolate eating dude with the girly hair'? _

**L: My death caused (almost) every fan to hate Light, so I don't complain. Well, in heaven they have a mountain of sweets so I'm glad! ^^**

**Light: Mu sucks. It's just like utter darkness and everything's like dust. My death was also suckish. D(censored) Ryuk..... **

**Matt: It was epic! A sad way to die? Yes, but now I have all these fans!**

**Mello: I knew it was coming. I knew Takada had that freakin slip of Death Note hidden. Well actually that's probably because I skipped **

**to the end of the series buts still.......**

**Beyond: I die in a jail cell. What do you freakin think?**

Gosh Beyond. Don't be so rude!

**Matt: Cause I'm awesome like that. Some advice I can give is, if your ever shot down by someones guards, then dramatically slump down and die epically. **

**Beyond: Nah. I work solo. **

**Misa: Romantically dark?! Are you goth or something? Anyway, It was real depressing. I figured that a life without Light isn't life at all. Thus the suicide.**

**Mello: As long as there's "badass chocolate eating dude" in there then I'm fine. Next!**

_Banished Fire Princess Felicia_ **asks:**

_Surprisingly I'm still alive after getting shot and stabbed so I'm gonna ask  
more questions:_

_Alright midterms came: instead of history going down (C- now yay!) it's now  
english..._

_Ok do you think I could pass off as Matt?_

_I wear striped clothing (at times)  
I LOVE video games_

_~randomness~_

_BB: The only thing I have, is alergies, I'm alergic to cats yet i still own  
them...and thank you! ^+^_

_Matt: Do you like Pancakes?  
would you like to cuddle my kitty? *holds up Terry*_

_L: Do you like Chihuahuas?_

**All: Take up smoking, become completely anti-social, and get third place in something. Then we might give you a call.**

**Beyond: Welcome.**

**Matt: Yes, yes I do. Sure. *cuddles***

**L: No. They are annoying yappy dogs and they keep me from my work. Doesn't mean I hate pets though.**

**Ryuk: Next!**

_Galaxy The Element Girl **asks:**_

_Okay, hi again!! Well, since I'm just itching to do so, I shall now also ask  
questions. And well, another  
advice-now-question-as-well time~  
I like a guy who likes the girl that sits next to me, but that girl likes a  
guy that likes my BFF who likes a guy that definitely likes me!! What should I  
do... this one goes to all of you. But since I'm being a bit of a fan girl  
today... MELLO! You answer first *insert cute smile here*  
And once again; THIS IS PRESENT & QUESTION TIME!!_

_Mello- So, I'm dying my hair blonde. But seriously, how do you pull off;  
dancing in a tutu, singing I'm a barbie girl,and tapdancing and still manage  
to look smokin-hot? *Wink* Oh, and you get a hug. AND a key to the Hershey  
factory. (I tried leather on yesterday..for some miracle, I went well with  
it!! ;)]_

_Matt-MAIL JEEVAS YOU THROW OUT THOSE NICOTINE PATCHES AND I SWEAR I SHALL  
FIND WHERE YOU LIVE AND KILL YOU. Capiche? ^^ and you get a gift card to go to  
Hot Topic. Oh, and Matty? Where did you get the goggles?_

_L- Aww you're so spoiled! Here's a Light plushie... you like him. Don't deny  
it, I saw it in episode 25.. *pats on the head*_

_Light- Have you dumped Takada? (If you have, then I won't need to sell out  
these, right?? *shows pictures of Light death note-ing people.* And I'm sorry  
to say that 5/6 of my friends laughed at that scene.) Oh, and sorry for Misa.  
(Psstt... sorry, but I'm not interested in you. You're a great deth note-ing  
guy, but I've got my eyes on someone else already.  
*CoughCoughMELLOCoughCough*_

_Near- *pokes* Are you still alive? Well, here's a gift card to Toys R Us.  
God, I'm such a hypocrite..I detest gift cards yet I give them out every five  
minutes. Oh, and Near? *kiss on the lips and runs off to Mars*_

_Misa- Hahaha Misa!! You show him who's boss!_

_BB_ I cordially apologize for remotely resembling Misa. I was on a sugar high  
and did not know what the hell I was doing. And seriously? Have you EVER  
thought that their time was up because they were meeting YOU? Want this jam??  
I bought it but I decided to give it to you._

_Ryuk- Haha I'm glad you like it. Si,si hablo español. Soi Mexicana! Y estoy  
muy mal, tengo laringitis y no puedo hablar. T.T  
Translation- Yes, I do speak spanish. I'm Mexican! And I'm very bad, I have  
laringitis and I can't talk. *sob*_

_For this last question, I request that you get MELLO and NEAR out of the room  
for all our safety and not to get shot by the Mafia Leader!  
Are they out yet?? If they are, then please tell me one last piece of advice:  
I'm hopelessly in love with Mello, but I can't get Near out of my_

_And to everyone~ Drunn... A hundred dollars!_

**Mello: Wow. Well what I would do is maybe drop some hints to this "guy" that you like him. If he doesn't seem to get the hints then you'll probably have to settle with this other guy who likes you.**

**Matt:.......*playing DS***

Matt!!!! Put down that DS or so help me!

**Matt: Ahh! Ok! Uh....what Mello said. *goes back to playing DS***

-_-

**L: Or you could set up this guy who likes you with your friend that likes him. Sure you may be lonely but your friends happiness will be spared.**

**Ryuk: Pass. I don't know much about "love".**

**Misa: Misa-Misa says you should date the guy you like!**

**Beyond: Love!?! Ugh...makes me sick....**

**Near: *Sign where he was currently sitting* It reads: -Went to lunch. Be back in five-**

Lunch?! Since when did we get a lunch break? Oh well. Light?

**Light: Just go with the flow and see if in the future this guy you like winds up liking you.**

**Mello: Cause I brought sexy back. If I can bring sexy back then I can pull that off. *hugs* Hershey's! How did you know? *wink* (Good for you!) **

**Matt: 0__0 Okay, okay! No throw away nicotine patches. Thanks! And got them custom made in Japan. **

**L: Uh....okay, thanks. *starts stabbing Light plushie***

**Light: Yes I have. And being handcuffed to Misa wasn't _all_ that bad. It's the fact that she tied me to a chair and had me watch romance movies that was torture.**

**Near: Thanks. Oh and-- *cut off by kiss* *stares at wall for rest of day***

**Misa: Oh you know I will. *wink***

**Beyond: Hmmm. I've never thought of it _that _way before. Sure, why waste a perfectly good jar of jam!?**

**Ryuk: I'll talk in english today for I feel too lazy to translate. Us shinigami are fluent in all languages for we never know where exactly our Death Notes may land. Hope you feel mucho better.**

**All except Near and Mello: *push Near and Mello out of the room* Their gone.**

**Matt: Uh...what attracts you to Near?**

**L: Well it all depends on who you _really _love. Does Near make you smile when you think of him? Or does Mello? **

**Light: What about this "guy" you were talking about earlier? Does he inter fere with the love of Near or Mello?**

**Misa: What she needs is "girl" advice guys! Think about it. Mello likes living on the edge and he's pretty moody at times. On the other hand, Near is unemotional and could care less. Which one sounds more appealing to you? **

**All still except for Near and Mello: Thanks! ^^**

**L: Join us next time for another chapte of "Ask the Death Note Characters Advice"! I don't get paid enough for this. **

Uh.... you don't get paid at all.

**L: What?!**

* * *

Thanks for reviewing and see you all next chapter! :)

Me without reviews is like Mello without chocolate! The world will end!

~Lia


	5. Love advice and A crossover

Advice time everyone!!

**All: Yay....**

A little more motivation!

**All: Yay.**

I don't hear motivation!

**Mello: What's the f*ckin matter with you?! It's about 2:00am and you making us do this now?!**

Well first off Mello, I've drank about 6 cans of Mtn. Dew so I'm quite hyper. And were doing this at 1:55am because the early bird catches the worm!

**Mello: I hate you.**

Aww! You're one of my best friends too! But right now we must answer advice!

**All: Oh joy....**

_Galaxy The Element Girl _**asks:**

_.. hi..*in a VERY bad mood* I'll just forget about that guy. He's  
such a d*mn flirting b*stard.. (HEY LIGHT!! Mind lending me your death note?)  
*.* I hate that f* guy! Need advice; How to get a guy that likes you off your  
tail? When you hate that guy with every fiber of your being?  
*Whispers to everyone but Mello and Near* I love Mello, he makes my heart  
stop and makes me giddy when I think of him, but I also like Near, but to a  
much lesser extent. And forget about that guy, I hate him.  
Present time.  
Mello- Haha I guess that you really DID bring sexy back. Got a question for  
you; hypothetically speaking, if you were ever in a relationship with a guy,  
would you be seme or uke? Don't kill me. I'm depressed enough as it is. *tries  
to get courage to kiss him but fails miserably, instead opting to leave  
pouting*_

_Matt-Get off that DS,Matt. *takes DS and shoots it* I'm in a very bad mood to  
be ignored. But just because I really like you as a friend, I shall give you a  
new DS._

_L-It might have worked, but she's already with another guy. And she hates his  
guts. Here's some cake._

_Light- No that guy does not interfer with my love for Mello AT ALL. I hate  
that guy. I wish he was just sakujo'd to hell. Oh, btw, where's Mikami? Need  
to talk to him. You get potato chips._

_Misa- Thank you for your support. And I guess I choose Mello, though I fear  
he would be abusive. And yes, I intend Mello to hear that. You get another  
lolita dress, just because I think you look cute in those._

_Ryuk- You shouldn't, or else you'd die. I don't want you to die. Hey, want to  
go with me tomorrow to go on a raid for apples?_

_Beyond- I didn't really expect you to know about love, though you deserve  
someone to love you. I would, but I guess by the last question I gave you guys  
that I'm not in a position to start liking you. *walks off moodily after  
giving BB a another bottle of Jam*_

_Near- Hi Near. Here's some random Transformer toys my brother bought but  
never used. *still very depressed and instead opts to walk off instead of  
giving him a hug.*  
I think that's all of you. Hey, if you don't mind, can any of you spare a  
hug? I'm just really depressed and acting emo. *suddenly starts crying*  
Bye bye. Until next time._

**Light: (No. Don't mind at all.)**

**Beyond: Kill him.**

**Near: Tell him your just not interested.**

**Light: See Beyond's answer.**

**Mello: Call the Mafia on his ass.**

**L: Get a restraining order put on him, so he has to be within 20 feet away from you at all times.**

**Misa: I don't know. Why do you hate him with every fiber of your being? Annoying?**

**Matt: See Mello's answer.**

**Ryuk: Use the Death Note. **

Wow. Matt, Light. A little more creative next time?

**Mello: Uh....Do I have to answer?**

YES!!

**Mello: Ugh. Uh......the seme I guess?**

**Matt: Okay, first off, CRAP!! I didn't even save the game! And second of all, uh....thanks I think?**

**L: Worth a shoot a guess. *eats cake***

**Light: I see. *starts eating potato chips dramatically* I'm not really sure at the moment.**

**Misa: No problem! ^^ I love lolita dresses!**

See! Misa's motivated!

**Matt: Because she has ADHD!**

True....

**Ryuk: I would perfer not to die either. I mean what the heck was Rem thinking? Sure! **

**Beyond: I might find the person I "love" in the future maybe. *takes jam***

**Near: More for me. **

**All: Of course. *hugs* **

May I ask why the depression and emoness?

**Mello: Next.**

_xElementFivex _**asks:**

_*jumps up and down*  
I have a question! Or ten!_

_Matt- When did you even first show up? And why didn't you show up earlier in  
the series and let everyone bask in the glow of your AWESOMENESS longer?_

_Mello- Where do you get your clothes? Take me with you next time._

_L- *stares...drools in happiness* Oh um sorry... question... uh *can't stop  
staring at L's lovely face* never mind..._

_Light- ... you're the reason all the good characters died. HATE._

_Near and Beyond- Please don't kill me. *runs away*_

She's pretty motivated too!

**Light: Just shut the heck up.**

**Matt: In an episode. But it was just a brief flash of me. Because the writers felt like making me be in like one episode and die. Trust me, if I could have been in more episodes, I would have.**

**Mello: Some leather emporium place in Japan. Okay, but no photos.**

**L: Uh....is she ok? Um....Okay. Keep thinking of a question then come back to me.**

**Light: I get that a lot.**

**Near: Kill you?! I understand Beyond but why me?**

**Beyond: I look at it more as a compliment.**

**Ryuk: Next!**

_Hikari Yagami543 _**asks:**

_I am planning to make a Death note crossover fanfic but I can't choose  
between When They Cry- Higuraghi or Mermaid Melody. Which one should I choose?_

**L: Personally, I like When They Cry-Higuraghi.**

**Beyond: Well I like Mermaid Melody.**

You just think their hot. You've never actually seen the anime!

**Beyond: So?**

**Mello: I agree with Beyond. **

Of course _you_ would.

**Near: When They Cry-Higuraghi.**

**Light: Mermaid Melody.**

**Matt: When They Cry-Higuraghi is much better than Mermaid Melody!**

**Light: Just keep thinking that young naive Matt. Obviously, you've never seen the show.**

**Ryuk: I like Mermaid Melody! One of my favorite shows! ^^**

Wow.

**Misa: Misa-Misa thinks it should be When They Cry-Higuraghi.**

Well I believe it should be a crossover between Death Note and When They Cry-Higuraghi. WTCH: 5 MM:4 When They Cry-Higuraghi it is!

**Next!**

_AmazingZeldafan09 _**asks:**

_*walks in shyly...* Uh... Hi... *Smiles*_

_Hey, anyone who cares to answer, I had this old crush, and when I tried to  
talk to him, he walked away. And now, anytime I see him, he tries to hide his  
face? Any Idea on what that's about? And Beyond, how would you suggest killing  
him?_

_Light, (Why don't you just turn yourself in? That would be fun!)_

_Hey L, LIGHT IS KIRA! HE USES A F*KIN DEATH NOTE!_

_Mello, I have one thing to say... *HUGS*_

_L, one other thing, *Kisses on cheek and runs away giggling*_

_Thank yew :3_

**All: Hi.**

**Near: It might be because either A. he does like you but is embarressed to tell you. or B. because you may have done or said something to him but may not know it.**

**L: Wonderful accusation Near. You shall be a good successor to me.**

**Mello: I-- But-- He-- And-- never mind. -_-**

**Ryuk: Have bad breath maybe?**

That's rude Ryuk!

**Ryuk: Just making suggestions!**

**Beyond: Well I would start with stalking him while he walks home everyday and one night sneak into his house and slowly cut his limbs off one by one then, once the deed is done, put your name on his wall with his own blood.**

**Light: (Cause I don't want to! I want to be freakin god for heaven sakes!)**

**L:........ *sleeping***

L! WAKE UP!

**L: Ahh! Light is Kira! Wait, where am I?**

**Mello: Uh...okay. *hugs***

**L: *blushes***

**Matt: Holy crap! You're blushing! **

**L: What?! I've never been kissed before....**

**Near: But that was just on the cheek.**

**L: Shut up......**

**Light: Ha! Next.**

_Lolita grrl loves L _**asks:**

_I like this guy , but he thinks I'm a freak because I watch Death Note. And our  
janitor thinks I have mental issues. And all my teachers hate me because I  
just sit in the back of the class and draw. So any way to make my life less  
suckish?_

**Ryuk: Well I wouldn't suggest you _stop _watching Death Note. That would just be in-human.**

**Misa: Misa suggests that you participate in class a little more so the teachers don't hate you!**

**Near: Maybe you could try and show this "janitor" that you're just as normal as everyone else. While walking past this janitor you could use big words to make you sound more intelligant and lead him to think that you're not so mental after all.**

**Matt: What a mouth full. Anyway, this guy, do you happen to talk about Death Note around him? If so then that may annoy him. So you could try toning it down a little with the Death Note obsession. Even though we are an awesome t.v. show. ^^**

**L: Next advice question!**

_Kira's Wife Felicia _**asks:**

_Alrighty I'm bored as sin:_

_Do you think I could pass off as...BB_

_Im a Physco  
I love strawberries  
I like blood red_

_DN Cast: What is YOUR fav. color (L dont answer you already did ^_^) *gets shot  
again* I'm still aliv-*gets stabbed by sephiroth and in the head with a kunai  
knife by Itachi Uchiha*_

**Beyond: Do you like killing people just for fun? Or do you have to have everything in a specific order? I didn't think so.**

Chill physcopath!

**Near: Pretty much. You'd just need to be reeeaaalllyyy creepy to really pass off as him.**

**Ryuk: Yeah. I'm a shinigami and Beyond freaks me out!**

**Beyond: Red. **

**Misa: Pink!**

**Matt: Dark blue.**

**Near: A milky white.**

**L: Just white.**

**Ryuk: I don't really know. Shinigami in Mu don't really have "favorite colors".**

**Mello: A navy green.**

**Light: Brown.**

**Near: I think she's actually dead this time.**

**Mello: How sad. Who wants cake?**

**All: I do!**

One less reviewer I guess. And I liked Kira's Wife Felicia's reviews....... Hey! Save me a piece of cake!

Mello?

**Mello: Zzzzzzzzzz.**

Ryuk?

**Ryuk: Zzzzzz.**

Anyone?!

**All: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.**

Oh well, more cake for me! ^^ Join us next time for more "Ask the Death Note Characters Advice!"

* * *

**Well since a few people want to ask Mikami a few things, for the next chapter, Mikami will also answer advice and questions! Yay!**

**But it's only going to be for the next chapter. Unless I decide to make him a permanent character or put him in other chapters.**

**Me without reviews is like Mello without chocolate. The world will end!!!!**

**~Lia or Poizun **


	6. Mikami and L's birthday!

OMG! Mikami's here!! ^^ Say hi Mikami!

**Mikami:** **Uh...hi?**

**Light: Get used to it. She always acts like this.**

**Mikami: Oh my god! I worship you!**

**Light: Now I remember why I lost contact with you. -_-**

**Misa: He's mine Mikami! Stay away! *glomps Light* *glares at Mikami***

Before a violent fight breaks out, let's start on advice!

_AmazingZeldafan09 _**asks:**

_*giggles*_

_Aw! L blushed! How cute. :3_

_Anyways.. thanks Beyond. I might just use that idea... *Grins evilly and rubs  
hands together*_

_Oh, and I have a really good question._

_So, I moved to a new school. Now I'm self consious all the time. Any ideas on  
how to make myself more confident? Any other ideas besides Near's (even though  
I don't mind yours Near.)_

_And Mello... Did you really not mind that hug? *Bats eyes*_

_Beyond... *Hugs and runs away hoping to dodge anything he might throw*_

_And L, I'm sorry... I stole your first cheek kiss... I hope you don't mind.  
:) *Hugs*_

_Thanks for the advice! I loved it.!_

**L:........**

Don't be so embarrassed L. I think it's sweet! :3

**Beyond: Good luck.**

**Matt: One way you could make yourself more confident is to talk to everyone. Even if you don't know and or like them. It should boost your self confidence plus you won't be known as one of those real quiet people.**

**Light: Or you could dress in an odd way so you'll be noticed by everyone. **

**Mikami: Good advice God! **

**Misa: *growls***

**Mello: Well you're not the first fangirl to ask for a hug. So I guess not. :)**

**Beyond: *throws random objects. Including Mello's secret stash of chocolate***

**Mello: Hey!! That's my chocolate. :(**

Oh you poor little chocolate mobster. I shall use my secret author powers to get you some more.

**Mello: Yay! **

**L: Neh. It's alright. *hugs***

**Near: Next.**

_KariiKeiko _**asks:**

_Hey ^_^_

_Question for the strawberry jam maniac (Beyond): This is all hypothectical,  
say I had a boyfriend ALOT like you, and he's just told me all this stuff  
thats kinda OTT just to keep me alive, How should I react?_

_Question for L: Out of the girls in Death Note, Misa, Sayu, Takada and Naomi  
misora, which would you choose to date most?_

_Question for Misa: Where do you get your clothes? I want them! ^_^_

_Question for Mello: Would you make out with Matt?_

_Question for Matt: would you make out with Mello?_

_Question for Near: Is your hair naturally white?_

_Question for Light: Do you think there are still Kira worshippers?_

_Question for Mikami: OMG YOUR SO CUTE! ^_^  
If you could do anything other than be Kira's succsesor/Kira, whatt would it  
be?_

_Question for Ryuk: can I have an apple pweze?_

**Beyond: Why ask me? I would say, "Where have you been all my life?!"**

**L: A proper way to react is to play it cool around him, but once you get home, call the cops.**

**Mikami: Whatever L. What do you think God?**

**Light: I think someone should kill me now.**

**L: Naomi. **

Ohhhh. Someone's got a crush! ^^

**Misa: Hot Topic! ^^**

**Mello: Uh...when pigs fly.**

I can arrange that.

**Mello: Don't you dare!**

**Matt: A "I-think-I'm-goin-barf" moment is coming on.**

**Near: Sure is. Born white.**

**Light: Yes! *everyone stares at Light* I mean no.......**

**Mikami: I know. ^^ I would probably want to own my own bank.**

**Ryuk: Fine. But only one. *hands over a apple* Next!**

_xXStrawberryJamBBXx _**asks:**

_Hi. *glomps everyone* First I'm gonna do some presents for everyone!  
L- here is some cake, and can you please hug Light for me? Please? Sorry, I'm  
a fangirl.. But, I won't attack you or anything.._

_Ryuk- Here Ryuk! You old chap! xD I'm so weird. *gives the biggest apple in  
the world* Try to eat that in one bite. :3_

_Beyond- Hi, Beyond. I'm seriously in the mood in killing someone right now.  
(not for real though) Any ideas? The girl is very annoying.. . *gives  
giant jar of jam*_

_Mello- Mello, my dear! You do Jenny Craig? xD *gives giant chocolate bar* Any  
ways, I usually get bullied most of the time. Usually, they call me skinny. It  
gets annoying! Any ideas?_

_Near- Here is some dice. *gives dice* Hey, why are you so quiet all the time?  
You need to be hyper at some point! .  
Oh, try practicing Laughing. I wanna see how you do it. :3_

_Light- NOTHING, I HATE YOU! :3_

_Misa- *Gives 1,000 Light PLUSHIES* Here ya go!_

_Matt- Matt! HI THERE. *gives 20 games* I love video games! :3_

_Hey? Where is Mikami and Mastuda? They should be here! xD_

**L: Cake! *takes cake* If you insist. *hugs Light***

**Ryuk: *jaw drops* I love you!**

**Beyond: Cut out her brain. Jam!!**

**Mello: Only for the fudge. *Eats whole bar within 2 minutes* Tell them it's better to be skinny then be fat.**

**Near: Thanks. *takes dice* Cause I feel like it. I rather not be hyper. Have you seen Mello when he's on a sugar rush!? Okay here goes, heh heh.**

That was weak.

**Light: Wow. I've hit a new record of 100,000,000,000,000 people hating me.**

**Misa: Yay!! *sticks tongue out at Mikami***

**Matt: Hey. Who doesn't? Oh and happen to have special connections to get me Left 4 Dead 2 on PS3? Poizun's "Author Powers" can't.**

**Mikami: Right here. I don't know where Matsuda is though. Probably doing something stupid though. **

_Kira's Wife Felicia _**asks:**

_I don't know how I keep comming back to life but *to whoever did it* THANKS!_

_-elsewhere-  
Terry (my kitty): meow  
?: *petiing terry* dont worry kitty, felicia's back from the dead  
again...thank god for alchemy huh?_

_-back to where I am-_

_ALRIGHT! How about Light think I resmemble him?_

_I like Justice  
I hate evil  
I'm a freakin' womanizer (no really im on my 2nd or 3rd girlfriend)  
I'm a smart student (in my case, struggle with getting things in on time)_

_-DN cast:  
Where is your ideal vacation spot ^+^_

Yay for Alchemy! ^^ I knew Ed could do it!

**Ryuk: Pretty much. **

**Near: Just go crazy insane and you'll pass for him perfectly.**

**Mikami: How dare you say such things about God!**

**L: Shut up.**

**Mello: Las Vegas!**

**Ryuk: Uh....I'm not sure.**

**Beyond: New York. I hear there's a lot of good victims down there.**

**Misa: Hawaii! ^^**

**Light: Anywhere far away from Misa and Mikami.**

**L: I've always wanted to vacation in Paris.**

**Near: Maybe to the Bahamas. I've been wanting to get a tan for a while.**

**Matt: I like it here in Japan.**

**Mikami: Anywhere where God is.**

Now you're starting to get annoying.....

**Mello: Next.**

_Majorfangirl_ **asks:**

_Coulda sworn I was logged in when I reviewed..(I was the wing person) Well,  
Erica apparently was kidding...because she knows I'm paranoid and wanted to  
get back at me for always being a hover craft/creeper. I can't help it that I  
prefer sitting behind her in class and occasionally following her around  
school! Um...I mean...KWAHFIUFD Okay, yeah.  
BUT, YES, RYUK, WINGS ARE AWESOME! My Halloween costume has wings! And a  
black dress, and blue nail polish, and blue lipstick, and the most amazing  
belt of all time. The only time of year I actually WANT to wear a dress and  
make up...  
Okay, but anyway, I'm a person with issues, so I'll always have problems.  
Megan is a dirty thief. Seriously. As if my lunch wasn't fail enough today  
(Bacon, an apple, and four oreos. Seriously. Bacon. I'm not kidding) she took  
one of my oreos. I wouldn't have known it was her because she pinned it on  
Emma, but despite her amazing acting skills, I know she's the only one. What  
do I do to get her back?_

**Ryuk: Sounds awesome.**

**Mello: Put spiders in her lunch.**

**Matt: Silly string her house.**

Boy, are you two going to be the tricksters on Halloween....

**Mikami: Use a certain "note book" to kill said person.**

**L: Or you could just stuff your oreos with dirt so when she steals one she'll regret it.**

**Misa: Next advice!**

_GalaxyTheElementGirl _**asks:**

_Hello~ I am back, and in such a better mood! I saw Paranormal Activity today,  
and though it was scary, the ending was very sad. It wasn't as scary as I  
thought it would be! Well, new advice is in order. I have a project...with the  
guy that I now hate. And one guy practically asked me to marry him. What to  
do??  
Present/Questions/Responses.  
Mello-You look a bit girlish but you're great on either gender. Shows that  
you're the man, eh? Well for you...you get to go to __Willy Wonka's chocolate  
factory~! And yes, do you have the Mafia's number, I just might use your idea!! __And to all of you... TICKETS TO GO SEE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY WITH ME!! When are  
you free??_

**All: Good.**

**Near: Just ignore the guy you hate and only talk in one word responses.**

**Ryuk: Marry? Reject his offer politely.**

**Mello: Sure I guess. I get to meet Willy Wonka!? He's my hero! *eyes sparkle* I do but I rather not give the number out to the public. Then everyone will be calling.**

**All: Now! **

Hold it guys. We must finish the advice _then _we can go.

**All: Awww...**

_Hyper Emo Panda _**asks:**

_Howdy Death Note Peoples... and shinigami :3  
Adviceness... I'm depressed and have suicidal urges, indeed I live up to my  
user name. What should I do? Also Light your a freakin sl*t Lol. Also have you  
seen the pic of the little ghost kid on the stairs in Ammityville? So freakin  
scary 0-0_

_Matt-You get an epic way to die and just because of that, you get a ** with a  
ribbon. Enjoy (:_

_L-Sup detective man :3. Uhh... Have a.. pencil and some cake_

_Light-You suck._

_Misa-Because you dress awesome you get a cat plushie._

_Ryuk-Have an apple..._

_Beyond-You are more creative in killing people than Kira  
*CoughLightCoughCough* for that you get a chain saw and jam. Go nuts._

_Near-Howdy,, Heh my friend loves you, it was so funny when someone else  
pretended to be like you. She man hit everyone. Why am I saying this? Have some  
lego_

_Mikami-Snerfles...You killed your self with a pen! Hah!_

**Beyond: Jump off a building.**

NO! NO! NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!

**L: I suggest seeing a therapist.**

**Near: Or a physiatrist.**

Either way. DON'T JUMP!

**Light: Sticks and stones.**

**Matt: Uh....thanks.**

**L: Nothing much. I needed a new pencil, thanks.**

**Light: See last answer.**

**Misa: CAT PLUSHIE!! x3**

**Ryuk: Why not?**

**Beyond: You know I will. Now I have new equipment to use to scare kids.**

**Near: Uh....okay. Yay! A lego.**

**Mikami: I know. T.T**

**All: HAPPY BIRTHDAY L!!!!**

**L: Yeah, yeah. Where's the cake?**

Here you awesome detective you. :3

**L: *eats cake* **

Now what are you guys going to be for Halloween?

**Mello: A gangsta.**

**Matt: A gameboy.**

**Ryuk: An apple!**

**L: The world's greatest detective, L.**

**Beyond: The world's greatest serial killer, Beyond.**

**Light: God!**

**Misa: A fairy! ^^**

Me too! But a gothic fairy.

**Near: I don't want to say....**

Please!?

**Near: Fine. A.....*mumbles* lamb.**

Aww! How cute! x3

**Mikami: And I'm going to be a *mumbles* delete key.**

Lol! xD Mikami, do the honor pleaze?

**Mikami: Goodbye, Happy Halloween, and Join us for a next chapter.**

Delete key! Bwhahahah! xDD

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed having our little guest, Mikami, here. :3 I believe I'll do more chapters on him probably. Unless you guys want him to become a permenant character. **

**Me without reviews is like L without cake. The world will end! (mixing things up a bit!)**

**~Lia (Hope you all have a save and awesome Halloween!)**


	7. Fat jokes and Cannibal friends

Hello everyone, I feel depressed...... and oh the irony in asking this, but does anyone have good advice to help with my depression?

**Misa: Wow.**

**L: That's new.**

**Mello: Yeah. So like, no hyperness?**

Yeah I guess.

**All: Yay!**

_Raven-Raspera _**asks:**

_Okay, first have to say that this is hilarious.  
Now, I need help with something. There's this guy I'm friends with, but I  
also kind of 'like' him. However, I don't think he thinks of me like that, and  
I don't want to tell him in case things get awkward.  
And no, BB, I'm not going to kill him. -.-  
Anyway, before I leave...*Glomps L* I LOVE YOU!_

Thanks. I try.

**Beyond: D*mn......**

**Matt: Then I would just stay friends with him for now unless he starts to show feelings for you.**

**Near: Well then I-- wait I was going to say that. Matt, are you a mind reader? *looks at Matt suspicously***

**Matt: Yes, no, maybe so.**

**L: Uh, I love you too. **

**Ryuk: Next!**

_KariiKeiko _**asks:**

_Hulo, I'm here again! ^_^_

_Reply to BB: awh, thanks for the advice ^_^_

_Reply to Light: why should someone kill you? *confused*_

_Reply to L: AH WHY ARE YOU SO SMART AND CUTE?? You must have felt awful when  
you found out she was engaged *nod*_

_Reply to Misa: Really? Awesome ^_^_

_Reply to Mello and Matt: awh why not? :(_

_Reply to Near: awh, that's adorable, can I take you home?_

_Reply to Light: I know for a fact there is *nod* not saying who :P_

_Reply to Mikami: I woulda thought you'd work as something more exciting than  
a bank... '^_^_

_Reply to Ryuk: I AM BLESSED! I GOT AN APPLE FROM RYUK! HAHA!_

_Okay, I have somemore questions if that's alright with you lot ^_^_

_BB, what would you look for in a girls personality, for a grilfriend?_

_L, what would you have done if you had been in Light's position getting a  
death note?_

_Misa, would you consider dating BB or L? ^_^ (don't kill me BB! Don't make me  
feel smaller than I am now L!)_

_Mello, why is your hair like that?_

_Matt, Is your hair naturally red? and do you have irlen syndrome?_

_Near, do you consider yourself better than L?_

_Light, how many girls that you went out with did you actually like?_

_Ryuk, did you and Rem ever have a relationship?_

**Beyond: Anytime.**

**Light: Because Mikami was getting on my last nerve last chapter.**

**L: AH I DON'T KNOW?? Yeah..... :(**

**Matt and Mello: Because I'm not gay.**

**Near: Buy me lots of toys and it's a deal.**

**Ryuk: And I don't hand those out very often. ^^**

**Beyond: Perferably has black hair, rockin body, doesn't care that I'm a crazed physcopathic maniac, and always has strawberry jam in stock.**

**L: I would probably study the note book and test it to see if it works. Then I would have it locked up so no evil person *cough* Kira *cough* could use it.**

**Misa: Uh...is there a third option?**

**Beyond: What's wrong with me?**

**Misa: Everything.**

**L: And me?**

**Misa: You're just too weird.**

**Beyond and L: -_-**

**Mello: Because I felt that it suits me.**

**Matt: Sure is. What? No. What makes you think that? **

Matt, can you read this section out of this magazine please?

**Matt: No prob. Uh.....hmmm.....I can't! There all squished together! What kind of person writes letters so squished like that?!**

Matt, can you please get off your lazy bum and show interest in something for once?

**Matt: Nope. Don't feel like it.**

And you say you don't have Irlen Syndrome....

**Near: No. L is my mentor and I hope to succeed him no over throw him.**

**L: Good answer Near.....**

**Light: Well......there was that one girl...never mind, I used her too. Not that I can think of.**

**Ryuk: With Rem?!? Blech. When I first saw her, I thought she was a dude!**

_Majorfangirl_ **asks:**

_*cackles crazily* You guys are geniuses! And my costume was amazing and even  
though I'm too old to trick or treat, I tagged along with a seven year old and  
did anyone! *strokes bag of candy* But dad keeps taking all the M&Ms, which I  
happen to like. Got any fat insults that'll keep him from doing so?_

**All: We know. ^^**

**Mello: Now I'm an expert when it comes to fat jokes. So prepare yourself: You're so fat that when your beeper went off people thought you were backing up! You're so fat, when you stepped on the scale it said "to be continued"! You're so fat that NASA orbits satellites around you! ****You're so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get to your GOOD side! ****You're so fat you use a VCR for a pager! You're so fat when you walk past a window we lose four days of sun light! And my favorite: You're so fat you were attacked by japanese military, they thought you was godzillas cousin! **

**Beyond: Crap. You got some jokes.....**

**Light: I like the NASA one.**

**Near: Next.**

_Galaxy The Element Girl _**asks:**

_Bonjour mon ami! First, happy late Halloween to everyone!!  
I'm sorry that I couldn't come yesterday but here I am. Well, um, here's some  
of my new questions/advice. My little brother keeps hogging the Wii. How can I  
get him off the Wii??_

_Mello-You like Willy Wonka?? Really? Great! I just got the movie, and I was  
wondering if when you come back from the factory, if you would like to watch  
it with me... I'll pay for the chocolate! *pouts* can't you make just a teensy  
tiny exception? I'd rather not use the Death Note, too... Promise I won't give  
out the number!_

_Matt-Hi Matty! Well, I got you all the games I could from GameStop... they  
closed it! Without any warning at all... T.T and it was the only game store  
for about a mile... xP  
Also... can I get a hug??_

_L-How are you? Well, I got you some cake!*smiles brightly* also from another  
store they closed T.T_

_Light- I got you a new mini TV. Those don't come cheap, you know. ._

_Misa- Since I feel bad that I didn't get you anything this time, would you  
like to come shopping with me tomorrow?_

_Ryuk- Here's an apple!!*tosses apple* My friend is allergic to apples. Can  
you believe that?0.o_

_Beyond- Hey B. I have some jam here, would you like it? It seems my mother  
bought an infinite supply of jam today._

_Near-*pats on the head* I took your advice. Thank you~ for that you get to go  
with me to...Toys R Us HQ!_

_No? Mikami isn't here? Make him a permanent character!! Until you decide to  
make him a permanent charrie, I shall be holding him ransom! *laughs evilly  
before kidnapping Mikami*_

_Oh and to all of you.. you get a limited five-thousand-dollar gift card that  
works everywhere and you can get anything!...the catch is you must spend it in  
the next hour or it will expire ^^ enjoy!_

**Beyond: Simple, cut his arms off so he can't play the wii.**

**Misa: I suggest saying that too much usage of the wii controller can result in a fatal skeletal disease that can make you paralyzed. If he doesn't believe that then dare him to look it up on the internet. (May work best if you created a site talking about such)**

**Mello: Sounds great. Fine, but I'll have to send it to you. Can't say it out loud to the public.**

**Matt: Sweet, new games! Why not? *hugs***

**L: I'm fine thank you. Cake!!**

**Light: I'll be sure to put this to good use. *wink***

**Misa: ^^ YES!!**

**Ryuk: *eats apple* I would hate to be allergic to apples! Good thing I'm a shinigami.**

**Beyond: Yes I would. *scarfs down whole jar* **

**Near: Toys R Us! One of my favorite stores!**

Poor Mikami.

**All: AHHH!! MUST SPEND NOW!**

After update.

**All: aww...**

_Hyper Emo Panda_** asks:**

_Heh, thank you for adviceness, the parentals have got me set up with some  
perverted psychiatrist -_-''  
Anyways Replies..  
Beyond-Gee...such...helpful advice  
Near and L-Thanks and such ^-^_

_Now I need more advice T-T  
My friend who likes Near (Lol she went as Itachi), another girl (Who likes  
Mello, went as MisaMisa) and I (Lol I went as Beyond) were going trick or  
treating but cosplaying Death Note and Akatsuki peoples and we didn't want to  
tell our other friends because they would eat us T-T...cannibals. Anyways they  
found out we went trick or treating without them and now there really annoyed  
at us because we 'betrayed them and the gods', what do I do?_

_All-Seriously type in 'amityville horror ghost on the stairs' in __google  
images (It's black and white) and make the pic big, the little ghost boy is  
freakin creepy 0-0_

**Beyond: I know right?**

**Near and L: Anytime.**

**Light: Apoligize and tell them that "the god" does not feel betrayed.**

**L: Or you could bribe their forgiveness. A big Hershey's bar should do the trick. **

**Mello: I should get people to bride for my forgiveness with Hershey's bars before killing them....**

**All: Will do......S**t!!! That's f*ckin creepy!!!!**

**Misa: Next!!**

_Kira's Wife Felicia Suoh _**asks:**

_-meanwhile-  
Edward: Curses! how did i get found out!  
Terry (my kitty): Mreow?  
Ed: ok kitty, time for plan b) ROY KEEP FELICIA'S ADDRESS A SECRET! THE FANS  
MUST NOT KNOW WHERE I AM!  
Roy: will do *broadcasts the address and Ed's name*_

_-back with me-_

_ok I'm bored and I have nothing better than to ask this:_

_DEATH NOTE CAST! I WANT YOU TO BE THE OURAN HOST CLUB UNTIL THANKSGIVING OR  
UNTIL THE END OF THIS FANFICTION!_

_-meanwhile-  
Tamaki: Felicia's shouting random things to the DN cast isn't she?  
Kyouya: Yah pretty much, and to think you married her  
Tamaki: shush, if shes bored and wants to say something random, let her_

Cause I'm awesome like that Edward. And I knew where you were. Cause I always know where you are. 0.0

**All: Whaa?!**

Sorry, but I've never seen the show, so I can't fulfill your request. If you can explain it to me then I'll put it in the next chapter. *strained smile*

Ryuk?

**Ryuk: Thanks for reading, reviewing, and join us next time! ^^**

* * *

**Is depression contagious? Cause I could have sworn that a week ago my friend, Elena, was drepressed and now she's all happy again. Now I'm depressed. I have no idea why though. At least I'm not going through a "identity crisis" like my younger brother is. **

**Me without reviews is like Near without toys. The world will end.**

**~Lia**


	8. Annoying friends and Questions

Okay, I feel sooo much better! Thanks to some certain advice someone wrote. ;)

And now I'm FULL of energy!!

**All: NO!!**

Yes! OMG EVERYONE!!! RABBID FAN-GIRL ATTACK AT 2:00!!!!

**All but Misa: AHHH!!**

Ha ha ha ha! I've always wanted to say that!

**Misa: But it's only 1:00. We still have an hour. :)**

***Everyone stares at Misa***

Wow. It was a joke Misa.

***Everyone breathes a sigh of relief***

**Misa: *10 minutes later* Oh, hahahahah! I get it now!**

Let's just get on with the advice. **--.--**

_Majorfangirl _**asks:**

_*laughing so hard it hurts* I really love you right now, Mello.  
Ryuk, I think you've been replaced by Mello as my favorite.  
Naw, not really.  
Let's see, I have some issues...  
My best friend Erica met a guy online who is four years older than her. Now  
she's always on the phone with him, and when she's not, she's obsessing over  
him or whining about the fact that they can't talk to each other. They're  
already planning what animal they're going to get when they're married (a  
duckling). She's seriously creeping me out and it's getting annoying, but  
whenever I try and voice this, she gets angry and tells me that I'm just  
jealous because she's found true love and I'm just too busy obsessing over  
fictional characters. How can I tell her how I feel without her getting angry  
at me?_

**Ryuk: Yeah! In your face Mello!**

**Mello: So? I've got an ocean full of fan-girls. *opens window to reveal over a million fan-girls***

**Misa: From one girl to another, I would lightly say that you're happy for her but also have her _really _think about the dangers of online relationships. Tell her you're just concerned for her.**

**Near: For all she knows, he could be a hobo or a stalker.**

**Matt: And if she really annoys you, then you can annoy her back by talking about fictional characters. *cough* ME!! *cough***

Pfft! I do that anyway. Next!

_LittleMissAnthrope _**asks:**

_I has a question. ^^_

_For... Matt-kun. ^o^  
WHERE THE FRICK DID THE GOGGLES COME FROM?!_

_P.S. Light-kun, how do you make your hair so shiny? O_O_

**Matt: Got them hand made in Japan. I believe it was at this old abandoned factory in a dark alley or something like that.**

You got them at an old abandoned factory in a dark alley? What, did a drug dealer make them?

**Matt: *shrugs* Now don't disturb me. I'm going to break a record of playing Halo for 3 days straight.**

**Light: I'm glad you asked. You see I--**

**Beyond: No one wants to hear your long story about how you got the d*mn conditioner. Make it short and simple.**

**Light: Fine. I found it in a magical place where ponies roam: Wal-Mart.**

***Near and I start laughing our heads off* Wal-Mart's paying you to say that aren't they?!? xD**

**Light: Yes....**

**Mello: I wonder how much that pays...... Next!**

_ChocolatePuzzle _**asks:**

_Ok...stupid cpu won't let me login, so from now on I'm ChocolatePuzzle! ^^  
anyway, who do you think I'm more like? Near or Mello??  
I'm really quiet most of the time and love puzzles to death. and legos, but  
my brother never lets me use his (he never uses them...T^T) my friends poke  
fun at me cause I sit with one leg pulled to my chest and absentmindedly curl  
my hair. course, my hair's not white...(d*mn. lucky Near)  
sometimes(not a lot lately) I get ** for no reason at everyone and threaten  
death, pain, and major mutilation. especially at this one guy I know...he's  
like if I were Mello, he'd be my Near. I ** HATE him! Hey Beyond, any advice  
on how to kill the b*stard? ^^  
*glomps L and Near* you guys are ** AWESOME!_

_*** slaps Light* (I used to be a full blown Kira supporter, but now I hate you  
cuz you killed L and I couldn't find any good characteristics in you. I was  
watching the series and you made so many mistakes that made it so easy for L  
to find you! Not as smart as you claim, huh? ^^)_

_*glomps Matt and hands him Halo ODST* I love your goggles. question: I'm  
gonna get some tomorrow. neon green or orange?_

_*cautiously hands Mello chocolate* two words: friggin epic._  
_by the way, happy belated birthday L!!_

**L: From the sound of it I would say Near.**

**Mello: And you say you don't have favorites....**

**Beyond: Yes. But it's going to take a chainsaw, 3 screws, a grape, and a stripper.**

Uh....I rather not know what you're planning on doing with all those.....objects....

**L and Near: We know.**

**Light: Oww! What mistakes? My plan was f*ckin awesome but stupid Mikami ruined it!**

**Matt: *non-chalantley takes game* Thanks. **

Matt!! Don't be rude to ChocolatePuzzle! Answer.

**Matt: But I can't pause the game or I have to start over! **

MATT!!

**Matt: Fine. *Still playing game* If you haven't gotten them already, orange.**

Thank you Matt. ^^

**Mello: I know I am right? **

**L: Thank you. I got lots of cake. Just in case you were wondering.**

**Beyond: Yeah, but no freakin jam....Next.**

_Silvaria _**asks:**

_...Well, this really HAS brought a smile to my face lately! Thanks for doing  
this! Although I have noticed the Death Note cast has been getting quite a few  
gifts from this, too.  
Anyway, question time. My friends keep comparing me to one of you guys. It  
was kind of cool for a while, but now it's just getting annoying. Especially  
since they keep mocking how I sit... Ahem.  
Any ideas on how to get them to stop or on just dealing with it?_

_As for Lia's question, I try and tough it out when it rears it's ugly head.  
Or I try and distract myself with things that normally cheer me up. Remember,  
inner-fangirl beats nearly everything any time! Sorry if I can't really  
explain it properly._

Welcome! ^^

**All: We have!**

D*mn spoiled DN stars......

**Mello: One way to make them stop is to bite their feet off and then they'll see who'll be sitting funny.**

Mello, can you like go _one_ chapter without threating to bite, rip, and or shoot somebody's body parts off?

**Mello: Nope.**

**Near: You could deal with it by showing no reaction to being compared to us. They may stop.**

**Light: You could also tell them that your freakin sick of being compared to us. Even though I don't know _anyone _who's tired of being compared to us....**

No need to explain anymore, I understand completly! After reading your review, I simply drew anime, read some manga, and obsessed over my favorite fictional characters. The inner fan-girl in me exploded with pure happiness which over came my depression. I can't even remember why I was depressed. Thanks for the awesome advice! ^^

**Misa: Next!!**

_WaterGoddessKasey _**asks:**

_Howdy! Just got some questions and comments for the DN crew!!_

_(points at light) **! burn the **!!_

_Beyond wanna play a game? I'ts called stabby stabby cut cut! (lol from the  
movie year one)_

_Misa... I will kill you with a sock puppet.._

_Mello did you know Madonna is a big DN fan and dressed up like you in a music  
vid?_

_Matt isn't pokemon on the DS teh awesomest! POKEMONS!_

_L your cute but your eyes give me nightmares NIGHTMARES!_

**Light: Like to see ya make me!**

I can and I will.

**Light: I'm not afraid of your "Author Powers".**

That's what my last fanfiction character said......before I made him pregnant...

**Light: PREGNANT!?! I'll do as you say master!**

That's what I thought.

**Beyond:** **Depends on who were stabbing. *looks over to me* Oh yeah, I've seen that movie. But can we still stab someone? *points to me***

Hey!

**Misa: Ahh!! I've always known sock puppets were evil!!!!**

**Mello: No I did not. I'll have to get in touch with Madonna to see if she would like to meet the "real" Mello.... *Thinks perverted thoughts***

**Matt:......**

*Unplugs t.v.*

**Matt: NO!!! I still had 90 hours left!!! I hate you Lia.....**

Well I convert your hate to love. Now answer the question!

**Matt: *mumbles nasty words then perks up* Yes Pokemon is awesome!! Glad to meet another Pokey fan!**

**L: Nightmares? As long as they don't remind you of a Panda then I'm fine.**

**Ryuk: Next!**

_1313-Hora _**asks:**

_Matt - What's your favorite video game?  
L - What's your LEAST favorite color?  
Mello - Do you like white chocolate?  
Light - What shampoo do you use?  
Near - Is your hair naturally curly?  
Misa - Are you a good dancer?  
Beyond - Do you like cats?  
Ryuk - Why are apples so awesome?  
All - What's your favorite song?_

**Matt: Hmmm.......hard to choose. But I would probably say Call of Duty.**

**L: Fuschia. It just really bothers me, that shade of pink.**

**Mello: It's okay, but I perfer milk chocolate!**

**Beyond: Remembe, short and simple.**

**Light: Suave.....for men of course.**

**Near: Not really. I just twirl my hair so often that it curls.**

**Misa: You bet I am!!!!**

**Beyond: I like killing cats if that's what you mean.**

**Ryuk: Because when you live in Mu where apples freakin taste like dust and then you have human apples, you start to see that apples are awesome.**

**Light: "Single Ladies".**

**All: *stares***

**Light: What? It's a good song.**

**Near: "New Divide"**

**L: "Automatic"**

**Mello: "Humanoid"**

**Misa: "Pressure"**

**Beyond: "Kill You"**

Of course you would like that song....

**Ryuk: I don't have a favorite song.**

**Matt: "Feel Good"**

**L: Next.**

_KariiKeiko _**asks:**

_Hullo once more... do tell me if I ever annoy you people :)_

_Reply to BB, I'm planning on dying my hair black and I love maniacs and  
strawberry jam, do I count?_

_Reply to L, awh, cute ^_^_

_Reply to Misa, nope ^_^_

_Reply to Mello, awesomme_

_Reply to Matt, cute, thats why you wear tinted sunglasses right?_

_Reply to Near, Deal, and thats also cute, I'm gna take you both home :)_

_Ryuk, don't be so mean_

_Okay question time (sorry)_

_Light, what do you look for in a girl??_

_Ryuk, who is the King of death, shinigami king dude?_

_Near, why are you obsessed with toys?_

_L and BB, who won in the end?_

_Misa, why are you blonde and annoying?_

_Matt, what was it like being the third runner up?_

_Mello, why did you decide to write up the BB murder cases?_

**All: Not yet.**

**Beyond: Yeah, pretty much. Call me sometime. *winks***

**Misa: Crap....**

Well Misa, make your decision and be on with your date!

**Misa: But KariiKeiko never said I had to go on a date with--**

I don't care if she said so or not. I want you to go on a date with either Beyond or L!!

**Misa: Sh*t.....Uh...Beyond I guess.**

**All: *Gasp***

**Misa: What? You can't judge a book by it's cover.**

**L: But there's no cover on him. He's a wide open book! **

L's a little bit jealous! Now have fun you two! *Shoves Beyond and Misa out the door* And Beyond, no molesting Misa!

**Matt: *still sour* Yeah. The doctor recommended them....**

**Ryuk: It's true.**

**Light: Must be hot, doesn't care if I use her, believes strongly in the justice (Of Kira), Doesn't stalk me (MISA), and doesn't care if I have an emotional break down which causes me to laugh physcotically for no reason.**

**Ryuk: Just as his name says, he's the shinigami king. He rules over us shinigami and supplies us with death notes.**

**Near: Because they are fun to play with and also because I never had any toys when I was younger.**

**L and Beyond: Me. HEY!**

*cough* L because he managed to lock you up in prision and you wind up dying because of Light *cough*

**Beyond: Oh right. I hate you Light. I'm going to kill you in your sleep.**

**Light: I'll keep that in mind.**

**Misa: Because I was born that way and I'm not annoying!**

**All: I would beg to differ....**

**Matt: Not bad. I could really care less actually. But at least I'm not put under so much pressure like Near would be trying to succeed L.**

**Mello: I decided to write that because I wanted to show Near that I knew more about L than he did. **

Well this is the end of this chapter. Join us next time!

Oh and I almost forgot!

I Recommend reading; Death Note: Alternate Note By: Undercover92

It's quite an interesting story, so check it out! ;)

* * *

**Me without reviews is like Beyond without jam! The world will end!**

**~Lia**


	9. Beyond's Daugher and The World Condition

Good morning everyone! We really need to get started on th-- Wait, where's Near? I guess we'll just have start the advice withou--

**Near: *Bursts through door with shirt shredded* **

**Everyone: *Gasps***

**Matt: Dude, what happened to you?**

**Near: *panting* It's those.....fan....girls. **

Really? Tell us what happened.

**Near: *still panting* Well I was...on my way here ,in disguise,.....one fan-girl recongnized me....then another......then I was surrounded..and they tackled me and shredded my clothes. Some asked me to take off my.....pants cause they wanted to see....my albino ass. Luckly Watari saw me and......escorted me here. Phew.**

**Everyone:.........**

**Mello: Bwhahahahahahahahah! See your albino ass my, ass.**

What a very....interesting story Near. Try to be to be on time next time okay? You don't need to make excuses to try and miss out on advice giving.

**Near: But I--**

Advice time!!

**Near: I hate my life...**

_Chocolate_AlbinoCreamPuff _**asks:**

_I was ChocolatePuzzle, but I changed it!^^  
ok, one: Light, if you're as smart as you claim, shouldn't you have foreseen  
that L would've broadcasted only in the Kanto region to find you? I mean  
really... and he tricked you with those copies of the pentagram and  
suicide note when you were in the cafe. But yeah, I agree; Mikami only added  
to the amount of evidence against you. Face it. You were screwed the minute L  
found out about the death note._

_Sorry I interrupted your Halo game Matt. do you by chance watch Red vs Blue?  
My favorite characters are Caboose and Church!_

_Hey Mello, how come you blew up your mafia base? Couldn't you have escaped  
through a secret backdoor or something instead of blowing up half your face?  
(unless he didn't have a secret backdoor..)_

_*gives Near 1 million piece lego kit* Go crazy with that, Near. you deserve  
it for kicking Light's **! ^^ oh, and are you really albino? I say no, since  
your eyes aren't pink, but my friend says albinos can have gray eyes._

_*gives L giant cake* Sorry I couldn't give you that last time. My questions  
were cut short...out of everyone in the series, who do you hate/think was the  
most annoying? Be honest!_

_Ryuk! *tosses an apple* Ever tried chocolate covered apples? They're awesome!  
I thought it was awesome when you killed Light. You looked so evil! ^^_

_Misa, ever think of laying off of Light for a while? You do realize he's only  
using you for his own devious plans, and as soon as you lose your usefulness  
he'll kill you?_

**Everyone: Again? Can't make up your mind can you?**

I happen to like this new nickname. It' cute! ^^

**Light: No comment. -_-**

**Matt: No sweat. I wound up breaking the record for the longest pouting. And yes I do. I perfer Caboose, don't know why really.**

**Mello: I didn't really think that idea through. All I knew was that I was going to blow something up!**

**Near: Thank you. And yes, I really am albino. It is true that abino's can have grayish eyes, but the most common is pink.**

**L: *eats cake* At least I have the cake now. I would probably say Kanzo Mogi. He rarely ever spoke which, for some reason, chipped my hide. He was so reserved that, at first, I suspected him of being Kira. **

**Ryuk: *while eating apple* S'no. F'why thank s'you. *swallows apple* I know right? That's one of my favorite fan poses.**

**Misa: I know. But I hope to never lose usefulness to Light. We were meant to be.**

Wow. Obsessed much?

**Mello: Duh. Next!**

_Majorfangirl _**asks:**

_Heh, I've got my annoyance all planned out...there's my handy dandy textbook  
dance (Ripping off Blues Clues? Me? NO WAY! Blues Clues taught me everything I  
know!), then there's my "intelligent talk" about nothing ("But if the __square  
root of pie is cake, then that clearly means the brownies will get jealous and  
begin throwing cookies. In which case, we need to build a Hershey Bar fort to  
protect them..." Erica: -headdesk-), and, of course, the usual fangirl rant,  
only revved up!  
So...I keep losing pencils. How can I manage to keep one so that I don't keep  
getting in trouble for not having one in algebra and art?_

**Beyond: Dang. You're already starting to annoy me.**

**Near: One simple thing you could do is keep a note on your bedroom door or something to remind you to bring a pencil.**

**Matt: Or you could do what I always did when I was in school. You duct tape a pencil to your pants so you'll always have one. It really helped me when I reeaaaaalllllyyyy got into my games.**

**Mello: Well if you don't have a pencil, then why not steal some other kids?**

You're hopeless....

**Misa: Next!**

_Kira Wife Felicia _**asks:**

_Ok which is better: Kitties or Dolphins? *gets killed by a light saber*_

_-meanwhile-_

_Edward: Wtf!? What is that kid doing that keeps getting her killed?! Augh!_

**Ryuk: How this has to do with anything, I'll never know. But I would say kitties.**

Aww! Me too!

**L: Kitties.**

**Near: Kitties.**

**Mello: Copy cat. Isn't there something more manly, like....a shark or something? **

**Light: Uh...dolphins?**

**Misa: Oh, I love dolphins too Light-ning-bug!**

**Beyond: I would probably say dolphins only cause their smart enough to live in water. The only place I refuse to kill. Bad memories.....*Has a flash back* "AHHH! Something bit me!" *shudders***

Ah-ha! The fearless Beyond has a weakness! So what was it?

**Beyond: A frickin turtle.....**

**Matt: Kitties I would say.**

Aww! How cute! NEXT!

_YuzukiraBirthday _**asks:**

_Hey, I looked up that photo from chap. 8. WIMPS! (exept BB cause i love him.  
the rest of you are WIMPS) THATS NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT SCARY! Infact it  
may one day end up my computer wallpaper!^-^ Lol. anyway_

_BB:I have to say I`M JUST LIKE YOU! I`m insane, I practice my evil laugh, I  
eat strawberry jam and love sugar! (omg. I noticed i look a TON like naomi  
misora. (my hair is brown and curly though) *GASP* COULD IT BE POSSIBLE THAT  
YEARS AGO YOU AND HER GOT MARRIED AND HAD ME BUT WERE CAPTURED AND I WAS  
RAISED BY THE PEOPLE HOLDING YOU AND HER CAPTIVE!?!?!?!?!!?! *LE GASPETH* _

**Beyond: I know right? Such big wimps. Me and Naomi!? Well, there was that one time that I got sooo wasted.....but I can't remember anything that happened that night.....HOLY SH*T!!! MAYBE YOU ARE ME DAUGHTER! 0___0**

Awww! Beyond may have a daughter! Look how happy he is!

**Beyond: Crap, Crap, CRAP!!! It could be possible....but no. No it can't be possible. But it might! AHHHHH!!**

**Mello: Ha! If you have a daughter then you're screwed! No more late night slayings, drinks, and or raping! **

**Beyond: *freaks out* **

**Ryuk: Dude......Next.**

_Liz Yeriod _**asks:**

_Hello.  
I wanted to commence by saying Light is my favorite Death Note character so I  
am principally asking guidance from him.  
The issue I am seeking advice on is how to handle a minute case of  
frustration with the world condition. In Death Note, Light seemed irritated by  
his peers whose minds were focused on trivial matters rather than things of  
consequence and thus I feel he could relate to my situation. My classmates are  
concerned with a vista of egocentric subjects and are close minded towards the  
subject of society as a whole, the condition of people in need, and the  
increase in moral degradation. I do not know how to alleviate the situation or  
if there is anything I can do to solve such a problem. So I want to ask Light  
what he would have done about the world condition if he had not found the  
Death Note and his thoughts about what I should do?_

_:) Thanks for reading._

_Post script: I said Light was my favorite character but he is tied with L  
because I enjoy L's awkward behavior. xD_

**Light: Well, I couldn't imagine what I would have done if I didn't find the Death Note. But I would suggest ignoring those idiots and joining a group of people who are actually concerned for the world condition. Or you could try and knock some sense into those fools to start caring for the world or else there won't be a world to live on any more.**

**L: In your face Light.**

**Near: Next.**

_LadyWillowtree _**asks:**

_Hi you guys! This had made me laugh so many times, thanks for the  
awesomeness! And also thanks for the amazing show!_

_Anyway, on with my question(s)...  
My friends and I are cosplaying L, Mello, and Matt. Any tips? (I'm being L,  
by the way!)_

_And know, you all get presents (aren't you popular!)  
L: You get sweets! (cake, cookies, etc...) you also get Cheek Kisses!  
Mello: The biggest Herseys bar I can find (and I will look all over the world  
for it!)! Hugs!  
Matt: Any and All the video games you want(any you don't have?)! You get as  
many hugs as you want, you epic character, you!  
Near: All the legos you want!(Legos rock!) Huggles!  
Beyond: Jam (that seems like the only thing you ever get, hope you don't  
mind!)  
Light:...you want some chips? (I got Lays!) Hand shake?  
Misa: Shopping trip (and Bring Light if you want!) Air Kisses darling!  
Ryuk: An Apple Orchard (That allot of Apples!) (Nods head in Ryuk's  
direction)  
And for the Amazing Author: I give you a 2-liter mountain dew so you'll write  
more!_

_Lot's of Love_  
_Willow!_

**L: A tip to use, since you're cosplaying as me, is to constantly have sucker or type of candy in your mouth at all times. Also coping my slouched position while walking will give you more of an effect.**

**Matt: I would suggest carrying around a D.S., PSP, etc. and cigarettes. Or those little fake cigarettes that you use to freak your parents out. Also, the occasional shouts of, "Dude! You just got Pwned!!!" wouldn't hurt.**

**Mello: Carry around a bar of chocolate and use nasty insults plus some "Yo momma" jokes. And don't forget to dress COMPLETELY in leather to really pass off as me.**

**L: Yay! And I assume that there not a new brand of hershey's kisses are they?**

**Mello: Man, that is huge! For a chocolate bar like this, sure! *hugs***

**Matt: Sweetness! Well after this load I don't think there _is _a game that I don't have. And I like hugs so: *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* **

**Near: Thanks. And yes, they do rock.**

**Beyond: Who could get tired of jam?**

**Light: Sure! Uh...okay. *handshake***

**Misa: Most definatly! Why wouldn't I bring my Nighty-Light? Why of course darling! *Air kisses***

**Ryuk: APPLES!!!!**

MOUTIAN DEW!!!!!!!!! It's my secret energy source that keeps me goin!!! You rock! I sooo love you right now! But not in a lesbo way. ;)

_Silvaria _**asks:**

_Glad to help you along, then! And that was good advice. I'll try it the next  
few days to see if it works. ...Okay, maybe not Mello's.  
Now, for question time.  
For L, I've been engaging in a battle of wits with someone to see who could  
come out on top in different situations. Much to my happiness, I haven't lost  
yet. However, do you know of any techniques I could use to keep that streak  
going?_

_And to the group in general, possibly excluding Beyond, I feel like messing  
with someone's head enough they don't know which way is up. Well, not exactly,  
but you get the idea. Now any tactics I could use?_

_I'd give you gifts, but I think each of you has enough to last for a few...  
months. Except Matt, since you can't every have too many video games. So, to  
compromise... You all get a $800 dollar (or the equivalent in your currency of  
choice) to your favorite store. Think of it as a thank you present for this._

**L: Why yes. Study the topic of which you two are battling for in situations which will give you an advantage.**

Beyond, you're excluded.

**Beyond: M'kay.**

**Near: You could confuse them by telling them something, then later on deny it and suggest that they get their ears checked.**

**Mello: Or you could make up fake logical facts like: Pickels can cure cancer, If you eat glue you live an extra 2 years, or just random crap like that.**

**Matt: Yay!! Thanks!**

**L: Next.**

_Cherryblossom2revenger _**asks:**

_Uh hi guys I have a few questions  
Light: Dude what happened to you? You used to be cool...  
L: Since you eat so much sweets wouldn't you get diabetes?  
Mello:Why do you eat chocolates all the time?  
Matt: What's your opinion on psps?  
Misa: You can get a better guy than Light why are you still chasing after him  
when he's clearly not into you?  
Near: Why ru so cute?  
Beyond: How about I get you a psychiatrist?  
Ryuk: Wont you get trouble with the shinigami king for causing so much  
trouble on earth(ur fault for dropping the death note)  
Ok thats it by the way L I love you, you are so cute *kisses L on the lips  
and runs away like hell*_

**Light: What are you talking about? I'm still cool!**

*cough* NOT!!!! *cough*

**L: Ahh! Don't say that horrid word! You may wind up cursing me! *knocks on wood***

**Mello: Cause it's my precious!**

**Matt: I wouldn't necissarly know for I just got mine and haven't yet played it. **

**Misa: Because I feel that were destined to be together no matter what! Even if he just wants to use me, for I want nothing more that to be useful to Light!**

*cough* obsessed.....

**Near: Because I _am_ cute.**

**Beyond: I've already been sent to one. He wound up running out of the room and was sent to the nut house. I've been there before. But they kicked me out....**

**Ryuk: What he doesn't know won't hurt him. *wink***

**L: Uh....thanks I love you to-- *cut off by kiss***

Now you've had your first kiss on the lips L. Congratulations! ^^

**Light: Dude...Next!**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX _**asks:**

_People keep calling me emo/goth at school, but I'm NOT. What do I do?_

**Mello: Sock them in the face.**

**Matt: *while playing game* Tell them their morons and that you're clearly not.**

**Misa: Depends. Do you _act _a littlekinda emo/gothish? And if so, try acting less emo/gothish.**

Sadly, I have the same problem but with my mom. She thinks I'm goth, even though I'm not! I just try to ignore it or set my mom straight. (In a polite way. She's my mom for heavan sakes!)

Thanks for the reviews guys! Can't wait to answer more advice & questions. (If you have any) Go ahead Ryuk!

**Ryuk: Don't forget to review and see you next time!**

Good job Ryuk! Here's an apple!

**Ryuk: OMG! An apple! ^^**

* * *

**Me without reviews is like Ryuk without apples! The world will end!!**

**~Lia **


	10. Ninjas or Pirates and Making a game last

Well I am in such a happy mood today! My grouch of a teacher finally stopped eating children and destroying their dreams and finally gave me an A in english! :D

**Ryuk: Doesn't that mean you have straight A's?**

Why yes it does Ryuk! So now it seems that I am back in the running to be L's successor!

**Matt: *While playing new PSP* You're still #24 at Wammy's.**

Well crap. Thanks for ruining my happy mood Matt! I thought we were friends.....*tear*

**L: You're only 21 people away from being behind Matt, Mello, and Near.**

I have such a long ways to go. D:

But enough with my ,now tragic, news. Advice time!

_LadyWillowtree _**asks:**

_Awesome answers L, Mello, and Matt!  
And I'm glad you all liked your presents!  
Any on with my question for everyone, the on going debate, Pirates vs.  
Ninja's, who wins in the end?  
Also...  
What do you want for the Holidays? (I know it's no where close, but It'll  
give me an idea of what I can give you!)  
And know, Respones and presents! For a present, you all get to go on your  
dream vacation, where ever it may be!  
L: No, there are no new Hershey's kisses. I don't know if I'm supposed to  
apologize for this fact...  
Mello: I know how big it is, I had to carry it back from God knows where!  
(Glad you like it though and thanks for the hug!)  
Matt: Maybe they'll come out with some new games soon! Thanks for all the  
hugs!  
Near: Of course they rock, why would I buy you something uncool?  
Beyond: I'll tell you could get tired of Jam...People who don't like Jam  
(aka, CRAZY people!) But glad you like my gift :)  
Light: Sorry you only got a hand shake, but you have to work your way back up  
in my book after pretty much killing L and basically everyone else...Maybe later  
you'll get a hug if I feel you've redeemed yourself!  
Misa: Love, love, love your nickname for Light, WILL use it!  
Ryuk: I know, Apples are amazing!  
Author: :) Glad you love your Mountain Dew! Love you too, but not in the  
mushy way :)  
Okay, Peace out!  
Willow!_

**Mello, L, Matt: I know right?**

**Misa: Well I love me some Ninjas! Yum!**

**Beyond: I would say Pirates. Just for the heck of debate.**

**Matt: Pirates. Though I am interested in that new "Mini Ninjas" game. *cough* Christmas Present! *cough***

**L: Ninjas. For me, it's more cultural.**

**Near: Ninjas**

**Light: I say Pirates.**

**Mello: Well my Ninjas would kick your pirates a** Light!**

**Ryuk: I like pirates! "You are a pirate!" ^^**

You've been watching too many of the Death Note abridged series haven't you Ryuk? Well I'm pro Ninjas, but Pirates are close behind!

**L: No need. Well I want 20 boxes of strawberry cheesecake, a new lap top, a bag of lolli-pops, and other sweets you can find.**

**Mello: Welcome. I want 200 lbs of white, dark, and milk chocolate. I also would like a some more leather pants. Whenever I sit, my gun goes off and puts a hole in my pants. :(**

**Matt: Hopefully. And your welcome! **

**Near: I wouldn't mind some more: Transformers, Legos, Robots, Puzzles, Bionicles, Pokemon, Dice, and Dominos.**

**Beyond: You are right. Must I say?**

**Light: I don't know why everyone keeps holding a grudge! All I did was kill the supporting characters, that's all! Redeem myself....Pfft! I would like some potato chips.**

I don't think you deserve any Light. I'm still quite holding that grudge. *whispers* Give him coal, Willow!

**Misa: Who wouldn't love such a cute name? ^^**

**Light: I wouldn--**

**Misa: SHUT UP LIGHT!! **

**Light: O_o**

**Misa: Now then, I would love some new dresses(cause one could never have enough!), a new make-up kit, and a life size Light doll!**

******Ryuk: The worlds biggest apple tree with my name carved into it so no one can steal my apples!**

I'm glad that people like you care for an author like me. It brings a tear to my eye......Okay mushy time over! I want a laptop, more Mtn. Dew, a magical unicorn, Lolli-pops, and a magical rainbow! Next! :)

_Felicia _**asks:**

_Wow I'm alive again_

_ADVICE:_

_Alright I have bunch of *censored* who been harassing me since kidnergarden  
and no matter how many times I tell the counsler it never stops! What should I  
do?_

**Mello: You should tell them to get the f*ck away from you.**

**Misa: Misa-Misa had the same problem, but it was more like people stalking me. How I dealt with it was I gave myself a new look to where they didn't recognize me.**

**L: If you've told the counsler and it still keeps happening, then I would suggest taking this up with the principle and see how he handles the situation.**

**Matt: Sure, if you want to do it the easy way. Next.**

_-Ashleekiryu- _**asks:**

_First of all I want to say hiyaz to everyone :) I love you all!_

_But I do find myself in a bit of a prediciment lately:  
Two weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me :( I was really sad, but I'm  
feeling better about the situation now.  
I am wondering though which of you I would be best suited to in case I ever  
began to date one of you :) Well except you Misa Misa, I love you and all, but  
I don't go for girls. So for you guys to better decide here is just a little  
bit about me..._

_My personality is quite random...but I really am a sweet girl *winks* until I  
get angry...Yeah...You won't like me when I'm angry ;) I practically live on  
my computer, and I'm intelligent (was in the top 10% of my class!)._

_But never fear my favorite friends for I bring presents for you all!_

_For Light-A mirror so that you may admire yourself wherever, whenever.  
For L-An entire strawberry shortcake...all for you!  
For Misa Misa-All the awesome accessories you could ever want.  
For Beyond-A chainsaw!  
For Mello-A brand new pair of leather pants.  
For Matt-A pack of cigarettes!  
For Near-An Optimus Prime action figure.  
For Ryuk-An apple of course! I know how much you love them :3  
For Poizun-More mountain dew! whoo hoo!!_

_I love you guys! If I forgot presents for anyone I apologize...you can get  
yours next time around :P_

_PS: Thanks for answering!_

**All: Hey!**

**Mello: Well I do like a girl who has anger issues like me.**

**L: A smart girl is one of the many qualities I look for.**

**Matt: Another person who obsesses over a computer. Nice. *winks***

**Light: Thank you. I do like looking at myself.**

**L: Yum!**

**Misa: Yay! :D**

**Beyond: Oh yeah! Imagine the trouble I can get into with this....**

**Mello: Thank you, I needed some!**

**Matt: Time to get my smoke on!**

**Near: 0.0 I've been looking for this action figure forever! It's a limited edition you know.**

**Ryuk: Why, you shouldn't have.**

OMG!! You reviewers sooo frickin rock! :D I feel so loved. :3

**Misa: Next!**

_Silvaria _**asks:**

_Alright then. I'll remember that... *jots it down in a NORMAL ( I swear,  
ignore the cover) notebook*  
So... for a report... Remember those friends I talked about? Well, your  
advice worked when I tried it. Hooray! Now, if only they'll leave my nice  
chocolate stash alone, and it'll be fine..._

_I have a few more questions! Misa-Misa, how do you put your outfit together?  
I love the style, but I can't QUITE seem to find any decent clothing like  
that. Know where to start looking? (Hot Topic won't work, though... They're  
filled with things I will not speak the name of.)_

_Matt, I've got a probably weird (Okay, probably not so weird here) question.  
I seem to be speeding through my games rather quickly, even when collecting  
everything. Any idea on how to slow down and make them last? (Seriously, I  
played for half an hour on Assassin's Creed 2 and did a lot of the side  
missions, and STILL finished Memory Strand one...)_

_And Beyond, I have to admit, you scare the sh** outta me. But, I do happen to  
have a question. Know any really inventive torture methods? (...A bit odd,  
no?)_

_*looks at Near* You know, you MIGHT want to watch out for the fangirls. We  
can be nuts sometimes. I wouldn't go THAT far, but it'd be best to hide for a  
few days. Or weeks. And Light, you lost any and all coolness when you did your  
first creepy laugh. And after the incident with Rem._

**L: Uh-huh. I'm afraid that I'll have to restrain you.**

None of that L! We are _not _going to "restrain" any of our reviewers. No matter how suspicious they may be or in what suspicious looking notebook they write notes in....

**Misa: Misa suggests, if you can't find any of my type of clothing, to maybe try looking around at some sort of gothic stores, Rue 21, or some halloween stores that might have clothing for my type of style.**

**Matt: I sometimes find myself having the same problem. So I usually take my time on each level just searching for any objects I can collect. Or I only play a certain game for a certain amount of time to make it last.**

**Beyond: Yes, why ever heard of Chinese Water Torture? One of my favorites actually. Or if that does not suit you: Tie someone to a chair and make them watch Barney, Super glue head phones to someones ears and make them listen to Brittney Spears, or purposely follow someone around while singing repeatedly a Miley Cyrus song. Not really odd, I get that question a lot actually.**

**Near: No need. I've hired an entire S.W.A.T team to ensure that something like that doesn't happen again.**

**Light: *whiny voice* But I like my creepy laugh.....**

**Ryuk: Wow Light.**

**L: Who knew you were so childish Light?**

**Light: This is coming from a guy who's afraid of socks.**

**L: Touche. Next.**

_Hyper Emo Panda **asks:**_

_Hello again. I'm back (It seems my life is a hell of a lot messed up Lawl)  
Anyways, friends are friends again but a few of them are annoying me  
because I love Japan. To be precise Manga, Anime, Lolita-According to one I  
'Sweat over japan'. Angry face :(  
Anyways, what should I do?  
PS. YuzukiraBirthday, not being rude and such, but I saw that pic up close on  
the TV at midnight. :S  
Beyond-Your screwed, you have a daughter! To lessen the pain have a knife  
sharpener (:_

**Light: What difference does it make if you love Japan? Who wouldn't love such a place where the awesomest show was created? (DEATH NOTE)**

**Near: A simple solution would be to just ignore their nuisances ways. That's what I did when Mello tried to get a emotion out of me. But it was quite funny when Mello got pissed off when he finally realized I was ignoring him.**

**Matt: I would tell them to just bug off.**

**Beyond: Thanks. *starts cutting self***

**Mello: *Sticks tongue out at Near* Next.**

_Liz Yeriod **asks:**_

_Thanks for the advice Light, it was very beneficial. I was interested in what  
the response was going to be and I am surprised by how skillfully you gave  
advice. There was a group of people that I joined instead by following your  
advice and they were not only interested in the world condition but also in a  
side conversation mentioned Death Note as a cartoon (although I would not use  
that word to describe it) they enjoy._

_This time in leaving a response I have a question for Ryuk. Why do you like  
red apples? I have always found the sour taste of green apples to be much more  
enjoyable._

_Thanks for reading. :)_

**Light: Well I'm glad that my advice was helpful for such a case like yours.**

**Ryuk: I perfer red apples because I like the juicyness of them over green apples. There just too sour for my sort of taste.**

Really? I perfer green apples too Ryuk.

**Ryuk: Yep. Next!**

_Chocolate-AlbinoCreamPuff _**asks:**

_Hello once again! ^^  
L, I have a challenge for you! Put a piece of cake on Near's head and see how  
long you can go without eating it!_

_Ms. author, can you use your author powers on reviewers? Ack! Don't test them  
on me!_

_Beyond, don't you hate psychiatrists?? I had two: one in fourth grade and one  
in fifth. (I was a messed up kid...) they would ask all these stupid questions  
and I would glare at them, refusing to speak to them._

_Matt, if you had to choose between Nintendo and Microsoft (they should stick  
to computers; no games for them!)who would it be? I myself am solely loyal to  
Nintendo (though I won't turn down a game of Halo...)_

_MELLO YELLOW JELLO WHO PLAYS A CELLO~! There's a lot of things that rhyme  
with your name..._

_*sighs sadly* as I realize you hate to be attacked by rabid fangirls, I will  
respect your wishes and NOT tear you to shreds Near. *calls in helicopter*  
Instead, you get to build a LEGO MOUNTAIN!!_

_Light, what's with your potato chip fetish? They're the only chips I'll eat,  
cause I'm weird, but really?_

**L: Piece of cake. (pun intended) *places cake on top of Near's head* *stares at cake and starts drooling***

Why yes I can young reviewer! *evil face*

**Beyond: Yes. They always try to get me to talk about my "feelings". I finally just told them that I "feel" like stabbing them. Then they ran off.**

**Matt: I also am loyal to the Nintendo for I have known it longer than the computer.**

**Mello: Sadly, yes. Poizun calls me a, "Mello Yellow Fellow eating Jello with a Pillow". **

**Near: *With cake still on top of head and L looking hungry* I'm glad that you respect my wishes, cause that last fan-girl attack was a nightmare. 0_0 I do adore my fan-girls but now I roam the streets with a S.W.A.T. team surrounding me. Thank you, I've always wanted a lego mountain.**

**Light: Cause I love potato chips. And it's fun to eat them epically.**

*cough* stupidly! *cough* OMG! L! STOP BITING NEAR'S HEAD!!!!

**L: Mmph? **

Bad L! *sprays water at L* You do not bite the head of one of your successor's! Go to your room without anymore desserts!

**Beyond: Ha ha, L just got told! Next!**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX _**asks:**

_That was helpful. Especially you, Mello and Matt. Yeah, so here are your  
prizes. Mello, you get those 1 pound chocolate bars they hand out at __Hershey  
Park. Matt, you get Call Of Duty-Modern Warfare 2 and Left 4 Dead 2. L gets  
cake because he's just that cool. Misa gets punched. And Light, just go die.  
AGAIN! Oh, Ryuk. You get some apples...AGAIN! BB! Can I has hug? o.o Here's lots  
of strawberry jam. I wasn't sure what brand you like, so I bought like... ten  
of each. :) No, Misa. I do not act emo. Apparently I look sad, though. 0.0 ok.  
I have a few questions, so just bear with me._

_1. Why is Misa so annoying and stupid? I mean, honestly. She dresses very  
cool and stuff, but Eh! She was semi cool when she was drunk, though._

_2. Mello, are you a pyro. I am a big fan of the explosion, though it hurt  
you. But the scars are becoming on you. :)_

_I guess this is it. 0.o Ok. You rock, so update soon! This makes me laugh so  
much and I appreciate the advice. My mom thinks I am Emo too. Mello and Matt's  
advice doesn't work unless I want to be grounded further. Ok. BYES EVERYONE!_

**Mello: *devours chocolate whole* Thanks.**

**Matt: I've been wanting these games forever! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**L: Yes I am. *Eats cake***

Didn't I say no more sweets!?!

**Misa: *gets punched* OWWWW!**

**Light: I'd like to see you make me!**

**Ryuk: My favorite!**

**Beyond: Okay. *hugs* As long as it's strawberry jam then I'm alright!**

**Near: Because she has ADHD, OCD, and SAS(Stupid Annoying Sydrome). Does that answer you question?**

**Mello: If you mean someone who likes to set things on fire, then yes. **

Okay XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX, I hope you don't mind but I would like to use you to show Chocolate-AlbinoCreamPuff that I can use my author powers on reviewers. Here I go! *Uses author powers to send you to Japan to meet your favorite Death Note characters* Enjoy! :)

**Misa: Oh, oh, oh! Can I do it this time Poizun?**

Uh, sure Misa.

**Misa: Okay. Thanks for the next time. And join us for the reviews!**

Other way around Misa....

* * *

**Hooray! It's my tenth chapter!! I am so amazed at how my chapters keep getting longer thanks to you reviewers. ;)**

**I'd also like to inform you all that I have gotten bored lately so I decided to check out all of your own stories that you've posted. All of which are simply awesome! Who knew I had such talented reviewers? Sadly though, I haven't had much time on my hands so I haven't reviewed** **to everyone's stories, but plan on doing as such!**

**One last thing, I would very much appreciate it if you guys checked out "Death Note:Alternate Note" by Undercover92. It's a very interesting story about Beyond having a Death Note. So check it out!**

**Well got to go! :)**

**Me without reviews is like Light without a mirror! The world will end!!!**

**~Lia**


	11. How to castrate someone

**Okay, I take absolutly NO credit for this! All credit goes to ****xElementFivex ****. If you want, you can go read her version of this since it was her original idea anyway and also cause it's just plain awesome! =) So go read her fic: "Fangirls and Handcuffs".  
**

* * *

**L: Okay everyone. Time to get this meeting started. Now I've called you all here to discuss a certain kind of advice we shoul--**

**Matt: *runs into room* Sorry I'm late guys! I got stuck in a traffic jam of fangirls. *shudders***

**Mello: Oh, hey Matt. Uh did you.....by any chance, see the sign...we uh posted on the door on your way in?**

**Matt: Nope. Hold on, let me go read it real quick. *walks out of room***

**Light: Shesh! There's a reason _why _we made the sign!**

**Matt: *comes back into room* Okay so it says "Main Characters Only", what does that have to do with anything?**

**Near: It's simple Matt. You're _not _a main character.**

**Ryuk: He's right. You're not.**

**Matt: What do you mean? I'm a main character! Look at all the fanfictions written about me!**

**Beyond: Yes, but that's only because everyone feels sorry for your minium show time, epic death, and because the fangirls think you're good looking. Which doesn't make you worthy enough for main characters status.**

**Matt: Yeah but--**

**Misa: Now Matt, we need to get this meeting over and done with so out with you! *shoves Matt out door***

**Matt: *sitting outside of door* This sucks...**

I know! They kicked me out too! Apparently 'just cause I make a fanfiction with me as one of the characters' doesn't actually make mea "Main Character".

**Matt: Ugh, what has brought me to such a state like this! *realization crosses over face* Curse you Tsugumi Ohba!!!!!**

_LadyWillowtree_ **asks:**

_Yes, Ninjas FTW! (Yes Mello, your Ninjas kick Light's Pirates a**'s  
anyday!)_

_Okay my questions are:  
1.) Can I have some hugs? (Incase your wondering about the randomness of  
this, I finished The entire Death Notes series a few day ago, and I was a very  
depresseed little girl!)  
and...  
2.)What do you think your Theme Song is?_

_Present Time (Since I know now know what you want!):  
L: You get one of those HUGE bags of smarites, the kind you don't think  
anyone can ever finish! (Although I have complete Faith in you!)  
Mello: Gift Card to any place that sells leather pants(And possibley a better  
place to keep your gun.)  
Matt: Okay since it seems you own all the games in the universe, can I just  
give you an entire gamestop to yourself?  
Near: You get a whole box of those multi-colored dice, since they just look  
really cool!  
Beyond: Strawberry Jam, (Yummy!)  
Light: That's It? Are you sure you didn't kick some puppies while you were at  
it? You get some travle sized hair gel (THE SMALLEST ONE I CAN FIND!), since  
I'm so kind!  
Misa: Yeah, you yell at Light Misa! I'm going to give you a new make up kit,  
(Because he thought of a giant Knighty-Light doll scares me a little!)  
Ryuk: Apples, and some sticker that say "Ryuk's Apples, Don't Touch, I have a  
Death Note!"  
Author: Before I give you your present, I want to Thank you for all support  
on my story!  
For you, I give you a magical Unicorn (He sings and dances, or something like  
that!)  
Willow!_

**Mello: Boo yah! Put that in your juice box and suck it Light!!!**

**Light: Um...okay....Mello.**

**All: Sure. *Hugs* **

**L: I know how depressing the ending is. But atleast you get to see me in ghost form looking at Light's pathetic corpse. I would have to say that my "theme song" is "I'll be waiting". I believe it fits me. Yum! Thank you.**

**Mello: It would have to be "Don't Jump". Thank you. And yes, I do need to find a better place for it...**

**Matt: "Game on". And yes, I've always wanted to own my very own Gamestop! :D**

**Near: Thank you, I do perfer colored dice over those bland black and white ones.. "Silent Raven" I would say.**

**Beyond: *eats jam* My stomach is satisfied. "Dead Cell", it describes how I felt while rotting in that sh*tty jail cell.**

**Light: Maybe I did! What are you going to do about it!? "Murderous Mindstate" if you must know. Gee....thanks...**

**Misa: Yay! ^^ I'm not really sure. But it would probably be something upbeat and happy!**

**Ryuk: Yes! Apples!!! I can't think of a theme song. Unless there's one about an awesome shinigami named Ryuk.**

You are most certainly welcome meh friend! ZOMFG! A magical singing/dancing/something like that, unicorn!!!

**Matt: Okay then....Next.**

_TheEvilMuffinToaster _**asks:**

_Alright, I wonder, what would be the best way to castrate someone? There's  
been this manb!tch that's been harrassing my friends and had the gail to ask  
me and Rebecca out on the same day. Which would be the most affective? A wooden  
Spork? A Wooden Fork? A Wooden Spoon? Or fishing line?_

_And is it considered flirting when a person of the oppisite sex pokes you  
with a pen?_

_And to Light...THERE'S A SPIDER IN YOUR MAN-SWEATER! (Men don't wear  
sweaters, it's creepy when they express it as such...)_

**Beyond: I've always believed in the powers of a fishing line.**

**Misa: Misa-Misa picks the wooden spork!!**

**Near: I do agree with Beyond, for once, a fishing line would work perfectly.**

**Light: Yeah, but have you made someone kill themselves with a wooden fork? Very effective.**

**Ryuk: It would be interesting to see you kill him with a spork.**

**Matt: Wooden fork.**

**L: I'd go for the wooden fork too.**

**Mello: Fishing line!! Like to see how his plays out.....**

**Misa: Depends, did he poke you hard or softly?**

**Light: Oh my god!! Get it out! Get it out!!!**

This is just like watching an accident.... *starts to eat popcorn*

**Light: Not funny! Now my man-sweaters all wrinkled! Ugh...next.**

_Black Alice Butterfly _**asks:**

_Hewwo! * waves* This is the infamous Alice.  
now...some advice pwease?  
Light: How the hell do you play the scary music while you're eating a __potato  
chip?  
L: ...I know this is a question, but um. Have you ever gotten so annoyed at  
somebody that you are tempted to cause their death with a giant pocky stick?  
Misa: I haven't been able to find your awesome gothic dresses in Hot Topic!  
they say they don't sell them anymore...can I borrow some?  
Matt: Which is better? Final Fantasy 7 or Kingdom of Hearts?  
Mello: Try putting the safety on your gun...and: (gives you indestructable  
leather pants) oh, and did you, by any chance, have taken my black Ipod? I  
found butter yellow hairs at the scene...  
L again: * puppy eyes* can I have a hug?_

Cool, cool my name is Alice too! Well actually it's Alicelia, but there's still Alice in there. Anywho....

**Light: Simple really, I hired an orchestra to play certain music at certain times. Makes the scene seem dramatic, No?**

**L: Why yes, and that certain person has a high tolerance for himself and obsesses with his gay looks. *Points at Light***

**Misa: Really? Well here in Japan they still have quite a few. Why or course!! Which ones would you like? I have thousands!**

**Matt: Final Fantasy 7 most definatly!**

**Mello: I would, but where's the fun in that? *Takes pants* Uh......no. It was Near! He framed me that b**tard!**

**Near: What? Why would I take a I-pod? I have little to no interest in music except for certain specific songs.**

Mello?.....

**Mello: What? I didn't take it...... *looks around***

**L: Sure. *Hugs* And do you mind if I investigate the crime scene?**

**Ryuk: Next!**

_Banished Fire Princess Felicia _**asks:**

_Okay and what about this *holds up report card* before the end of first  
quarter the teachers said I had two C-'s and now I got two D+'s I feel like I'm  
being cheated in my grades..._

**Ryuk: Wow, epic fail.....**

**Matt: I would say that you are being cheated out of grades you very much deserve.**

**Light: How about hiring a tutor? That might help.**

**Near: Yes....it just might. Next.**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX _**asks:**

_I am happy you guys like my gifts! Well, MOST of you do. No, I don't mind. :)  
ZOMFG! That's kewl, though. Your author powers rock my hypothetical socks!  
This makes my day. Or rather, week kinda. 0.o I love these so much, so I will  
go right to the questions. I am writing this at 2:32 am, so please forgive any  
weirdness and the ten-thousand questions. 0.o _

_1. BB, do you hate Naomi Misora? I do. Really bad! I didn't think it was  
right that she arrested you. You should have been taken to a hospital instead  
of handcuffed. :( Blegh._

_2. Near, why do you ALWAYS wear pj's? Have you ever worn, like... pants and a  
shirt?_

_3. Misa, why do you dress so gothic? Your style is awesome gothic lolita, but  
you act very preppy, so it doesn't match very well. 0.o_

_4. Light, (do you regret killing anyone? Like... L... involuntarily Mello...  
Takada. Making Misa commit suicide?)_

_Thank you, and now presents for the author for my awesome vacation! Mountain Dew and FMA and DN manga! Whewt! Update's would be beautiful and bring be  
great joy to me and many others, so... update pweeze?_

**All: You are forgived. We know how some people can be at 2:00 am...... *Looks at Lia* **

What?!?!

**Beyond: Yes, beyond reason. She is the reason that I rot in jail and get killed by Kira....**

**Near: I feel that pj's suit me very well. No I have not, though many have tried to force me to......... *Looks at Mello***

**Misa: Because I like the gothic line of clothing! Such cute dresses and outfits! What do you mean it doesn't match very well!? I think I look cute!! :3**

**Light: Uh......not really. They all pretty much deserved it. Especially L! **

**L: I hear that.**

**Light: Oh crap....**

Thank you XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX! Especially for the manga's! :) I'm glad that you enjoyed your ever so needed vacation!

Okay well I'm going to make poor Matty feel special inside because of his none main characterness. So, Matt? Will you do the honors?

**Matt: Okay I guess. Thanks for the reviews and gifts. And join us next time.**

* * *

**Me without reviews is like Matt without a cigarette! The world ends!!**

**~Lia**


	12. Siblings and Bullies

Wow guys! Sooo many reviews! I believe that this is the most I've gotten for one chapter. I'm so happy I think I'll do a jig! ^^ Okay jig over.

**L: She is right. We usually only get about 6 but we got......9!**

Yay! New record!

**Mello: Oh joy.**

We must celebrate! Here's some chocolate for you Mello.

**Mello: Oh joy!!**

And presents for all the cast! Enjoy!

**All: Yay!**

**_Advice time:_**

_TheEvilMuffinToaster _**asks:**

_As to answer Misa: Hard, He does it everyday XD_

_More advice needed from you...um...How can I say this without busting up  
laughing. Whatver XD_

_I am looking for a way to prank my dad. He rigged the water pressure of our  
shower to be on super fast mode once turned on yeseterday right before I got  
in the shower because I had called him fat XD and to let you know, it was the  
most uncomfortable shower I have ever taken (I had to take some weird therapy  
that had to do with water and showers and baths because of some bad burns on  
my legs) and now I am wondering in how to get revenge. XD_

_L, are your Kira-senses tingling?_

**Misa: Then he probably likes you! *winks***

**Mello: Perfect! I need to write that one down...**

**Light: You should fill his shampoo with white hair dye so when he comes out of the shower, he has a full head of white hair. Then you can crack some old jokes too.**

Or you can do what I did to my dad! I hid under his bed like all day until he went into his room and walked by me so I grabbed his ankle and he screamed like a girl. xD Good times...

**L: Why yes they are. Which means that Kira is here somewhere.......**

**Ryuk: Uh...okay. Next!**

_LadyWillowtree **asks:**_

_Awesome songs you guys! If you care, mine changes daily...  
Anyway, Thanks for the Hugs! Made me feel better :)  
Time for questions!  
1.) Who sucks the most: Miley Cyrus (XP) Or Jonas Brother (DX) (Sorry to  
anyone who actually likes these people...I just REALLY hate them both)  
and  
2.) You're stuck on a Island, what is the one thing you can bring with you?  
L: Your ghost rocked! It made me smile to see you again (sorry about the fan  
girling...) Candy for you!  
Mello: A big box of chocolate for you! Would you mind sharing some of it  
with me though? It's been forever since I had some chocolate, sad to say!  
Matt: Okay so you got a game stop last time...and I'm not getting you smoking  
related (execpt some nicotine patches...) WHY ARE YOU SO HARD TO GET STUFF  
FOR!?!? Okay, so you get some...Mini Ninja Games? Sure, thet us go with  
that!  
Near: I know, they're amazing! So, today you get some Transformers!  
Beyond: Sorry about the whole "Jail" thing (Stupid People!) You get even more  
Strawberry Jam!  
Light: Don't test a fan-girl Light! And what am I going to about it? Lia  
and I are 'Tight like Mello's pants' (love you Mello!) I'm pretty sure I could  
convice her to use her Author Powers! (Right, Lia?)  
Misa: I was looking around, and I saw these awesome dresses that I think  
you'd like, so you get those!! (They're black and Red, very you!)  
Ryuk: There is actually a song by Tom Smith, called Bad Horse, Death Note,  
all about you, Light and L. Does that count? (It's on Youtube if you want to  
look it up!)  
Lia: Glad you like the unicorn! Hope he doesn't bite (anyone besides  
Light!)  
Hugs,  
Willow!_

**All: MILEY CYRUS!! **

**L: My beloved laptop and a stash of sweets.**

**Mello: Ugh. Sure. I would bring my gigantic stash of chocolate and gun just for the heck of it.**

**Matt: Yes! Finally! I've been waiting for this game for like EVER! I most defiantly bring my PSP and and a giant pack of batteries.**

**Near: Thank you. I could not go without my toy robots.**

**Beyond: My knife. You never know what may happen. Or what some might do out of boredom....**

**Light: Yeah whatever. And I would bring my hairspray, can't live without it.**

Yes we are and I most defiantly would Light. :)

**Light: Aw sh*t.**

**Misa: Misa-Misa is happy! I'd take my Light doll, my make-up kit, 20 of my favorite dresses--**

Good luck fitting all that on an island.

**Ryuk: I guess it could. Why what else but my new apple tree!?**

Well I'm glad that you're glad that I'm glad that I like my new unicorn! Oh Liiiggghhhttt!

**Near: This should be interesting. Next.**

_Felicia Lawliet _**asks:**

_..._

_Alright, I'm housing a foriegn exchange student from Japan, and he's gonna be  
like my older brother but seeing I'm an ony child who has NO EXPERIANCE WITH  
SIBLINGS what so ever...how can I resolve this?_

**Near: Even though you've never had any "experience" with siblings show some hospitality and start some stimulating conversations to lighten the mood.**

**Beyond: And if you don't kill eachother like real siblings do, then maybe you could be friends.**

**Mello: Friends my *ss. Next.**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX _**asks:**

_Ahh. The wee hours of the morning are the best. I am going to re-watch the  
series in subbed, and wanted a hug from Matt, L, and Mello, cause I was going  
through a list of the Death Note characters, and well... You guys are my fave  
from the anime/manga. :) ONWARD TOWARD DA QUESTIONS!_

_1. What would you all be for Halloween?_

_2. Matt, what is your fave video game system?_

_3. Mello, do you prefer regular Hershey's chocolate, or fancy schmancy  
expensive European chocolate?_

_4. L, does ever single child at Wammy's have an... uh... I'll call it an  
obsession, with something? EX-MelloxChocolate MattxVideo games & cigarettes._

_5. What do you guys want for Christmas?(Includes author!:)) (pretend as  
though Santa will buy you something, because more than half of you were very  
naughty children... Adult... things... yeah._

_6. Last question. Does anyone have any advice on getting Un-grounded or  
breaking out? Something, ANYTHING! I am very desperate!_

_Thankies! :) I am glad you liked the manga! Aww! Yesh, the vacation was  
beautiful. I love this fanfic so much, so udate soon? :3 Poor Matt! I'm  
sorry you were left out! :( You are a main character in my heart and mind! Me  
and my cousin just fought over whether or not you were. 0.o I WON! :) HIGH  
FIVE! :D _

**L, Matt, and Mello: *Hugs***

**Matt: So far, the PS3. Probably an Umpalumpa like I usually am. :/ **

**Mello: Willy Wonka most defiantly. It's hard to choose....but I would have to say the classic Hershey's.**

**L: I'd go as the best known detective. Me. Only a few, but I look at that as a unique yet ironic thing.**

**Misa: I'd be a fashion diva-fairy-princess-angel! :D**

**Light: I don't celebrate such a kiddish holiday.**

**Ryuk: An apple!!**

**Near: Well since Lia isn't forcing me to dress up, I rather not dress up but only consume the treats recieved.**

**Beyond: That dude from "Scream" or Jason. And some strawberry jam would be nice.**

**Ryuk: Another apple tree cause you can never have too many! ^^**

**Light: I do need some more hairspray for I am running out.**

**Misa: One could never have too many dresses!**

**Mello: The deluxe edition of "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory" and Chocolate of course.**

**L: A gift card to a deli store would sure suit me.**

I would like more Mountain Dew, more manga's (Luv them!), and a new phone cause mine broke. :/

**Near: Any type of toy that seems fit for me.**

Let me handle this for I have been in this kind of situtation before my friend. Be the BIGGEST suck up ever and frequently ask your parents if they need anything. If anything else, tell them you're truely sorry for whatever you got yourself in.

**Matt: Well let's see here....I do need more Cigs and any old computer games you may have. *High fives* Next!**

_Cherryblossom2revenger _**asks:**

_Hello *waves* I have a few questions...  
Light: Don't you have any respect for women? Because you use them and then  
throw them away like trash seriously thats so not cool...*glare*  
Matt: Dude you died so quickly aren't you **?  
Mello: Do you like snickers?  
Misa: Are you dead? I mean like at the end it doesn't show what happened to  
you but someone said you committed suicide after kira died.  
Beyond: Do you eat jam with peanut butter, just wondering.  
Near: Were you sad that L died?  
Ryuk: You are so sadistic dude seriously you kill Light in the end good job!  
L: What happened to your parents??  
ok I need advice for something my friend really likes yaoi and I don't because  
I'm sort of religious...She keeps trying to convince me to read some so how do  
I tell her off nicely...nicely Beyond not anything violent she's my friend ok.  
Thats it, bye guys._

**Light: Yeah pretty much. Get in line.**

Someone's grouchy....

**Matt: Yes, extremly. I am currently having a law suit drawn for Tsugumi Ohba.**

**Mello: There okay but I perfer regular chocolates.**

**Misa: I did. I just didn't see the point in living without my Light-ning bug.**

**Beyond: Nah. Just regular Jam.**

**Near: Sad, yes. For he was my role model as you would say.**

**Ryuk: I just did what Shinigami's do best.**

**L: I never knew my father and my mother past away when I was about 8 years old.**

**Beyond: Fine. Well I would just say that you'd rather not cause it goes against your religion. Or something along those lines.**

**Matt: Or you could tell her that they just don't suit your interest.**

**L: Very well put Matt. Next.**

_Duncanandme4ever _**asks:**

_Hey I got a few questions for the DN cast!  
BB: Why did u chose to be a serial killer? (dont kill me!)  
Light: I worship Kira! You are awesome can I join your team? Me got Death Note!  
*kills Matsuda* Oh crap  
Misa: My friend cosplays you alot any good cosplay advice?  
L: How do you burn calories with your brain? Can you teach me?  
Mello: OHMYGOD I love you soo much! Would you consider dating a girl like me? And  
can I join your Mafia?  
Matt: My best friend loves you so much she has fantisy's about you (weird I know)  
what kind of cigarettes do u smoke? (JW I'm not a smoker lol)  
Near: U are amazing! How come your so smart? I'm jealous!  
Ryuk: Why do u love apples so much? *tosses apple*_

**Beyond: Cause I saw that It fit my interest. Killing is actually fun when you do it the right way.**

**Light: Sure. Ha! Matsuda's dead!**

Aww. :(

**Misa: Yes! Misa-Misa suggests that your friend should dye their hair completely blond (if it isn't already) and also to start every sentence with "Misa-Misa" it really brings you're character to life! And she _needs _to have a black choker to really pull it off!**

**L: Easy really. Put your mind through many strategic excersises everyday and the calories will just disappear. Not really something I can teach, but something I can give advice on.**

**Mello: Maybe, probably. Do you happen to have a picture of you!? I don't know....you need specific requirements to join my Mafia.**

**Matt: Yeaahh that's kinda weird. I smoke Peace cigarettes. And yes, they do bring me peace. ;)**

**Near: Because I was born a natural genius. It just runs in the blood.**

**Ryuk: *devours apple* Because their _waaayyy _better than the ones in Mu.**

**Beyond: I'm still sticking with my strawberry jam. Next.**

_Kishi Senmatsu _**asks:**

_OMG HAI DEATH NOTE CHARACTERS =3 _

_EW LIGHT! You can go die. That is my advice to you. Go choke on a potato chip  
or something. Or commit suicide. Either one works. Did you know your last name  
spelled backward is imagay? Yeah, have fun with that._

_MISA! EVEN EWER! My advice to her is the same as Lights. Oh and Light hates  
you and only wants to screw himself, so..._

_OMG ERU-CHAN! I luv you L! I brought you some strawberries, but I ate most of  
them, so... HERE IS THE JUICE FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG! .. BB: are you a necrophiliac? Cause if you are I might need to stay a few feet away from  
you at all times. o.o_

_MELLO! *EXPLODES* Here is one of those overly large chocolate bars. x3 I have  
a quick question for your on your period, are you any angrier than  
you are usually? That would be scary. Of course, I should know the answer to  
that you are my imaginary friend. =]_

_ZOMG MATT! *DIES* Your my favorite cause you don't get PMSY like Mello. My  
gift to you is the new Left 4 Dead and modern warfare. Of course my i__maginary  
friend Matt needs to suck up to Kelsey to get both of those games. BTW Kelsey  
is XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX =] Okay my question to you is: How many all  
nighters have you pulled in a row?_

_RYUK! eh, I'm kinda excited. Here's an apple thanks to my mom. My question is:  
Do you only eat red apples, or do you like green too?_

_Near. . WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SMARTER THEN MELLO GIVING HIM AN  
INFERIORITY COMPLEX AND MAKING HIM GO ON A SUICIDE MISSION WITH MATT AND  
GETTING HIMSELF AND MATT KILLED AND YOU BE SUCCESFULL?! That is all._

_So, did I miss anyone? Oh and if there is any Takada, I just stabbed her with  
a shovel. The end._

**Light: I perfer not to. Yes I do sadly. **

**Misa: 0_0 Misa-Misa feels hurt.**

**L: Gee thanks. -_-;**

**Beyond: Why yes I am. Does that scare you?**

**Mello: Yay! 0__0 *yells* WHAT!?!?!**

**Matt: *tackles Mello* Don't kill her Mello! She's just a curious reviewer!**

**Mello: I'M GOING TO KILL HER!! I'M GOING TO KIIILLL HER!!**

Quick Matt, throw him into that oddly convenient closet over there!

**Matt: Got it! *throws Mello into closet and puts chains on it* Phew! Now that that's settled, YES! Dear god thank you!! *hugging video games* about 187 nights. But I don't sleep much anyway.**

**Ryuk: I only eat red. Green isn't as juicy as the red ones.**

**Near: Uh...I.....I...don't know.**

Yay! Takada's dead! My prayer's have been answered! ^^

**Light: I didn't need her anymore anyways. Next.**

_Tsori-Iikagen _**asks:**

_I love your fan fic_

_I need advice and got questions for the cast:  
Okay this girl at my school keeps bullying me because I have mangas, watch  
anime and that I'm a disgrace to my race because I'm Hispanic and I "act  
Asian"((what she said)) so how can I make her shut up?_

_Questions Time!:_

_L- How does it feel that you have fan girls that are potentially rapists?_

_Near- Do you have a white fetish? Because you always wear white._

_Sorry that's all I can think of right now  
I'll come with more questions next time!_

Aww thanks! ^^ Oh and Matt, you can take Mello out of the closet now.

**Matt: Ok.**

**Mello: Finally!! Yeesh! *mumbling* I wasn't going to hurt her.... Anyway, get in her face and tell her to back the heck off. It's your life.**

**Misa: Misa-Misa says to tell her that she could never understand the love of anime and manga because she just doesn't get it.**

**Beyond: Kill her.**

**L: I would ignore her insolence for your love of manga and anime. It is quite scary at times but over all I am happy that I have more fangirls than Light.**

**Near: I guess you could say that. I've never thought of it as such for I guess I've never noticed it before.**

**Matt: Never noticed it? Dude, you wear and obsess over white! You even are obsessed with those dominoe which are _white._ Next.**

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_My question is:  
"If Mello was to spend an entire day with Misa-Misa (ugh!), and also without  
chocolate (grins evilly) what would be his final outcome?"  
and also a question for L  
"Suppose you did not end up as a world famous detective what would you be? And  
who would be in your place?"_

Well we'll just have to see now won't we. :)

**Mello: What? Wait where are you taking me? Guys? Guys!!**

We shall see you later Mello. Bye Mello!

**Mello: I'm going to kill her...**

**L: I think I probably would have ended up working at a candy factory or something that involves sweets. I believe that they would have had some unexperienced college graduate doing _my _type of work.**

Okay well we'll see next time the final outcome of Mello's "fun day"! I can't wait! Now Near?

**Near: Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

* * *

**Okay well most of you guys could care less, but it took me about 3 extra days to update because of stupid school and the fact that we have finals next week. :P **

**Hope to see you guys later! ^^**

**~Lia**


	13. A Prank and A Musical!

Well were back and ready to reveal the outcome of Mello's Fun Day!! Yay! Now let him out guys!

**L: *Opens door***

**Mello: *Walks out holding self while shivering***

**Misa: So wasn't that fun Mello? Fun, fun, fun! So remember what I said, you need to get your roots touched up! And your split ends! We'll have to get together some time and do our nails and--**

**Matt: *Trying not to crack up* So....how was it?**

**Mello: *Still shivering* Hor.....horrible. Bu..t...t....I did learn.....how to bring out......my....inn...inn..inner glow. And then.....we rode off on magical........unicorns. *collapses on floor***

**Beyond: I think he's suffering from chocolate withdrawal! Or Misa drove him insane. Hurry, get some chocolate!**

*Hands Mello chocolate* He'll have to sit this first one out. Poor Mel.

**Mello: Oranges bring out your glow!! *Laughs wildly***

**Near: Okay then....**

_Majorfangirl _**asks:**

_Wow, it's been a while! But I'm back my darlings!  
Okay, so I'm in a musical! I'm so excited, but my friends aren't because they  
got minor roles (I tried out for a minor role because I can't act or dance  
worth crap). One of them is lead role in a movie in Canada, but she's still  
depressed because she's not Zaneeta! What do I do, oh epic characters?_

**All: Welcome back!**

**Near: You should tell them that they should be happy because they could have _not _gotten a role. And besides, without one person playing a part there is no show.**

**L: Try and cheer them up by really getting into the play and making practicing for it fun. In the end, after the musical, they'll be going on and on about how much fun it was and how they wish they could do it again.**

**Ryuk: Next!**

_TheEvilMuffinToaster _**asks:**

_Light, was it a complete blow to your pride when Matsuda shot you six times  
and injured you and indirectly caused your death?_

_Lalalalalala, more advice. What would be the best way to prank my teachers  
without suspicion being cast towards myself? I do it every year on the day  
before break starts and it gets harder and harder..._

_Also, is it possible to climb up the walls using sticky jam? (-stares  
accusingly at Beyond-)_

**Light: *pouting* Yes.**

**Misa: One prank you could pull as a class is before the teacher comes into the room, have everyone switch seats so when the teacher calls role, she'll notice that everyone isn't in their appropriate seat. Plus no fingers are pointed towards you!**

**Mello: Here's a simple yet funny one to pull: You need to get atleast 3 of those real looking toy bugs. When the teachers not in the room, put 2 bugs in her seat and one on top of her computer mouse. But make sure that she doesn't notice the bugs before she sits down. To make sure of this, when she's about to sit down, walk up to her and ask her a stupid question or something like that. **

**Beyond: It could be. If you really tried. *evil grin***

**L: Don't go killing our reviewers Beyond. Next.**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX _**asks:**

_Well then. I guess I should start sucking up, like, right now. But it's  
probably best to wait till tomorow, since my mom is sleeping. 0.o Haha  
schweet. My brother is getting the PS3 for Christmas. Maybe I can steal it and  
give you it. ;) Interesting costumes... You have no spirit, Light! Perhaps  
you'd dress up as Kira?!?!=_=  
How is one supposed to receive candy when one certain little albino child  
doesn't dress up?!  
Okay. Merry early Christmas! You all get your presents you said (Except for  
Matt's cigarette request. I refuse to feed the habit.**-_-** No matter how awesome  
you are.)! Even Light and Misa, cause I am feeling VERY generous today.:) A  
few questions._

_1. Light, why did you think out the most simple of things in the anime? I mean,  
I'm pretty sure if L asked you if you wanted some cake, you'd sit there for 10  
minutes thinking of the reasons why he would ask and whether you should or  
not.-_-_

_2.(All) My dad is trying to buy my Christmas gifts, and he just texted my mom  
asking my shoe size. I called and asked him why. He was buying me Ug's. I  
don't like Ug's. Tell me how I can hint at what I want and make sure I won't  
have a closet full of prep._

_3. Is Misa a natural blond? In the live action movies, your hair is brown. Is  
it hinting at something?_

_4.(Light and L) Did you both hate/think Matsu was annoying? Cause it was  
kinda harsh/funny when you said "Matsu's being stupid" and "Oh, again?" or  
something along those lines._

_5.(All) What should I get my brother & sister 4 Christmas? My brother is like  
Matt and my sister is kinda like that, but she also likes underground music  
and odd/old/stupid/European english translated/SCARRY! horror movies. Got any  
ideas?_

**Light: Pfft. Please. They don't have any "Kira" costumes. _Yet_...**

**Near: I am dressed up. Haven't you read "The boy in the striped pajama's"?**

**Light: I don't know what you're talking about. I don't think things through _that _clearly.**

*plays video of everytime he's questioned something simple*

**Light: Crap....maybe I do. I need to see a therapist.....**

**Misa: Misa suggests that if you go shopping with him anytime and go past something you like, that you casually say, "Oh, that's cute" or "I really like that". Or you could slip some magazines that have stuff you want in them (circled) into his car or something like that.**

**Misa: 0___0 I....I....uh, no. YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!**

**Light: I hated him.**

**L: He simply just annoyed me at the very least.**

**Matt: I would get your brother any certain type of game he's been hinting or talking about lately. I suggest that you get him Call of Duty 1-6 or Modern Warfare!**

**Mello: I would personally hunt down any of those odd movies and get them for her. Or you could just get her some of the music she likes.**

**Near: Next.**

_Kishi Senmatsu _**asks:**

_You killed me laughing!_

_OKAY QUESTIONS:_

_(EVERYONE)What is your favorite color?_

_(Matt, Mello, BB and L) Who is your favorite band/singer?_

_(EVERYONE) What is your favorite holiday._

**Matt: Red. My favorite band is X-Japan. Awesome band! Christmas because that's when I get most of my games.**

**Mello: Black. And I would say, Vidoll for sure. Halloween, it's the only time when I get free chocolate.**

**Beyond: Red, for certain reasons. *creepy grin* Nightmare is my favorite band. Halloween!**

**Ryuk: I don't have one really. And Christmas!**

**Light: Brown. Uh....Thanksgiving I guess.**

Well someone's in a peevy mood.

**Near: Gray or White. And I would say Halloween too.**

**Misa: PURPLE!!! And Christmas! Such a wonderful holiday!**

**L: White for it is a neutral color. Dir En Gray, I would say. Halloween because who doesn't like a holiday deticated to sweets?**

**Light: *saracastic tone* I couldn't imagine. Next.**

_Asdfghjkl;_ **asks:**

_Advice needed? Yes I think so._

_I really like one of my best guy friends. And he told my sister that he  
wanted to ask me out. We hang out alot, and I stay the night at his house all  
the time, but we're still both not telling each other how we feel. It's  
awkward and weird and I don't know what to do. Advice?_

**Misa: Misa says that _you _should ask him out. Girls are just as capible at asking a guy out than the other way around. And maybe he's just not sure how to ask you.**

**Beyond: Maybe he's just chicken. You could just sit back and let things happen when they may. He'll probably ask you out eventually.**

Well said Beyond. Who knew you were good at love advice? ;) Next!!

_LadyWillowtree _**asks:**

_I would have to say Jonas Brothers, only because there are THREE of  
them...more to hate!  
Okay, here are my questions!  
1.) Some certain people in my family are really making me feel bad. They  
treat my brother wonderfully , while they treat me like I don't matter. I  
love my brother too, but really? I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn't  
listen! What else can I do? :( I just want everyone to be happy!  
and  
2.)What's your Favorite movie?  
Reponses!  
L:Umm.I don't think they have WiFi on the Island...But OKAY! Here's a  
package of assorted candy!  
Mello: I think you and Beyond picked the best stuff to bring! And for that,  
here is some chocolate! (And Thank you for the Chocolate, by the way! Ima  
going to eat it right after I review!)  
Matt: Yay, I feel so happy you liked your gift! What games would you bring to  
the Island, just curious? (Also, thank you for restraining Mello after the  
whole Man period incident! I actually know Kishi Senmatsu in real life...I  
would have missed her!)  
Near: You are Welcome! Have some more toy robots!  
Beyond: You never know when you might need a knife! So, here is a knife  
sharpener! Go crazy with it! (NOT LITERALY!)  
Light: See what happens when you mess with me Mr. Yagami? And I hope you are  
aware your hairspray would run out if you were on an Island XP  
Misa: Willow is Glad Misa is Happy! Here are some cool hair things!  
Ryuk: Yay, I helped pick a theme song for you, I'm so proud of myself! Enjoy  
some Apples!  
Lia: Yay, your Unicorn is amazing! What's his name? And here is some __BLUE  
Mountain Dew for you! Hope your Finals go well!  
Loves,  
Willow!_

**Near: If you have to, stomp your feet and scream until they pay you attention. Then you can tell them about how you feel left out and such.**

Wait, is it a_ younger _brother? Cause if so, I've had the same experience before. My parents told me it was because (since he's soooo good at playing dumb) he needed 'help' and more attention at the moment which still does't make much sense to me.

**L: Candy, yum! I would have to say,**

**Mello: *takes chocolate* Thanks.**

**Matt: No prob. You know how he can get sometimes.**

**Mello: I don't know what your talking about.**

**Matt: Anyway, I would bring Call of Duty 5, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, God of War: Chains of Olympus, Assasin's Creed, and Dissidia: Final Fantasy.**

**Near: Why thank you. *Starts playing with toys***

**Beyond: Too late. *Starts doing crazy and illegal things with knife sharpener* **

**Light: NOO!!! **

**Misa: Misa love cool hair things!! ^^**

**Ryuk: Why not? *Devours apples***

His name is Sir Alphonsic Jacobs. Or just Saj! YAY! THANKS! I just got done with my first day of finals today and now I'm tired. :P

**Mello: *sarcastic tone* Oh poor thing. Next**

_Jeevas-on-Fire _**asks:**

_Yo, Posizun Apples! Your fic is great! I have a couple of questions for all  
of the characters.  
L: I heard you like Naomi! (giggles)  
Light: I know N's real name ...!  
BB: Suppose you got the Death Note?  
Near: I will give you a box of colorful dice if you capture Aizawa for me.  
Mello: A large bar of chocolate for you and now answer this question:  
A man died because of 1)chocolate deprivation, 2)loss of appetite for games,  
3)Mysterious circumstances  
Ryuk: If you kill a certain man, I will give you a warehouse full of  
apples!!  
And also, L please kick Light in the face. __Jeevas-on-Fire!!_

**L: Yeah...what of it? *blushes***

**Light: REALLY!?! Tell me, tell me! I want to kill that little--**

**L: I take that as a confession.**

**Light: Crap.**

**Beyond: Easy. I would kill, L, Light, Naomi Misora, and anyone else who ever betrayed me or got in my way.**

**Near: For what purposes may I ask?**

**Mello: Thanks. *eats chocolate* for me it would be 1. but for the heck of it, I say number 3.**

**Ryuk: Okay! Who and when??**

**L: Sure thing. *Kicks Light***

**Light: What the *uck!? **

You deserved it and you know it.

**Mello: Yeah really dude. Next.**

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_Another question:  
What would happen to Ryuk if he was locked up with Matt without cigarettes  
and apples. And especially the fact I want to know that would Ryuk end up  
spinning mad or end up as a pretzel as in the anime? And how would Matt  
react?  
By the way, this update is quite nice too!  
Undercover92_

Oh, I love the way you think! *Evil grin* Lock them up!

**Mello and Beyond: Got it! *Locks them up***

**Matt: *muffled voice* You'll pay for this Mello!**

**Mello: Isn't revenge great?**

**Ryuk: *muffled* Light. LIGHT. Liiigggggghhtt! I want an apple!**

**Light: Too bad.**

I wonder if he knows that he can just walk through the door?

**Ryuk: Liiiiiigggghhhtt!**

**Near: Nope.**

Well time to say goodbye! Mello, since your feeling better?

**Mello: Okay. Thanks for the reviews and join us next time for when I kill Undercover82!**

Mello! NO KILLING!

* * *

**Got to study for my other finals tomorrow! Blah. :P**

**Me without reviews is like Beyond without jam! The world will end!!**

**~Lia**


	14. Anime Amateurs and a Moody Matt

Okay before we get started, I would like to bring out a old friend. MIKAMI!!

**Mikami: Uh hi. Again...**

Yay! Okay now guys, let's see how Matt and Ryuk did! *lets them out*

**Ryuk: *Twisted up like a pretzel* Apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple, apple.**

**Light: Here you are Ryuk. *tosses apple***

**Ryuk: APPLE!!! *Devours whole***

**Matt: *Twitching* **

Uh Matt, are you okay?

**Matt: .....**

**Mello: Matt?**

**Matt: *mumbles something***

**L: What?**

**Matt: *Pulls out gun* I said, give me a freakin cigarette!!**

**Mello: 0.0 Chill Matt. Here, take it! *gives it to him cautiously***

**Matt: *Snatches it and starts smoking* Now I'm going to go smoke and play my game. Do not disturb unless there's a question, or I'll shoot you repeatedly until you won't be able to be identified. Got it!?**

**All: *Shakes heads slowly* **

**Matt: Good. *Locks self in room***

**Mikami: Maybe today wasn't such a good day to be a guest. 0.0**

**Beyond: He makes you seem tamed Mello.**

_WordsOfLovex _**asks:**

_Haha! I love this collum thingy!  
Heres a question:_

_I have been a hardcore-competitive dancer for atleast 10 years now. My friend  
started to take some interest in dance, now that she's seen my recital. I was  
assisting her dance class and found that she is horrible. And she's thinking  
that she's the best in her class. I just want to break it to her easy and say  
that she's not the best and I want her to know the truth. What should I do?_

_P.S. I LOVE YOU MELLO YELLOW! :D_

**L: I wouldn't necessarily tell her straight to her face that she sucks. I would tell her that it takes a _lot _of practice to truely become the best.**

**Mello: Or you could tell her that she sucks. But put it gently. And I must love all you fans if I put up with all this fan-girling. *smiles***

**Near: How can you put "you suck" gently Mello? Next.**

_Black Alice Butterfly _**_asks:  
_**

_-skips MERRILY in- 'Allo! it's the awesomely insane Alice!  
...more advice, peeps!  
Light: Ok really...what hair product do you use to make your hair all awesome  
like that? I mean honestly! ...-sudden thought strikes- wait, don't tell me  
you use Victoria Secret shampoo & conditioner...  
L, in answer to his question: Yes please! I'm still trying to find it.. GOD  
DAMN YOU MELLO!  
Mello: Was it very uncomfortable to be spongebob swearpants when you were 12?  
-is blunt-  
Mello again: If you had to choose, would you pick being first in line to L or  
be Willy Wonka?  
Beyond: Who do you want to tourture next in DN? Oh yeah, and this is a fun  
thing to use while stabbing people: sharp, pointy, on-fire, striped Candles.  
-gives you a caseful- and some jam...-gives you another caseful-  
hm...oh yeah! And I want to prank a friend using something with his hair. Can  
all of you tell me what I should do? ( And said friend has super duper long hair)_

**Light: So what if I do...**

**Mikami: Don't worry God. Your hair looks ravishing!**

**Light: Uh...thanks?**

**L: Well then, I'll go investigate the scene and find the culprit.**

**Mello: Yes it was. Willy Wonka, he's my hero!!**

**Beyond: Probably Light. I still hold a grudge for killing me. Never thought of it before, but I guess your right! They most certainly are. *puts candles and jam in safe place***

**Ryuk: How about dying it pink? **

**Near: Or you could tie his air in several knots and see him try and get those out.**

**Misa: Oh the split ends he would have then! Next!**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX **asks:**_

_Hey hey hey! I would agree with that Light. You DO need a therapist. You are  
one sick puppy! :p No, Near I have never read that book. 0.o Although, they  
might think you're a cosplayer. :) Mk. He already has modern warfare and modern  
warfare 2. Curse my sister and her ability to have a job and car! =_= Good  
advice! I think I'll stick to the movies, since her music is particularly  
hard. 0.o I need some advice, terribly!_

_I procrastinate. A LOT, and I can't bring myself to do much, such as my  
Neptune project I should be working on right now. (Don't worry, though. I am  
almost done with it. :)) I need to know how I can buckle down and do the stuff that  
is needed of me! Maybe some ideas on how to motivate myself? :( Thankies!_

_Question time! *Does question dance*_

_1.(Everyone) What's your favorite music genre?_

_2. (Matt) Which is better? X-Box 360 or the Playstation 3? (Based and games  
and quality and stuff. 0.o)_

_3. (Mello) *Hands blanket* I am so sorry. :( Misa is terrible, isn't she?  
Where can I get some aweshome rosary like yours? It's pimpin. :)_

_4. (Ryuk) Have you been eating my apples? They're almost all gone, my sister  
doesn't like em, and no one else has eaten them. -_-_

_5. (Beyond) Would you shank me if I asked for a hug? 0.o If not, hug. What is  
your weapon of choice?_

**Light: Says who? Anything with a smooth steady beat.**

**L: How about using sweets as motivation? A big treat for finishing the project early. They sure motivate me. I would say J-Pop but sometimes I like more mellower music to relax me.**

**Misa: Misa suggests you take a alarm clock and set it to go off every 5 min. So if you get off track the alarm should snap you back to what you were doing! Misa's favorite music genre is Pop!**

*Knocks cautiously on door* Uh Matt, someone has a question for you.

**Matt: *Opens door* Okay, what is it? Most certainly the Playstation 3. It has much better graphics and is more advanced than an X-box. Probably alternative rock. *Closes door***

**Mello: Yes she most certainly is! But I'm more afraid of Matt as of the moment.... Well I got mine from my mother but you can get one at, Familyrosary dot com , That's where she supposedly got it. Uh...Heavy Metal. **

**Near: Something mellow.**

**Ryuk: Well they were out in the open, and nobody was home at the time. So I just helped myself. I don't listen to music much.**

**Beyond: I probably would.**

*Hits him over head*

**Beyond: *rubbing head* Okay, I won't. *Hugs* Probably the knife. Old, yet you can choose from many techniques. And some Punk.**

**Mikami: Techniques I rather not know about. What God said! Next.**

_LadyWillowtree **asks:**_

_Thanks for the advice. Yes he is a YOUNGER brother.  
And you want to know something that kinda freaked me out? I call my brother  
Near all the time (He acts so much like you Near, it's scary! Not in a bad way  
though!) And Near answerd it. O.O  
Okay, now on with my questions:  
1.)Who's your idol? ( And it can't be yourself!)  
2.)Green or White Christmas?  
and  
3.)What will you be doing for the Holidays this Year?  
And Present time! It's going to be different today, I made everyone  
COOKIES!  
L: You have sugar cookies, with little candy bits sprinkled on them.  
(Huggles)  
Mello: Some Chocolate cookies with White chocolate chips. Also, I'm sorry  
about the whole Misa thing! If you ever want an accomplence, I'm ready and  
willing! (Hugs!)  
Matt: Gingerbread cookies made to look like Video Game Characters (Mario,  
Sonic, etc.) I know how Mello gets, but that's what makes him Mello! And We  
love him just the way he is! A LOT OF HUGS FOR YOU!  
Near: You're cookies are decorated to look like Dice! Yay Dice!  
Beyond: Short bread cookies with strawberry jam in the center (You're fancy  
aren't you?) You having fun with that knife sharpener?  
Light: Yes, it will! Okay, here's the deal, it's supposed to be the season  
of giving, so I'm going to try to be nice to you. Have some Oatmeal Cookies.  
Misa: You get Ginger snaps! And yes, cool hair things are cool!  
Ryuk: Apple cookies for you! I know, Apples and Cookies MIXED. It's  
amazing!  
Lia: Gah, I love Saj! Can I hug him? Anyway, you get a basket of everyones  
cookies. You can pick out the kinds you don't like! I hope you Rocked those  
Finals socks! And in case you don't get to write until after Christmas, HAPPY  
HOLIDAYS! (Hugs everyone in cast)  
Loves,  
Willow_

**Near: Quite odd indeed.**

**L: Thank you. Probably, when I was little, it was Inspector Gadget. I wouldn't mind either or.**

**Mello: Thanks and I was planning on tomorrow if your still interested. Willy Wonka of course! White. I like putting snow in Near's bed.**

Mikami, you get him this time. Last time he gave me the stare of doom.

**Mikami: Fine. Wuss. *Knocks on door* **

**Matt: WHAT!?!?**

**Mikami: I...uh..uh.....there's...cookies for you....**

**Matt: *Opens door* Thank you LadyWillowTree. Steve Wiebe. I wouldn't mind either, I don't like the outdoors. *Closes door***

**Near: This will be one instance where I can be allowed to play with my food. L of Course. White. And I heard that Mello. **

**Beyond: Oddles. *Smiles evily***

**Light: Gee. Thanks.**

**Mikami: I'll eat them if you don't want them God.**

**Light: Uh...that's okay Mikami.**

**Misa: Misa-Misa loves ginger snaps!!**

**Ryuk: *Devours* The amazing things humans come up with now these days...**

Why certainly! I wouldn't have him if it wasn't for you! Thanksies! And yes, I did pretty awesome on my finals. Though I think I failed some. Thanks to a certain someone who kept pestering me during my test...

**Mello: You wouldn't get me any flippin chocolate! Next.**

_xxDemonChild **asks:**_

_Okay, this is directed at everyone:_

_My apparent best friend is acting like I don't exist and is not talking to me  
because I was being myself and being pretty damn honest. I tried talking to  
her, and she's just spreading rumors now._

_Is it justifiable to kill her, yet? Or, better yet, what would you do?_

**Beyond: I would justify the killing.**

**Light: Or better yet Beyond, how about trying to talk to her and tell her that you were just being honest and that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings. **

**Near: And if she won't talk to you, then you can text her, e-mail her, etc. until she finally hear's you out.**

**Ryuk: Next.**

_Jeevas-on-Fire **asks:**_

_This is the Flame-of-Coolness, Jeevas-on-Fire writing:  
L, I had a dream on a rain of chocolate covered strawberries raining from the  
sky. Does this mean I am finally becoming a genius like you? By the way, nice  
kick. Too bad Light's nose didn't break.  
Mello, What were you thinking when you kidnapped Sayu Yagami? If you were  
planning to cause Light stress, then kudos to you. But did Sayu have to come  
in between?  
Matt, When Takada's bodyguards were closing in you were thinking:  
1-Where is that damn cigarette?  
2-I wonder if I can make it to the video gamers convention on time?  
3-Mello, I'm gonna kill you so many times that you will lose count!  
Jeevas-on-Fire_

**L: Possibly, it depends on how you look at it. It could mean that, or it could mean that you're hungry. Thanks.**

**Mello: I was thinking that I wanted that dang notebook (and I wanted to stress Light out ;)) so I stole his sister.**

**Mikami: You stole God's sister!? How dare you!**

**Ryuk: Matt! Question!**

**Matt: *Opens door and gives death glare to Ryuk* Both 1 and 3. *Gives death glare to Mello and closes door***

**Mello: *Gulp***

**Beyond: Haha! Your dead! Your death date just dropped a couple of years. Next!**

_Banished Fire Princess Felicia_ **asks:**

_Alright, I made a mistake, apparently someone else has the foriegn exchange  
kid...ah well._

_Okay another thing: I've been listening to Circle You, Circle You, and Alice  
of Human Sacrifice by Vocaloids and now I'm scared for life how do I resolve  
this?_

**Misa: Misa thinks that you should try listening to more mellower songs. 0.0**

**Mikami: For once, I agree with Misa.**

**Near: Next.**

_kamihanazono _**asks:**

_Are new reviewers allowed to this fanfic? ;D  
First off, I have to say this fanfic is pure genius! Hugs & cookies for all~! 8D  
Nao, for my question of advice...  
I go to a school that forces us to wear uniforms (yuck :C) & they just nao  
established a free dress day at the end of every month~! Today was our first  
free dress, & I wore my pwnsome Gir shirt! ;D Nao I'm debating for next month--  
should I wear my creepy L shirt (he looks drunk on it XD) or should I wear my  
epic lolita shirt? :0 Any thoughts?_

_L- You are awesome. You should hate Takashi Ohbata more for killing you off  
than Light :C You get a motorola phone~! (lawlfail xD)_

_Light- I honestly don't see why everyone hates you :C They should be ashamed!  
Crazy pycho mass murderers are what keep the world spinning round! *Hugs both  
Light & Beyond* You get...a L plushie :3 And dont rip it up! D: That  
cost me money :C_

_Misa- ...You're more annoying than ameture clarinet players. Don't you ever  
shut up in your life? :C But you're still awesome cause you're cute. If you  
werent, I'd have BB kill you...so...you get Light plushie ;D_

_Mello- Pft, you're hilarious. I love you so much for putting the humor back  
in DN. I saw a wanna-be you on TV last night. Did you & Matty finally have  
kids? *shot XD*_

_Matt- Epic striped shirt, man. I want one~! You get a... I don't know, DSi? **._.**_

_Near- I've always wanted to do this...*ruffles Near's hair* aw, its so soft  
:3 You always remind me of a giant teddy bear~! *Huggles*_

_BB- You are ftw. But the strawberry jam obsession makes me lol. So get some  
homemade strawberry...Jelly! 8D  
-Kami_

Sure!

**L: L shirt. And thank you.**

**Light: I know right? I say the lolita shirt. *restrains from stabbing doll***

**Mikami: Who could hate someone like you God?**

**Misa: Hands off my Light!!! Uh..thanks? o.0 Lolita for sure!!**

**Mello: 0_0 WHAT!!!!! **

*Hits over head* None of that Mello.

**L: Matto!**

**Matt: *opens door* What the crap do you want!? Thank you. Haven't gotten a DSi yet. Thanks! *Closes door excitedly***

**Near: Well I'm glad that I remind you of a giant teddy bear.**

**Beyond: Good enough!**

Well aren't you happy Beyond? Next!

_MizukiYumeko **asks:**_

_Oh my gosh! This is amazing! *favs*  
Love you all (including miss authoress) and thanks for not being completely  
ooc ^_^_

_Advice: I'm nervous about my new high school classes, because I liked  
everything first semester, but now things are completely switched around. Any  
ways to relieve stress (w/o killing people, Light and BB.) or calm down?_

_Other (in no particular order): __Beyond - Have some strawberry jam! Is there anyone in particular that you haven't really wanted to kill that bad?_

_Mello - Have a giant Hershey's bar XD How did you find Near when you were  
trying to get your picture back?_

_Near - For you, some finger puppets and a giant Jenga set; I don't think  
anyone's given you those yet. Um..question: How come you already had all that police stuff when you were running from kira's mob?_

_Mikami - (yes, I see you peeking in through the door; don't you even THINK  
about writing my name down if you want your present) - You get a Kami/Kira  
plushie (if you're a good boy.) Did your heart go doki-doki when you first saw  
Kira in person? (idk, random thought.)_

_Light - How do you feel about LxLight shippers? And would your opinion  
of them change if they were also Kira supporters? (and as compensation for  
making you answer that question, have a nice, brand new, plastic death note I  
just ordered specifically for you, because CLEARLY you're NOT kira.)_

_Matt - Got you the perfect thing-PSP 30 with a memory stick and Final Fantasy  
Dissidia ^_^ Oh-but before you start, have you ever played a game you didn't like??_

_L - (I know, not really original, but I had to ask it anyway...) What REALLY  
happened when you guys were handcuffed together?? And for answering you get  
this three-tier strawberry shortcake :D_

_Misa - You get a Light plushie too! (only this one is life-sized for when he  
leaves you behind to be with ...not sayin for fear of death. Don't tell Light  
XD) No questions for you, just enjoy your Knight plushie ^_^_

_Ryuk - For your present, you get an apple! (Pulls apple out of basket and  
sets it on table.) And another one, and another one, and another one... (Keeps  
setting apples down one by one)...and another one, and another one, and  
another one, and (reaches for an apple that isn't there) ..hmm..yeah, that's it. I'll bring more next time!!_

_Authoress - You get a couple more 2 Liters of Mountain Dew since yours  
already ran out by now. Enjoy!_

Oh well your quite welcome! :)

**Misa: Misa-Misa says to look on the bright side of things! You can make new friends with all he new classes you have and you might even find some of the classes have are more interesting than you thought they were!**

**Beyond: How delightful! Well, I do kinda have a soft spot for Near. He's such an odd little kid. Bound to snap one of these days and kill us all. **

**Near: I'm 17. I'm not necessarily qualified as a "kid".**

**Mello: Why thank you. Well, I had Matt track down their headquarters. So simple really. **

**Near: Thank you. I'm always prepared. Got to think one step ahead of everyone.**

**Mikami: Crap. Fine. OMG! Thank you! More than that. It was like heaven's gates opened up to me and a light shined down.**

**Light: I feel the need to kill everyone who would even think of _me _and _L_ like that. I might, if they all swear to serve me. Thank you for this gift.**

**Everyone: *looks around room* **

**Near: I'll do it. *knocks on door quietly***

**Matt: Yes?**

**Mikami: Wait, why is he so nice to you??**

**Matt: *Opens door* Yes! Thank you! Let me think...there's this one Harry Potter game for the computer that was worth crap. *Closes door***

**L: Fine. You really want to know? We gave eachother make-overs. Happy?**

**Light: *jaw drops* How could you L!? We swore not to tell!**

**L: I wanted the freakin shortcake!**

**Misa: Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!**

**Ryuk: Yay!**

Why yes they have! How considerate! Next! ^^

_Tsori-Iikagen _**asks:**

_I tried your advice and it worked all of them. But for only 3 days **-_-;**  
Then she smacked me and try fighting me, a teacher saw me. Apparently she has a record so she transferred  
yay~  
I need more advice though. I gotten more people into mangas and anime now even Death note!  
but here lays the problem, those buggers just can't stop annoying me about it!  
"What shonen jump?" "What's shujo?" "Why am I reading this backward?" I had to learn all that by myself! I keep telling them answers to be polite then told them to learn on your own but they still annoy me with questions! But that's not it...they are all...LIGHT FAN'S! *DUN DUN DUNN!*  
I mean I respect Light fans that's all I can do *L fan* but they only like him becasue of his ties and he's hot!  
That's not right, they are all noobs to anime and driving me and my friend crazy! *She's a L/Near fan*  
Is it us or them and how do I resolve this?_

Questions!  
L- Do you listen to Japanese music and what's your favorite?  
Near- What would happen if you woke up and saw you were wearing all black and saw your room black and even your hair? Would you faint?  
Mello- Have you seen your fanart? You look more as a girl!  
Matt- What is your real hair color? Do you have any idea why FanFic made your hair red?  
Light- Do you have a fetish for ties?  
Beyond- Do you really look like L or do you dress up as him and why?  
Ryuk - Do you have any ideas why your a shinigami?  
Misa- Would you still help Light if your family wasn't murdered?  
Author- Do you think I should watch Bleach? I don't know, I hear it's good, but my sister said it was bad. What do you think? 

**Mello: I say it's them. I mean seriously! It says on the book which way to read. And we read like that cause were awesome people! **

**L: Even though this could take a while, you should write a handbook to the art of anime and manga. And if not that, then gather some other anime/manga fans who know everything about it to help you guys out and get these amateurs educated and stop bugging you. Yes I do. My favorite is "Kubota Toshinobu" by Sign of Love.**

**Near: I would scream 10 times, wash my clothes 5 times, and then faint.**

**Light: Hey mister grumpy pants, someone's got a question for you.**

**Matt:*Opens door and throws shoe at Light* My real hair color is red. Though it is potrayed as brown in the anime. Cause it's my natural color I guess. *closes door***

**Light: *Rubbing head* Pfft. No. They just add more to my charm. **

**Beyond: People say that I look like him. But I still dress up like him. Because it's fun to see him get annoyed when people get us mixed up.**

**Ryuk: Well, when a male shinigami meets a female shinigami--**

What the frick?? You guys don't do that! Tell her the _real _reason.

**Ryuk: I was just joking... Some believe that whoever dies after using the Death Note becomes a shinigami.**

**Misa: Most definatly! Light is my hero!**

**Mikami: No, God is _my_ hero!**

I personally say you should watch it. I've only seen a few episodes, but it really didn't catch my attention. But just because I have no interest in it is no reason for you to watch it anyway and see what you think. :))

**L: Next.**

_Undercover92 **asks:**_

_RPA(Your acronym of course)!  
I want to tell Mello that to get the names straight! 82 happens to be my evil  
twin! He just uses the number 82 because he can't bear to share the same  
number with me.  
Alright, time for some questions.  
Misa: What if you woke up in the morning to learn that you have gone bald?  
L: I have a special filter camera which can show proof of Light having some  
mysterious link to Kira. I'll sell it to you for an admission to Wammy's.  
Mello: Near is spraying graffiti on your bike! Get him!  
Near: I like Aizawa! That's the reason!  
And RPA, I can't bear neither Light nor Misa. Lock them up in that oddly but  
conveniently present walk-in freezer! That will teach him to kill L!!_

**Mello: Well I'm sorry. I have to put up with mister grouchy pants (Matt) all the time that I think I'm starting to go blind. If that makes any sense.**

**Misa: BALD!?!? I would cry my heart out! My poor hair!**

**L: Before I can make such a deal: Do you have any academic qualifications?**

**Mello: WHAT!? *Tackles Near***

**Near: Get off of me physco! **

**Beyond: *Restrains Mello***

**Near: *Dusts self off* Ahem. Well that was interesting. Okay then, I shall capture him.**

Where have you been all my life!? Your such an evil genius! You heard 'em.

**L: Allow me to do the honor. *Drags Light and Misa over to fridge***

**Mikami: No! God!!**

**Mello: So how long should we have them in there?**

A week.

**Beyond: Works for me.**

Awesome! Okay, L?

**L: Thanks for the reviews, and.....**

**Everyone: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!**

And as a present for all of you, enjoy this update that I made! :D

**Mello: I'm sick of this. I'm going to go in there and beat some sense into that Mario Queer. *Walks into room with baseball bat*.....**

* * *

**Okay so sorry for not letting you guys know ahead of time that Mikami was coming, but I thought it would be a cool Christmas suprise for you guys. And just to make up for that, he'll be here next chapter too! Oh, and just to let you guys know, I'm probably not going to update next week. (Going to be spending time with the fam) I might, but I'm not sure yet. But you guys can still review I just probably won't update until the week after New Year's. With that said, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! **

**Me without reviews is like Near without toy robots! The world will end!!**

**~Lia**


	15. Shyness and A Laptop

Time to let the love birds out of the freezer! *opens freezer*

**Light: I-I....Ha-ate.....Y-Y-ou! **

**Misa: Now wasn't t-that fun Light!!**

Well I enjoyed it! And guess what guys? My grandpa had a heart attack. And yes, I blame you Light.

**L: As do I.**

**Light: W-What!? He's stil-l alive! It c-c-couldn't have been my doi-ing.**

I'm still keeping my eye on you Paco...

**Light: Paco? T-that's not even th-he right race st-tupid.** **I'm j-japanese!**

I can call you whatever I want and don't make me put you in that freezer again!

**Misa: C-an I go in the f-f-freezer ag-gain!?**

_NinetailsGirl09 _**asks:**

_Dear Peoples,_

_I work for a dragon-turtle thing who continuous kidnaps a prepish princess  
and gets his castle destroyed by a Italian plumber who rescues her. My boss  
put me incharge of fixing the castle MYSELF, because I accidentally showed the  
plumber where the self-destruct switch was(Horrible idea by the way). On top  
of that his second-in-command put me incharge of babysitting and entertaining  
his EIGHT children. So how can I get revenge against King Jackass and his  
right-hand man Transsexual Bastard without losing my job?_

**Mikami: As payback, you could destroy the castle, making all evidence point to said Transsexual B*stard. He'll get easily blamed and King Jack*ss will have his castle, yet again, destroyed.**

**Light: Ah, two birds with one crazy looking stone.**

**Matt: Or rather a Physcotic, obsessive one. Next.**

_Duncanandme4ever _**asks:**

_Hi I have more questions!  
Mello: Have you ever had any dreams about Matty? Like those fangirl dreams.  
Light: Yay! Thanks for putting me on team Kira! You rock oh and if you even  
think about killing me I'll write your name down in a heartbeat! Anyways in the  
show did you ever have feelings for Misa?  
Misa: Thanks for the advice! You are really awesome! Oh, btw if you ever could  
would you kill Mikami if he touched Light?  
Matt: I'm sorry you had your mood swings Matty I hope you feel better *hugz* Oh  
and have you ever thought of or put Mello in a dress?  
Ryuk: Did you ever have feelings for Rem? Or missed her after when she died?  
L: I think the burning calories thing is working so thank you! Btw did you  
have any other feelings for Light other than you two being friends?  
BB: That's cool oh I read the BB murder cases book and I was so upset when you  
died! Btw why on earth did you set yourself on fire?!? It scarred me..  
Near: That's cool btw I love your hair is it so curly cause you curl it all the  
time? And do you ever wash or brush it?_

**Mello: No. That would be highly disturbing.**

**Light: Well sorta at first. But then my loved died down.**

**Misa: Oh, stop filling our reviewer's minds with such lies Light-bulb! **

**Mikami: I don't think their "lies" Misa-dip-head.**

**Misa: What did you say Mikami-dead-head!? I would be delighted Duncanandme4ever_. *_Evil grin***

**Matt: I do now. *rubs big bump on head while staring at Mello* Quite often really. It's just something you can't help but think about....**

**Ryuk: I know right? It's kinda like watching Death Note. You can't stop thinking about it! Not really. Well, I did miss her after she died. Now I'm the only shinigami....**

**L: Yes, the feeling of pure hatred.**

**Beyond: Cause I didn't want L or Naomi to catch me. So I was attempting to kill myself so they could never catch the criminal. (Me)**

**Near: Partially. I also have natural curly hair. Yes, who could go without having clean hair? *stares at Beyond***

**Beyond: What?? Next.**

_XxSenbonzakura KageyoshixX _**asks:**

_Lol. Shanked yet again. That would make... 10 times this week? *sigh* It's  
fine, Ryuk. I wouldn't eat em anyway. :p Aww. Poor Matt. :( *Hugs cautiously*  
*hands pack of cigarettes* Stole em from mah sis. :) See what I do? She'll kill  
me now. Advice! 0.0_

_I'm awkward and shy. What do I do, since I have to meet and talk to a bunch  
of peeps I don'__t know? 0.o_

_1. Matt-Have you ever considered/tried quiting smoking? Nasty, dirty habit, it  
is. 0.o_

_2. Mello, were you a bad influence for Matt? He loves guns now, I think  
that's because of you._

_3. L, what is your favorite type of cake? I'm going shopping tomorrow and have  
to pick up cake. lol. _

_Well, thanks lots and happy all your holidays! :D BB... Happy Murdermas! Update soon and thanks for the advice!_

**Misa: Misa suggests you try being more outgoing!**

**Near: You should be more open and talk randomly to the person next to you. Who knows, you may make a new best friend.**

**Matt: Thanks. Nah, it's too relaxing for me.**

**Mello: Probably, but I'm generally a bad influence for anyone and everyone. Kids, who thinks it would be fun to kidnap Kiyome Takada and blow her head off!?**

**L: It would have to be a tie between strawberry upside down cake and strawberry shortcake. Hard to choose.**

**Beyond: Well Happy Murdermas to you too. That's the first time that someone, other than me, has wished me a Happy Murdermas!**

**Mikami: I rather not know what you do on that holiday. Next.**

_Sadari _**asks:**

_To L: If Watari would challenge you to wear socks and would prohibit you from  
brushing your teeth would you accept it?_

_To Mello: Are you a Misa-Misa fanatic?_

_To Light: Would you date me?_

**L: Depends on what I would get in return for doing the tasks.**

**Mello: No, and I never plan on being one. **

**Light: Sure. *hands number***

**Mikami: Good choice god.**

**Misa: *Fuming* Next.**

_LadyWillowTree **asks:**_

_Thanks for the replies! Matt, I hope you're better, It made me all sad when  
you where all moody. :(  
Anyways, Here's my "amazing" question for everyone:  
What's your favorite Anime/Manga? I've always kinda wanted to know...  
L: You're welcome! I was wondering, what's your favorite book?  
Mello: Of Course, I'm always interested! :D And remember, don't be to mean  
to Near! I'll give you chocolate if you can be really nice to him the rest of  
day, okay?  
Matt: You're welcome Matt. Hope they helped make you feel better!  
Near: Hope you enjoy playing with your dice cookies!  
Beyond: Okay, please don't do anything too bad, I really don't want to be  
questioned or anything like that because I gave you that sharpener!  
Light: Gee, your welcome. My god, someone might think your going to explode  
from happiness...  
Mikami: I would have made you cookies if I knew you where going to be here!  
You know, I thought of you earlier this week. My techy nerd friend got a  
pillow that said 'Delete' (Like Crtl, Alt, Del. set) and I shouted "DELETED!"  
and everyone just kind of started...but whatever :D  
Misa: Willow is Glad Misa Loves Ginger-snaps!  
Ryuk: Well, some humans can be pretty fantasic!  
Lia: Yay! *Huggles Saj* No problems. Glad you did awesome on your finals, but maybe you should pack some emergency chocolate to shut that someone up...  
I loves you all (Yes, sometimes even Light)  
Hugs, Willow_

**L: "Serial Experiments Lain" is my favorite so far. Sherlock Holmes series. Yes it's old, but I like the classics.**

**Mello: "Hellsing" Uh sure whatever. It's not any of that dark chocolate crap is it?**

**Matt: "Devil May Cry" also an awesome video game! They helped a little. Good cookies by the way!**

**Near: "****Yu Yu Hakusho" Yes it's old, but I tend to go for the classics. **I did.

**Beyond: "Gunslinger Girl" cause who doesn't like watching hot girls assassinate people?? It'll be fine. And if I do actually get caught, I won't mention you at all.**

**Ryuk: I'd like to see that!**

**Light: Shut up Ryuk. "Gantz".**

**Mikami: "Berserk". I would have liked cookies....**

**Misa: "Tokyo Mew Mew" of course!! Misa glad that Willow glad! ^^**

**Ryuk: Well I've started watching "Naruto" and have enjoyed it so far. You can say that again.**

"Death Note"!! It was my first love! I know. I should. But sometimes common sense escapes me... I should have known, knowing Mello. Next!

_Ryuu Ryuu-kun_ **asks: **

_Alrighty...not to bother such a GENIUS author like you, but I need advice,  
and to ask some questions….so, my best friend of seven years is a Light/  
Kira fan girl, and I am L***t/True Justice fan girl. So one day, I told her  
how many hate clubs Light had compared to L (3:10,000) so she renamed my team  
Pedophile Lovers, so I called her team the Straight Up Gay Physcos. The only  
fly in the ointment is that none of this would've happened if I hadn't  
rambled on about how much I love L and Death Note! So, how do I get her to  
quit calling me Pedophile Fan #276, without her bringing the subject up of who got her hooked in the first place?_

_Hiya, Death Note cast peoples! I have some very interesting questions for yous! But first presents!  
Misa: Gee…I don't have many blonde friends so….huh, this is a toughie.  
You get your shinigami back! And a shopping trip with me AROUND THE WORLD! And  
your question is: I'm not cosplaying you yet, but how do you get those cute  
tiny little pigtails on the sides of your head when you have the rest of your  
hair down. Whenever I try, my dog runs away from me, barking._

_Beyond: Beyond, at this rate, you'll also be on the road to diabetes…so I  
got you weapons instead! Here's a toaster, a lamp, a lead pipe, and the  
board game Clue, for all those other miniature creative weapons! My question  
for you is…*Googles picture of Beyond Birthday, and giggles madly* You're  
cyute! Is it because you look suspiciously like a bloody *Ryuzaki? * (I call him Ryuzaki because I feel guilty when I use his real name, except for instances when it's a title)_

_Matt: Dude, you need to go to therapy…or like, a gamers anonymous like  
those WoW freaks…any who, I love love LOVE how you used your last breath to  
smoke a cigarette. Sexy. My question for you is, how does it feel to find all  
you guys in yaoi? (guy on guy, ex: LighxL, MattxMello, NearxMisa)_

_L: YOU GET ME AS A NEKKO FANGIRL! And a strawberry the height of a giraffe,  
and the size of an elephant and some cookies, as you never get any of  
those…and a golden fork to eat the your lifetime supply of cake with! How do  
you do your hair? It goes all to the right, yet sticks straight out...gravity  
defying. *kisses forehead, and runs away, stumbling over untied shoelaces*  
LOVE YOUS ALL!! (Except Light….tee hee!)_

_Near: You get a Toys R Us, A KB Toys, and an amusement park. Do you have  
multiple sets of the same pajamas, or are they the same pajamas, and just worn all day?_

_Light: You get a kick in the stomach. HOW DARE YOU KILL L, YOU VAIN B****RD!  
But I do have a question/present for you. My friend Abby became one of your  
fan girls. But…what exactly did happen while you two were handcuffed? L,  
feel free to answer this too._

_Mello: You get an Oompa Loompa (he can get you the goods!) What would you do  
if you were eating some chocolate, and some guy came up to you, screamed  
FALCON PUNCH!, and knocked your chocolate out of your hand?_

_Ryuk: You get a never ending apple. When you bite into it, it magically  
replenishes itself. What's it like to always have to smile? Or are you not  
smiling, and it just looks that way like Ronald McDonald?_

_And uh, Mikami?: I just want you to know you are HOT AND  
AWESOME AND OMG THAT WAS SUPER SEXY HOW YOU KILLED YOURSELF WITH A PEN AND-!  
Tee hee…no questions, but I'll let you borrow my cosplay handcuffs, and  
you can pull a Ryuzaki with your "God"._

_POIZUNNN!: I love your fic soo much, I am giving you the gift of REVIEWS FOR  
EVERY CHAPTER!!! And of course, the deed to your own Wal-Mart. UNLIMITED  
MOUNTAIN DEW ACCESS! And a Snuggie, for those cold winter nights when you sit shivering at your keyboard, for us, the silly reviewers._

**Near: You could try settling your differences by both agreeing that you two have your own views on justice and maybe even use having different views as a fun little debate.**

**Misa: Rem! Oh what fun we'll have! Easy really: you straighten your hair, take part of the hair in the front, brush threw it, pull it up to were it's on the side of your head, and apply pony-tail holder.**

**Beyond: *smiles evilly* I'll make sure to put these to good use. Probably, I've never really thought about it.**

**Matt: Why? I'm not addicted or anything..... Very...disturbing.**

**L: Thanks, thanks, and thanks! It's just natural.**

**Near: I have some of the same pair.**

**Light: *hunches over* Okay, OWW! Nothing along the lines of what your thinking of...**

**Mello: I've always wanted one! I would pull out my gun and shoot their brains out. Then I would just shoot them again for fun.**

**Ryuk: THANK YOU! I'm not intentionally smiling. Yeah I would say it's like creepy Ronald McDonald.**

**Mikami: I know I was. *smirks* **

Yay!! Now I have a never ending supply! Oh, a snuggie! These things are so cool! And I'm glad that someone acknowledges what I must go through for my undying reviewers. ;)

_YuzukiraBirthday **asks:**_

_MAYBE I AM BEYOND`S DAUGHTER!! O_O Wow. . . . That would be SO COOL!_

_B: Yes, I think murderous thoughts and I think about suicide and like fire. __But I have a sweater that looks a lot like Naomi`s and when I`m wearing  
that and some jeans I look almost exactly like her except I have your skin  
tone and eye color but I don`t see peoples names and deaths. . .WE. ARE. TO.  
MUCH. ALIKE. FOR. COMFORT. Also, what kind of music do you like? I'm a fan of:  
Hard rock  
Gothic rock  
Classic rock  
Classical  
Grunge  
Punk  
J-pop  
J-rock  
Emo  
Piano music  
Soft sounding music  
(Sometimes) Love songs  
Anime songs  
Vocaloid (Sometimes)  
Thats the kinds of music I am interested in. I find Hip-Hop and Rap annoying.  
(Actually I am quite happy to know we are alot a like. __But what am I gonna tell my friend? O__O (P.S Just a hint to who she  
is, she has blonde hair down to her shoulders, blue eyes, her hair is a bit  
curly, down to shoulders, wears glasses sometimes and has a white dress.  
Guess! Oh, and her intitials are Q.Q)_

**Beyond: Don't remind me. -_- I perfer heavy metal. Q.Q.!? Oh, crap! I thought she was dead!! 0_0;**

**Mello: And yet again, you're screwed. Next.**

_Jeevas-on-Fire _**asks:**

_AWESOME!  
Light, did you ever consider killing Mikami? He is such a freak with all that  
freakish hair which (I hate to admit) looks even more freaky compared to  
your hair?  
That's all for now!  
By the way Matt, I heard that Near has been behind the sabotage of a __game  
convention. Which One?  
Jeevas-on-Fire_

**Light: Many times over again.**

**Mikami: But...but...God?? **

**Matt: I knew it! From what I've heard, it's the Gamers of Winter Convention. But I'm not sure yet...**

**Near: Now why would I sabotage a stupid game convention!? **

**Matt: *gasps* You called it stupid!**

**Near: *Sigh* Next.**

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_I am proud to announce that Light and Misa have won a trip to the middle of  
the Sahara desert! Misa don't forget your suntan and Light, forget your __Death  
Note.  
L: I have some qualifications. Let me in will ya? After all this camera will  
help you fix your ego damage done by Light.  
Near: Mello is breaking your toy robots! Get him!  
Mikami: How come you have to say *delete*? Why not *erase*?  
Matt: I am sorry for having you locked up with that freak of a shinigami. Is  
that your real hair color?  
Lia: Bring in Matsuda next time, okay?  
Yours in fanship,  
Undercover92_

**Misa: Oh this is sooo wonderful! Isn't it Lighty!?**

**Light: Oddles....**

**L: Fine, you're in. But be aware that you're going to be leaving behind your family and friends and never ever see them again. Unless of course when your 18 and can leave Wammy's.**

**Near: And those are my new ones too! *attacks Mello***

**Mikami: It's more of an perferance.**

**Matt: It's okay. Other than the constant rant of wanting an apple.... Yep. But many think it's brown or green or etc.**

Oh, great idea! Will do. Next!

_MizukiYumeko _**asks:**

_(I hope Mello's okay and didn't get Falcon Punch'd to death or anything. Try  
not to kill anyone today, Matt. For the fans.) (..Now that I think about it, you can't kill anyone either, Mello. Sorry.  
Maybe next time.)_

_Advice: I just got this new laptop for Christmas, and I've been on it pretty  
much 24/7. The only thing is, I can't make myself get up to do anything. My  
room is a mess, blah, blah..(you get the picture.) It's going to be even worse  
when I start school again and have homework to do. Anything I can do to  
motivate myself to get off the web and the games?_

_-*Gift time!*- Again, in no particular order._

_L: Ehehe..wish I could have seen the results of your guys' makeovers. Nice  
job on dragging the two into the freezer, by the way. Q&A-If you had met me  
randomly somewhere and I told you that I knew almost everything about you, the  
Kira case, and Wammy's House, what would my percentage of being Kira be?  
Gift-Double layered strawberry cake and a can of whipped cream. And some sugar  
cubes._

_Mello: I should have guessed :) It's safer for Near than having the Mafia  
track him down, that's for sure. Q&A-Have you ever considered getting a  
different haircut so people won't laugh at you? I don't, but it's just a  
thought. Gift-Have you ever seen the part in the new(ish) Willy Wonka movie  
where there's that chocolate palace? Yeah..something like that. It will be  
done by next week, so eat fast when it's done. Since it's winter it will last  
longer, but still. And for the heck of it, here's a new gun. It's a paintball  
gun, but if you shoot Light where it counts, it'll be really funny._

_Beyond: Hm..that's a sensible thought you had, for once. XD Most normal  
people wouldn't want to kill one of L's successors. (Looks accusingly at Kiras  
1,2,4,5.) Anyways...Q&A-If you were in Light's position, how fast do you think  
you would get fed up with Ryuk's apple addiction? Just curious. Gift-A gallon  
of strawberry jam, a hugemongous spoon, and a butcher's knife. Don't kill or  
maim anyone on the set, please. I wouldn't want miss Authoress to have to  
clean it up. (Magically or manually.)_

_Matt: I hope you're feeling better or are in somewhat of a better mood  
today.. Sorry about the typo last time, I meant a PSP 30, not 30. I never play  
computer games unless its WoW, an in-browser game, or on an emulator, because  
they usually suck. That's just my opinion, though. Although, there was this  
one that was kind of good...I can't remember now..Oh well. Q&A-What's your  
handheld of choice? I personally like the PSP the best. But not the PSP Go,  
though; it's a bit weird. Gift-Umm.. Have a year's supply of smokes and a  
laptop with a NES emulator. Yay for old-school-ish. (I've currently been  
playing FF1 and Fire 'n Ice.) Also, if Mello tries to get you with his  
paintball gun, here's a shield and an identical paintball gun. (I'd prefer it  
if you both just shot Light, though. ehehehe.) Your shield has an dexterity  
bonus of +2 in the dark, just so you know. *has been playing too many rounds  
of D&D*_

_Ryuk: I brought more apples..BUT- I've hidden them somewhere in the room! If  
you can find all 10 of them, I'll give you a giant house made of an apple! And  
until you find the apples, here's some apple pie._

_Mikami: Thank you very much for not killing me. I like my life. Did you  
really? That sounds more like-mphh! *uncovers mouth* Ehem. Anyways... Q&A-Did  
you know they were waiting for you at the warehouse? Gift: Umm...*looks  
around, then gets close and whispers* This envelope contains pictures taken  
secretly of Light. Keep it under your pillow so nobody gets it. *discretely  
hands yellow envelope to Mikami*_

_Light: Aww..that's too bad. (lol) Q&A: Why did you decide to go to To-Oh? Why  
not a different university? Gift: A bag of Lay's chips and a flaming  
marshmallow on a stick...because I can._

_Misa: Thanks so much for the advice! Q&A: Do you like to sing? Gift: A  
goth-loli dress, a warm blanket to recover from your battle with the freezer,  
and matching engagement rings with your and Light's names on them. XD (You  
can't tell him I gave them to you, okay?)_

_Near: Good idea to always be prepared. ^_^ Q&A: Which do you like most, blank  
puzzles, dice, tarot cards, or your finger puppets? Gift: All of those and  
some white fuzzy dice._

_Miss Authoress: No questions for you! Just have some cake and one of those  
really good mountain dew slushie thingies._

**Matt: Got it. Now try telling that to Mello.**

**Mello: No promises!**

**Mikami: I suggest that you set a timer for how long your should spend on your laptop. Once the timer goes off, you get off the games and web.**

**L: Yes, how about motivating yourself with the satisfaction of not having to worry about messy room, homework and etc. Once your done doing all those things then you may get on your laptop. Until then though. I'll have to restrain you. Probably about 116%. Thank you, much appreciated.**

**Matt: I am thank you. And I too am now a fan of my new PSP. Thanks! I need my smokes... Awesome, hey Mello want to go shoot Light with our paintball guns??**

**Mello: Sure!**

**Ryuk: On it!! *Searches around room***

**Mikami: I did not actually. I just followed god's orders and went to the warehouse. Pictures!? Of GOD!? *hugs envelope***

**Light: Because my parents saw that it was fit for me. And also because it was the closest one to home. Thanks, and WTF?**

**Misa: Of course I do!! OMG! No way! Sure, I'll keep it a secret! *rubs it in Mikami's face***

**Near: I would have to say my dice. Thank you.**

Yay! I love those really good mountain dew slushie thingies! :D

_Majorfangirl _**asks:**

_Uh hey peeps! I've been absent and I'm sure you all missed me!  
Erica: They didn't notice, probably.  
Me: naw, I'm loved!  
Erica: Keep telling yourself that...  
Me: Anyway! Matt! I was so looking forward to seeing you in the anime and was  
not thrilled at all! With your awesomeness, you deserved a better role. I got  
so peeved that I yelled, scaring my parents. I was watching the episode on my  
iTouch, which is where I am reviewing from. Hard to type this much!  
So...I am going through another one of obsessive fangirl phases where I  
immitate the unlucky character. Yeah, sorry, L...you're the one I'm stalking  
right now, but occasionally I'll randomly be someone else. I think it's part  
of my insecurity issues, but now I feel more unoringal than before. And now I'm ranting like a crazy person.  
Um, I noticed people brought gifts, so I give the gift of choice! Prepaid Visa Gift Cards__ for 10 bucks!! Shh, don't tell my character, I used her money  
to pay for them._

**All: It was terribly lonely without you.**

**Matt: I know.... it's quite tragic isn't it?**

**L: Yay....**

Aww how nice! *hands out gift cards* Mikami, would you please end this chapter?

**Mikami: Why certainly! Thanks for reading and never drink pickle juice after eating an oreo!**

* * *

**Okay so.....I lied. I _did _mean to have this chapter up earlier, but I just got hammered with tests once I got back in school and then all heck broke loose. (Yes my grandpa actually did have a heart attack.) And yes my lovely reveiwers! Matsuda is going to be in the next chapter! Wow I just noticed, I've been having a lot of guests lately. But oh well! Sorry if some people are OOC but it's midnight and I haven't had my daily dose of Mountain Dew yet.**

**Oh, and just to let you guys know I am making another fic which I hope to have up soon. I've already finished the first chapter, but I don't have a title or summary yet so I'm working on that.**

**Me without reviews is like Mikami without the word "Delete"! The world will end!!**

**~Lia**


	16. Cosplays and a Sleeping Disorder

Well my friends, we have not one, but two guests! MIKAMI AND MATSUDA!!

**Matsuda: Hi! :D**

**Mikami: What am I still doing here?**

**Ryuk: Just go with it.**

**Light: Matsuda....**

**Matsuda: Light!! *Hugs* I'm so sorry I killed you it's just that you were such a physcotic jerk face that laughed evily for random reasons who had mental issues and had a god complex!**

**Light: Yeah...I still hate you.**

**Matsuda: I know. T.T**

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_Wow Lia, you are gonna write a new fanfic! I am sure it will be awesome.  
Interrogation time for Mikami and Matsuda.  
Mikami: Have you ever thought of posing as a hair model. I mean sure it's  
frakishly long and freakish looking and very evil but if you contacted some  
one in the hair industry you might have a chance to make BIG TIME! Ditch Light  
and turn to the bright world of fashion! You suck anyways.  
Matsuda: Don't you ever get tired of being yelled at or like having L say  
'Matsuda is being stupid'. And it really made me want to shoot Light when he  
said 'Oh again?' like it was usual. You have good ideas too you know! So go  
yell back and bite Light's head off. This idea goes to L too. Oh and I am  
thinking of writing a fanfic on you. Watch out!  
Yours in fanship,  
Undercover_

Merci! Je l'espère! Translation: Thank you! I hope so! Yeah, I'm learning French this semester so why not practice on my poor reviewers? ^^

**Mikami: Not recently. Really? Well I do use _special_ gel to style it.**

**Matsuda: I did at first, but you just get used to it after hearing it day after day after day after day... Well I already shot him several times so I think were even now. All that power just went to his little head. A fanfic about me? Oh well I'm flattered! ^^**

**Light: 'little head'? My head is the perfect size thank you very much! Next.**

_Misery's Prescription _**asks:**

_Wow I have actually not been on this for ages o-O  
Anyways onto the... ADVICE!  
I'm cosplaying Ulquiorra from Bleach for Nemacon & I could do with some  
advice... seeing as L is like his less emo twin... But yeah from all of you  
please 8B  
Yah... GIFTS!  
Light: ...Hair spray? I don't know :S  
Misa: Uhm cat ears & a coupon for Pinky's Maid Café.  
Beyond: Hm, I don't know what bands you like...Avenged Sevenfold CD? (The Rev  
is dead D:)  
L: ...AN IPAD! Man they are keyel.  
Matt: Is Mass Effect 2 okay? My brother has it :3  
Mello: A Willy Wonka outfit!! Heh, you have the blonde hair.  
Ryuk: A new pen? Meh I don't know, and a Pink Lady apple?  
Mikami: Again a new pen... seeing as you killed yourself with yours...  
snerfles AND A DELETE KEY! Just one though._

**L: Well seeing as he's the more emo twin of me, I shall answer first. If you don't already have the hair figured out, you could easily make a wig out of yarn (If you don't feel like buying one), or you could just dye your hair to give it that natural effect.**

**Near: You could also easily make his headress with plain white paper unless you feel like spending money on a replica one. You can also do the little tear-like designs going down his face with some make-up.**

**Beyond: I've also found a site that is selling the cosplay outfit and you are welcome to use it. .com/Bleach-Ulquiorra-Cosplay-Costume_ (take out the one of the slashes after http:)**

Wow Beyond, you're being quite generous today!

**Light: Hair spray will do perfectly. I've begun to run out.**

**Misa: Cat ears!!! Thank you. :3**

**Beyond: I do like Avenged Sevenfold, thank you. **

**L: Why thank you, it should be much easier now to keep up with my computer files now. My old laptop was getting too full.**

**Matt: Sure is! *Whips out X-box***

**Mello: Sweet, now I have a new cosplay costume.**

**Ryuk: Thanks? APPLE!**

**Mikami: Yeah....that may have not been the best move ever...**

**Matsuda: You can say that again!**

**Mikami: Shut up.... Next.**

_CosplayConfusion _**asks:**

_Hi guys! Ok here's my question:_

_I'm going to a huge anime convention in May and I need to start getting my  
cosplay outfit ready. Should I go as Matt or Mello? I have a DS and orange  
goggles, but I also have leather pants. So I'm at a loss. =/_

_And this is to Near, but it's not a question: I really hated you the first  
time I watched the series, but then I rewatched it and now I'm a Near fangirl!  
You make me smile._

_Mikami too. But I loved you the first time around anyway. =]_

_And to Ryuks-Poizun-Apples: Yay for a new fic! What's it about?_

**Mello: I would recommend Mello for obvious reasons.**

**Matt: I say Matt.**

**Ryuk: Mello.**

**Misa: Matty!**

**L: I would choose Mello.**

**Beyond: Mello. He's such a bad ss**

**Matsuda: Matt. Mello's a little creepy...**

**Near: Excellent. And since you seem to have more cosplay items for Matt, I would choose him.**

**Light: I would pick Matt.**

**Mikami: Who wouldn't? Mello.**

I pick Matt. Not that I favor one over the other!

Total- Mello: 5 Matt: 6

I would tell but I don't want to spoil it! ^^ Just keep a look out! And where is the convention may I ask? Next.

_YuzukiraBirthday _**asks:**

_LOL! *You all notice Quarter Queen sitting on my bed, arms folding across her  
shoulder and you can practically see steam rising off her*  
Me:Ehehehe! She didn't take that real well!  
Quarter Queen:-_-"' *About to kill the first person she sees (Which is me. O_O)*_

_Mello: I DARE YOU TO EAT JAM AND ACT LIKE MY DAD FOR A WEEK! (If you accept  
dares!) And will you tell me the funniest part of Another Note? I wanna laugh  
my socks off!  
B: Yeah, Heavy metal is good! Do you like Vocaloid!? Did you also know that  
your my new wallpaper? *Trying (And failing) to get out of fangirlness*  
(From background: Quarter Queen: Your so dead once I get a hold of you, B!)  
Near: I'm possibly an albino. My skin is almost plain white in the sunlight,  
except it is actually an extremely white purple.  
Matt: I dare you to give up your cancer-sticks (Cigs) for a month. I hate the  
d**m things. (My so-called "Mom" and "Dad" smoke. The smoke gets in my face if  
I'm sitting near them sometimes)  
Light: I dare Mikami to stab you in the heart, Rip off all your limbs, stab you  
in the stomach and vital organs, and stab you through the brain.  
Everyone: Based on the discreption I gave Light for his death, do you think I'm  
weird? Also, how do I get over the habit of singing in the car? I need to stop  
that when I'm sitting up front._

**Beyond: Heh....heh. *giggling nervously***

**Mello: Sure. But I better be getting something big out of this.**

**Beyond: Yeah, I listen to some Vocaloid. No I did not, that makes me feel slightly disturbed. Ha ha, dead. Get it cause...you're..dead. Yeah...**

**Near: If it's white purple, then I would go see a doctor.**

**Matt: But I love them!**

Give them up Popeye.

**Matt: Fine. *sulks* **

**Light: 0.0 That sounds painful.**

**Matsuda: Most definatly. **

**L: Yes.**

**Beyond: More like awesome! **

**Misa: One thing you could do is sing constantly in the shower so when you get in the car, you'll have already gotten all the singing-ness out!**

**Mikami: Or a better solution is to not play songs you like while in the car so there's less of a temptation to sing. Next.**

_Sadari _**asks:**

_I love you Lighto-kun!  
To Near: Do you read NearXMello fics?_

**Light: Ha L! See, I still do have fangirls! **

**Near: I was forced to read some while tied to a chair. They were quite graphic and utterly disturbing. *stares at Lia***

Well it's your fault for not letting me play with your robots!

**Near: I told you I would give them to you once you gave back my dice. Next.**

_Senbon Kageyoshi Is Sorry _**asks:**

_I couldnt sign in today... I'm writing this review from my DSi. (Jealous,  
Matt?;);)) I also apologize for gramatical or spelling errors, since this has  
a very tiny key board, a tiny a** screen, and all around fails for writing.  
^^... MATSU MATSU MATSU! *glomps* :3 Hi. xD  
~Advice~  
Okay. I'm not exactly sure how to phrase this... huh. I like someone. I also  
lack social skills. xD I sit next to him in a class, and near him in most other  
classes. My friend is constantly saying that he's showing off for me. 0.o I  
think that might be total bs, but... eh. He looks at me a sometimes, but idk. __For Everyone- How can you tell if someone likes you?  
QUESTMONSH!:D  
All- (even Light. I'm feeling generous.-_-) Can I has huggle?  
Matsu- I love you, cause you shot Light. Why did you cry though?  
Mello-OH OH! I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN! Can I shoot Takada? :3 Pwez? Why are your pants so dang tight?  
All but Matsu, Misa, Light and Poizun (cause that's not my buisness)- Do you guys date? Like... ever? 0.o  
Matt-I BEAT CALL OF DUTY MODERN WARFARE 2!~ What videogames are your favorite types? I like first person shooters. :)  
BB- Would you take this oddly convieniantly placed knife *coughs and drops knife to floor and kicks over to your foot* and stab Light or Misa with it? ;) wink wink hint hint...  
My pop-pop had two heart attacks! I blame you too, Light! He died too, but we  
brought him back, so HA! YOU LOST LIGHT! :P _

**Matt: Not really. I got one for my birthday Monday two weeks ago! **

**Matsuda: Ah, I see I have a fan! I feel loved!! I could probably tell by the odd conversations the person starts just so they can talk to you.**

**Mello: Why not? I'd rather have them tight than them falling on the ground and me looking like a fool. Probably by the way if the person constantly laughs or smiles while with you.**

**Matt: Awesome! Probably by the physical movements given. Like the constant tucking of hair girls do when their 'not' (They are) flirting. I go out every once in a while. But so far nothings been real serious. First person shooters are fun, but I perfer t****hird person action games. But I would most definatly perfer a cigarette right now!!**

No can do Matto!

**Beyond: Abso-freakin-lutley! *stabs Light and Misa***

*Uses alchemy/magic to bring them back to life* (Cause I can)

**Beyond: You're no fun. I haven't actually been on a date-date.**

**Light: Of course, I've been on many dates. It's not over!!-- I mean I would do no such thing... **

**Ryuk: Busted! Next.**

_Felicia iz Awesome _**asks:**

_Hey guys whats up!_

_Alright so I'm developing a sleep disorder and I don't know what's wrong._

_(Problem: I go to sleep at random times and stay up at o dark oclock)_

**All: Not much.**

**Matsuda: Sounds like L.**

**L: Does not. I don't generally sleep at all.**

**Light: Don't worry, almost everyone will be affected by insomnia at some point during life. Insomnia–a short term or chronic inability to get high quality sleep–i****s a common sleep problem and can be caused by a variety of things including stress, a change in time zones, an altered sleep schedule , too much caffeine, or poor bedtime habits.**

**Mello: One way to help with your sleep disorder is to try and keep a schedule and only sleep during night time without a nap during the day and you will get back on track with your sleep. Or you could just stop having all that caffeine!**

Okay, will you be so kind as to do the sign-off for me Matsuda?

**Matsuda: Sure!! Thanks for the reviews and remember that Misa's new album is coming out soon!**

Uh...yeah. -_-;_

* * *

_

**Yeah I meant to have this up. Blah blah blah. But I've been sick and apparently when you're sick, there's a 'no computer access' rule. Bleh. I really need my own laptop.... And did everyone think I like died or something? I didn't get as much reviews as usual. (NOT that I don't appreciate everyone who did review last chapter!) Of course it could also be that some people have been busy lately what with Valentines Day, President's day (Which I don't think anyone really celebrates), and Mardi Gras. **

**Mikami and or Matsuda will not be in the next chapter. Just so you guys know. **

**http://lia-poizun-apples..deviantart..com/ Here is my deviantart account. (Just take out one of the dots after "apples" and "deviantart") If you have an account too feel free to become a watcher or just stop by and say hey. I recently got it, and I have more art but have been too lazy and sick to puy any of it up lately.**

**Yes I'm _still _working on my new story I don't have everything planned out yet, so I'm probably just going to wing it. Be on the look out for it when it eventually comes. Hence "eventually". ^^;**

**Me without reviews is like Death Note without stupid Matsuda. The world will end!!**

***cough* *cough***

**~Lia**


	17. Revenge and Other stuffs

_TheEvilMuffinToaster _**asks:**

_-cough- Nonexistantfangirls..._

_Herro! I am in the mood for a little payback against a certain female who_  
_attends my school (ignores the fact that she's asking advice from anime_  
_characters) and I would love to know how to plot said-revenge. _

_I wanted to blow her can of hair spray up in her face during swimming, but my_  
_friends says that's 'too dangerous' and 'we don't want her to die'. Pfft. _

_So, how shall I extract my revenge?_

**Beyond: I like the whole idea of having her hair spray blow up in her face. And she won't die. She'll just have major injurys.**

**Matt: I suggest, if it's not too late, putting itching powder in their clothes when their not looking. Very immature, but fun!**

**Light: How about swiftly sticking some rotten eggs, tuna, etc. in her gym/regular locker? Have all her stuff smell like crap.**

**Misa: How about instead of making her hair spray explode in her face, you switch her can of hair spray with a similar looking can full of apple juice (or whatever). Perferably something sticky so her hair will be ruined and you shall be happy! ^^**

**L: Very uh....just Misa. Next.**

_

* * *

_

YuzukiraBirthday **asks:**

_Lol. I AINT SINGING IN THE TUB! SOMETHING COULD HEAR MEH! *Hides* C- candyman._  
_. . He'll kill me!_  
_Quarter: She read about a Movie called "Candyman", and if you say his name five_  
_times, He'll come alive at the cost of your own life. Ever since, she's been_  
_afraid of mirrors, mostly because she thinks 'The Voices' are trying to kill __her._  
_Me:THEY ARE EVIL!_

_Beyond:_  
_1: I know! I should start reading horror and get more ideas on how to kill_  
_Light! :3. Lol, anyways, don't feel bad about us being related! I actually_  
_took a quiz that said I was a "Brutal Assassin" and that 'Jack the Ripper_  
_would bow to me for he would feal INFIRIOR!' which means I'm destined to_  
_possibly end up a killer. Well, any advice on how to keep outta jail? (I'm_  
_really insane, so the people at the insane asylum would take me as soon as I_  
_laughed.)_

_2: Lol. I am ADDICTED to 'Shi no Jundo'. I DARE YOU TO LISTEN TO IT! IT IS_  
_AWESOME!_

_Misa:_  
_1: Any style tips? _

_2: Any store suggestions with Gothic/Emo/Lolita stuff? (I've been to Hot Topic_  
_BTW. I LOVE THAT STORE.)_

_Light:_  
_WELL, LET MIKAMI KILL YA ALREADY! ^^"_

_Everyone:_  
_Do you think I have a personality disorder, I'm bipolar, and could I end up_  
_Beyond's successor?_  
_Near:_  
_It's not really Purple-ish, It's just REALLY pale in sunlight, and I'm going by_  
_a Color Picker on "Paint . Net"._

**All: There is no such thing as the Candyman. And the voices are probably going to destroy the world with man-eating tacos anyway. *grin***

**Beyond: I guess that makes probably being related bearable. That is pretty solid!**

**Misa: Yes! Misa-Misa suggests that you go with something that really brings out your true color! Like if you're a red-head, don't wear a lot of red, wear a lot of darker colors to bring out the real you! I would try The Dark Angel store. They have LOTS of amazing suff! **

**Light: Uh....I would perfer not to.**

**Everyone: Yes, yes, and possibly.**

**Near: I suggest a tan. Next.**

_

* * *

_

Sadari **asks:**

_Oh poor Near..._

_...can I have another question?_  
_If a DNA test proved you're L's son, how would you react to it?_

_And to L..._  
_...to whom do you favor? Misa or Matsuda?_  
_Love you again Lighto-kun!_  
_[hope Misa doesn't hear me...]_

**Near: It would be quite shocking since we don't really look alike.**

**L: In truth I would favor neither. But since you're patiently awaiting an answer, Misa. Atleast she's blonde and has a reason for her annoyingness.**

**Light: Why thank you.**

**Misa: Oh, yes Misa did!!! **

**Ryuk: Chill Misa..... Next.**

_

* * *

_

Jeevas-on-Fire **asks:**

_I am back! And no I didn't think you were dead, Lia Sensei. I was down with __tonsils. Yay Ice cream!_  
_By the way can you bring Chief Inspector Yagami next time? I would love to see __how he reacts when at last, through the combined efforts of L, Near and Mello,_  
_Light is uncovered for the puddle of stinky hair spray he is!_  
_L: I am acrophobic. Please brainstorm to help me! After all, in the anime,_  
_whenever you and Light brainstorm, they show your hair and eyes change and you_  
_are sitting/standing on skyscrapers or something._  
_Mello: A kid in my math class gives me a hard time even though I am the_  
_smarter one. Advice please!_  
_Flame of coolness,_  
_Jeevas-on-Fire_

Oh tonsils, I remember those lovely days.... Lia Sensei. Has a nice ring to it, no? ^^ And that sounds like an epically awesome idea! Light busted for the low life that he is.

**Light: Aw crap, you're bringing my _dad _into this!?**

**Matt: I'd like to see how that plays out...**

**L: Okay.**

*Magical light effects and random conveniently placed skyscraper appear*

**L: Though you may rule this option out instantly, one way to get over a fear is to face it. So you could go sky diving, stand on a ladder for long periods of time to conquer it. Or you could see a therapist who can slowly help you over come it. Which ever works.**

**Mello: I wouldn't let it get to you. The kid's probably just intimidated by your advanced skills. But if it bothers you that much, you could gloat about how you'll have a high paying job while the kid ends up as a hobo living on random change that's dropped. See how they react to that.**

**Near: Gloating? Is that ever the reasonable way? Next.**

_

* * *

_

Undercover92 **asks:**

_The secret agent who has enough evidence at hand to get Genius Criminal Light_  
_Yagami thrown in jail, Undercover92 has arrived! _  
_*Fireworks in background* these things cost a lot. I am not gonna waste good_  
_money on that anymore._  
_Right, it'__s time to interrogate/ask for advice._  
_All: Which fruit defines you all. Beyond excluded, Lia included. Beyond is a_  
_strawberry, everyone knows that._  
_L: If I were to fail a test, what is the best way to break the news to my_  
_parents?_  
_Mello: If you were getting bullied around by a bunch of over evolved_  
_know-nothing chimpanzees, what would be the best course of action to be_  
_taken?_  
_Near: I just built a matchstick tower which is about two feet tall. What's_  
_your best? And where can I buy a lot of dice?_  
_Yours in fanship,_  
_Undercover92_

**All: Ooooh-ahhhh.**

**Misa: Misa would say a cherry! (Reason unknown...)**

**L: Most likely the grapefruit. Some often mistake it for an orange. (Stupid people at that) If it isn't too late, I would do start by being the best kid in the world and doing what I'm told and making good grades. Then I would spill the beans. Hopefully they won't be so mad as long as you're being good.**

**Mello: Uh the mango? I don't know really. Naturally you could do the "easy way" and tell an adult. Or you could try telling them that their only bullying you because their intimidated by your: looks, smarts, or etc.**

**Near: Probably the Ugli Fruit. It's commonly found in the Lemon family. My best so far is a 4.5 foot one. I would recommend Toys R Us.**

**Ryuk: The apple!!!**

I absolutely love Kiwi's! Their so small, yet so awesome.

**Matt: An orange?**

I could totally imagine an orange with goggles and a striped shirt! xD

**Light: I don't know.**

How about a lemon? You're pretty frickin sour to me.

**Light: Shut up. Next.**

* * *

BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare **asks:**

_I'm sure you all can guess who my two favorite DN characters are right? Of_  
_course you can. _

_Everybody: I'm writing a fanfic about L and BB (NOT YAOI) called L After_  
_Beyond Birthday and even though I'm far from it how do you think it should_  
_end?_

_L: Have you ever worn anything other than your long sleeved shirt and jeans?_  
_Have you ever combed your hair down before, if so did it look like Mikami's_  
_hair? Do consider Watari a friend, father figure, or servant? I think you're a_  
_really great guy and I love you. (Love as in 85% respect/admiration, 15%_  
_fangirl) _

_Light: I don't like you at all but I just have to ask where do you shop? And_  
_why doesn't your hair ever move? And also do like the fact that you look like_  
_Zac Efron?_

_Beyond: Do you look like L (as in facial features) because you wanted too, or_  
_because you just naturally look like him? Are you really a sadistic person? I_  
_read another 'ask BB' fic and that Beyond Birthday was a bit...shy and babyish_  
_and spoke in the 3rd person but still pretty sweet. Is there a difference_  
_between strawberry jam and jelly, how about strawberry spread? Oh and I really_  
_like you (friend-like) do you think that you and I could be friends? Oh and_  
_did you know that you're the funniest character on this question-answer_  
_thingy?_

_Misa: No questions for you...so...yeah...oh wait yes I do. Why do you speak in_  
_the 3rd person?_

_Mello and Matt: I don't really know alot about you guys cuz I stopped watching_  
_the show after L died, I was extremely **. But I did skip to the last ep to_  
_watch Light die. So I'll just give Mello a chocolate bar and give Matt a...Wii_  
_I guess, but don't get me wrong you guys seem really cool._

_Near: I just think your so adorable. So cuddly...If you weren't raised in_  
_Whammy's what do you think you would've been? Also would like to be friends as_  
_well?_

_Sorry if I wasn't as...energetic as the other fans but I'm 19 and I really_  
_don't do that squeally...super happy...bouncy type stuff._

_*Gives B, L, and Near pecks on the cheek *blushes** _

**L and Beyond: Hopefully without me being killed. 0.0**

**L: Only on occasions when it requires it like if I ever need to diguise myself. Nope. I would say a combination of the three.**

**Light: Abercrombie and Fitch. Because of the crappy effects done by the artist. No I don't, me and the "High-School Freak" look nothing alike.**

**Beyond: A little bit of both. Pretty much. Yes, jam is better than jelly; case closed. If you never get on my bad side, then sure. Why yes I did.**

**Misa: Because Misa enjoys it. Is there a problem with the way Misa talks? :(**

**Mello and Matt: Fine by us!**

**Near: Uh...thanks? Probably some mathematical genius stuck working at McDonalds. Sure, would you care to play chess?**

**Everyone: THANK YOU! We wish we had some less energetic fangirls.... **

Awww, how sweet! :3 Next!

* * *

_Misery's Prescription _**asks:**

_Thank you :) (Could you send the link again, it isn't showing up. Thanks :))_

_Jeez I'm really quite messed up :(_  
_Here's the thing, this dude (Who was my best friend) asked me out and I said no,_  
_but now (This was in July last year) I kinda realized I liked him :S. And he_  
_also sorta hates me I think? And I'm getting all depressive again :( In other n__ews, he kinda looks like you Beyond o-O._

**Beyond: It's giving me problems.... I'll just send it to ya instead okay?**

**Light: Why not talk to him about it? Or atleast try and find out if he _actually_ hates you?**

**Near: Some actual _good_ advice from 'Kira'? Who are you and what have you done with the real Light?**

**Beyond: Really!? Next.**

* * *

Suriwolf **asks:**

_Um... none of the guys I like even pay attention to me. I'm starting to think_  
_that maybe I'm just too ugly. People always tell me that I'm really pretty,_  
_but I tend to doubt it. Maybe I'm just not appealing to the opposite sex..._  
_Here, let me describe myself._

_I have sort of dirty blond, sort of honey-colored hair that's sort of wavy._  
_I have dark blue eyes with just a very slight brown tinge._  
_Um... I have a pretty average physique._  
_I have cute little dimples when I smile. :)_  
_I have black, rectangular glasses._  
_I am very clever._  
_I am always kind except when I'm cranky or to people I hate._  
_I LOVE anime and manga._  
_... Um, I have never kissed anyone, so I don't know if I'm a good kisser of_  
_not._  
_I am a total nerd. I love comic books, video games, sci-fi, you name it._  
_I have been known to be pretty freaking hilarious when I don't try._

_So, now that you've read all this, you tell me. Do any of my qualities make me_  
_seem undesirable?_

_Okay, love and kisses to everyone! (Except Light and Misa, 'cause I hate you __two.)_

**Mello: For me, I would say the nerdiness. Most guys go for a girl who is smart or nerdy, but some are total sshole's and would like a girl with only looks. **

**L: Nothing really seems undesirable. It just depends on the boy you like. Do you like the mega popular guys? Or the sweet, cute ones? **

**Misa: Misa says that you seem to be a beautiful person! Maybe you're just chasing the wrong guys?**

**Matt: Possibly.... **

**--**

Ryuk would you be ever so kind as to say goodbye?

**Ryuk: Absolutely! Thanks and BYE!!**

Good! *tosses apple*

* * *

**...All I can say is, BLAME DOCUMENT MANAGER. It's been giving me troubles lately....**

**Yes, my updates have been coming later and later and I apologize for that. I plan to, hopefully, update once a week like I, sorta, used to.**

**Yes I'm still working on my story. (No suprise...)**

**And how does everyone like the new format? When I was reading some of the earlier chapters, I found it hard to determine which advice belonged to whom. ^^; Hope this is easier!**

**Oh and remeber that Mr. Yagami is comin next chapter!!!! Time to bust us a Mr. Light Yagami.....**

**~Lia **


	18. Mother problems and More bullies

__

Hello, and welcome Mr. Yagami!!

**Mr. Yagami: Very nice to meet all of you.**

**Light: *sigh* Hello dad.....**

**L: Mr. Yagami sir, what is your reaction to your own son being the killer known as Kira? **

**Mr. Yagami: Well I shouldn't be suprised since he is quite a genius as to cover up such a secret.**

**Mello: So you're _okay _with him being Kira!?**

**Mr. Yagami: All in all, he is my son.**

**Beyond: But he's _Kira! _**

**Mr. Yagami: I don't care what any of you have to say, I forgive my son.**

**Light: O.o Well that didn't turn out the way I expected. I thought he would have been more mad.....**

__

--

_Diablo2000_ **asks:**

_My 23-month smaller twin brother gets me (sometimes, that is) into trouble. How do I stop getting into trouble?  
And my brother has the habit of playing games online (a little like me). How do I get to stop him so that he does not blame me?  
Thanks  
Diablo1 _

**Light: The best way to stay out of trouble or not take the blame is to keep your distance away from him, you can't take the blame if you aren't there. **

**Ryuk: Unless you can be blamed and don't even have to be there. Then you should try and have evidence handy to show that you are not to blame! Next.**_

* * *

_

_TheEvilMuffinToaster_ **asks:**

_Blew the hairspray up. Totally. B*tch didn't even see it coming...hehheh.  
Lol Misa, that's not a smart idea. Ryuk (or my friend who is obsessed with  
apples, believing they will rule the world one day) will try to eat her._

_Moar advice, rawr?_

_I learned a good friend of mine at school is being bullied. We have had the  
Mello/Near relationship for years - friends, enemies, friends, enemies: it  
depends on the mood - and the fact that she is being bullied annoys me. The  
people bullying her are boys (8th grade boys are so immature and are no fun,  
they are so easy to figure out) and calling her 'Thunder thighs' and making  
booming sounds every time she walks. Come on! Couldn't they make up a better a  
name than that? I need moar revenge ideas. I already have the location of  
where these boys live, their locker numbers and combonations, schedules, and  
their parent's numbers with tons of blackmail at the command._

_I just need some really good revenge ideas... _

_Oh L, my friend Amanda randomly told me one day that you, Near, Light and  
Beyond should start a club called 'The Rapist Club' since you all have freaky  
eyes. _

_...Did you know that Rawr means I love you in Dinosaur? _

**Misa: Well Misa thought it was....**

**Ryuk: Very true.**

**Mello: Then this is more exciting. You need to find a way to get near your enemy's house at a time you know they are home. Get a camera and take pictures of them several times. After you have three or four photos, it is time to put the photos in their lockers ****and tell them that there is a group of people who are watching their every move, and that you have cameras mounted strategically near their houses. ****There is no need to make threats (Unless you just want to), or say anything else. You have already planted the seed, and now paranoia will set in. ****Wait about a week and then take more photos and place them in their lockers. This time, don't write anything else. Let them see the photos and let them slowly go insane.**

**Light: You could use said blackmail on both boys to post all around the school and just sit back and watch the outcome.**

**L: Very....interesting of an idea? If anyone should join, it should most definatly be Beyond.**

**Matt: No I did not. I guess you learn something new everyday. Next!**_

* * *

_

_BeyondBirthday93_ **asks:**

_Hey everyone. Okay...I need some help from Matt, Mello, L, Light, and Beyond.  
Matt: How the heck do I get my friend to eat healthy foods? All he wants to  
eat is chocolate, peanut butter, and cookies.  
Mello: How would I go about getting into the mob? I'd really like to try it  
one day...  
L: How do I get rid of insomnia? I totally HATE having it...and I need advice  
on how to rid myself of the loathsome thing.  
Light: I enjoy killing people. Does that make me Kira?  
Beyond: What's the best way to kick a jam habit? Because I have one, and I REALLY need to stop...but I can't.  
If you guys can help, I'll be grateful. OH!  
-gives Matt fifteen new video games, gives Mello fifteen crates of chocolate,  
gives L fifteen bakeries, gives Light fifteen bags of potato chips, gives Near  
fifteen new toys, gives Beyond fifteen jars of jam, gives Misa-Misa fifteen  
make up kits, gives Ryuk fifteen crates of apples- THANK YOU!_

**Matt: I know the feeling.... You could try scaring them into eating healthy foods by telling them about the calories, sugar, and the obesity that comes with eating those sweets. Or you could try and make him go cold turkey by taking away said sweets. Thanks for the games!!**

**Mello: Well it's not really something you can just apply for. You need to have special skills or connections to even be considered to join the mob. Thank you for the chocolate!**

**L: Usually insomnia is caused by stress or having too much caffiene before rest. If it's stress; try seeing a therapist or talking about your problems. If it's too much caffiene; then stop with the caffiene. If it's something else; then I highly recommend a doctor. Thank you for the gift.**

**Light: In a sense, yes. Thank you.**

**Beyond: Why kick it? Well if you want to get rid of it, then I would suggest getting rid of all jam in your house and go cold turkey, just like what Matt said. Or if you have someone else living in your house, you could have them moniter you 24/7 and make sure you aren't buying or consuming any jam. Much appreciated.**

**Misa: Misa thanks you!!!**

**Ryuk: APPLES!! Next!**_

* * *

_

_YuzukiraBirthday_ **asks:**

_Now I cannot stand infront of the bathroom mirror for the voices shall surely  
kill me. (They will summon (Insert Bloody plus Mary here) and she is REAL. I  
know a girl who's little sis and friends summoned her for real. She's  
suppossed to kill you in horrible ways.)_

_Beyond:  
*Hugs cutely* I'm glad! At least we're alike! (Naomi: O.O' I really don't wanna remember that night. ._." ) Lol. __1: I have Jam. Will you promise to visit me tomorrow? Or atleast message me, Beyond!  
2: *Gets out jam and eats it exactly like you* I don't know why my friend  
thinks I'm crazy. She's never seen me eat jam, and she even threatens to call  
the insane asylum! Weird huh?  
3: What would you say if I brought your victims back from the grave? Eheheh!  
Sorry Dad! ^^" I wanted to test out the Life Note.  
4: *Runs, yelling at random object, stabs random object repeatidly* Sorry, PMS  
mixed with anger-issues. And a case of I just needed to stab something! XD  
5: *Reading Another Note on DNWiki* Do you have a fetish for girls undies? O_O  
(I LOL'd at that scene)  
6: Any places online/in real life where I can read Akazukin ChaCha in ENGLISH?!  
(I NO SPEAKY JAPANESE! XD)_

Misa:  
1: I have bronze hair, dark towards the top, and lighter at the bottom. What  
kind of clothes do you suggest for a non-sl**ty Christian girl like me?  
2: Do you hear "THE VOICES"? O.O' I sure do.

Everyone: Do you think its weird that I sometimes feel like there's  
someone/something pressing against my back, and when I move, that thing does  
to but nothings there?  
2: Am I totally insane? I really feel insane and want to randomly stab  
people/objects and other times I wanna become a Detective!!

Mello: 1: I CONTROLZ YOU! BOW DOWN TO MY AWESOMENESS...NESS! (Sorry, too much  
randomness is in my head. XD)  
2: Do you think I'm evil/insane/crazed?? *laughs maniacally* :D!

Matt:  
1: I could SO beat your a** at a game of checkers!  
2: Do you think I am obsessed with my Dad? (I actually am trying to figure out  
HOW THE HECK to put a new wallpaper on my computer and make it stay, and its a  
pic of Beyond. XD I am fangirling over my dad! Awkward!~)

**Beyond: (To Naomi) You and me both. Depends on which jam. .....I would murderously put you in time out.**

Wow. Great parenting Beyond..... **=.=;**

**Beyond: Uh...no comment. You could say that. As of reasearched, no.**

**Misa: I would go with light colors! Misa says that dark colors are okay sometimes but clash too much with your hair. Yes! They tell me such funny things, like their going to destroy the world in 2012! :)**

**All: That is quite strange. Maybe your house is haunted!? Most definatly!!**

**Mello: Under what federal law? Hell yes!**

**Matt: Checkers!? Why not Soul Caliber? Very much so, and it's pretty odd. Next.**_

* * *

_

_Sadari_ **asks:**

_L.._

_What is it with you and blondes, heh?  
You know, the Matsuda and Misa stuff, I thought you would favor Matsu... _

_Misa... _

_How do I annoy Rem? _

**L: I never really looked at it that way, but I guess I do kinda favor blondes?**

**Misa: Oh, by many ways! She especially doesn't like it when you call her a pirate or when you mistake her for a boy! (It really ticks her off!)**

**Light: She looks like a boy! They really need a gender test.... Next.**_

* * *

_

_Fingerz_ **asks:**

_Hey everyone!  
I'm a BIG fan so naturally I'll ask questions :P  
Mello: What would you do if someone forces you to pat Matt on the head and say  
"dear woogly googly Matto?''  
Mr. Yagami: I feel so sorry for you that I have no questions.  
Light: I'm strictly anti-kira but I think you are pretty good person if you  
hadn't found DN._

**Mello: ....I would solemnly shoot myself.**

**Mr. Yagami: It is quite alright.**

**Light: Thanks I guess?**

**Ryuk: What's up with you always guessing!? Don't you ever know something for a _fact!? _Next.**_

* * *

_

_Undercover92_ **asks:**

_Lia-Sensei, I like the sound that too! But enough. Today, I would like to ask  
Mr. Yagami, the chief inspector of course, that did you ever think of doing  
what Matsuda did to Light, that is shoot him if you found he was Kira?  
BB: How many jars of jam have you achieved?  
Matt: If you were to have a shinigami (I think I know the answer) how would he look like?  
Yours in fanship,  
Undercover92 _

**Mr. Yagami: Of course not! Though he did turn out to be the biggest masked murderer on the planet, he's still my son.**

**Mello: Son of the devil, that is...**

**Mr. Yagami: I wouldn't be talking little miss--**

**Mello: I'm _not_ a chic!!!**

**Mr. Yagami: Really? Then maybe you should get a hair cut!?**

**Mello: Shut-up....**

**Beyond: Hold on *finishes jar of jam* Eh, I lost count...**

**Matt: Maybe something along the lines of one of the monsters in Castlevania Judgement. (BTW Mello being my shinigami and following me around in your story is quite a change of pace! Usually it's the other way around....) Next!**_

* * *

_

_xL-iz-After-BeyondBirthdayx_ **asks:**

_Hey Peoples!  
Ok so I have a friend who frickin asked me out but, he is also my EX's friend  
and my ex still likes me but I don't know what to say. I don't like him though, but  
I also don't want to get him depressed by a messed up reply, how do I tell him  
no, but without breaking his damn heart?  
Oh, he looks a lot like Stupid Light imagaY (Yagami)  
Qs and gifts!  
L-A box filled with lollipops,"Can you please please please! Give BB a kiss on  
the cheek?" PLEASE!*Kisses L cheek, hids behihd B*  
BB-Various Knifes and 5 jars of Strawberry Jam,"Kiss L on the  
lips! PWEEZE!! You'll be tight if you do! Oh,and *Kisses B on the cheek, hides behind Matt*  
Matt-6 packs of expensive cigarettes and the game Timeshift :),"What got  
you into smoking?"~*HUgs*  
Light-NO! GO DIE!,"Can you please die?"  
Mello:Chocolate,"Do you like anything besides Chocolate?"  
Near-Legos! "Are you depressed most of the time?"  
Misa-Light plushie "Would you rather marry B or Matt?"  
Ryuk-7 Apples! "Didn't you feel like killing Light at one time in the whole series?"  
Author-A HUG! *Hug* "Do you like waffles?" _

_Thanks for Reading! Love you guys, A LOT!! _

**L: You could just come out and say that you don't feel comfortable about going out with you Ex's best friend. He should understand. **

**Misa: Misa suggests that you can tell him that you're still heart broken over you're EX and would rather not get into another relationship so fast!**

**L: Thank you. For what reason? Fine... *kisses B on cheek* Blech..**

**Beyond: *starts scrubbing face* What the crap!? Thank you, but I refuse! **

B...... 8_8

**Beyond: Fine.......... *kisses L on lips fast* *rinses mouth out with soap* GAH, L germs!!**

**L: I'm the one who suffered!**

**Matt: Gracias!! Well I got really stressed out in the 9th grade and smoking seemed to calm that stress. *hugs***

**Mr. Yagami: How rude! You know you can be arrested for federal threat!!**

**Light: Uh, it's okay dad. This is a usual thing... And why would I do that? **

**Mello: *eats chocolate* Well I like leather. Does that count?**

**Near: Thanks. No, I just don't like showing my emotions for the world to see. I rather keep them locked inside.**

**Misa: Misa thanks you!! I would probably marry Matt! Beyond's too creepy for me... 0.0**

**Ryuk: YUM! Yes, when he refused to buy me some apples! ToT**

Yay! HUG!! *Hugs* Why yes I do! Next!_

* * *

_

_LadyWillowtree_ **asks:**

_Hey hey hey! It's been forever since I sent you guys a message! (I've been __busy...)_  
_So, my questions!_

_1.) I know this is early, but I don't know what I should be for Halloween! (I __plan ahead)_  
_It's between a vampire and a Angel of Darkness. What do you think?_

_2.) Who is your favorite InuYasha Character and why? (Amusing you've seen it __=3)_

_And know, I bring gifts. You all get $50.00 dollars to Itunes. Buy some_  
_awesome Music you guys!_

_Loves and Hugs,_  
_Willow_

_P.S. Ms. Author, I can't wait to read your other story, I hope it's out soon!_

**All: Quite long! And we all get that way at times....**

**Mello: I would have to say Angel of Darkness. And my favorite InuYasha character would probably be Miroku, just cause. Thanks for the gift.**

**Near: I choose Vampire. Probably Kanna, cause some have told me that we act and look alike, though I'm not a girl. Much appreciated.**

**Light: Vampire. Well I've never really watched it, but Lia says I'm most like Renkotsu, I wonder why? Thanks, I have been needing to revamp my I-pod with more songs.**

**Beyond: Angel of Darkness! Well I do like Naraku's way of thinking. Cool! Now I can add those Bullet For My Valentine songs on my I-pod.**

**Matt: I'm pro-vampire! Most definatly Koga, he's just that epic... Can I download games to my I-pod through Itunes?!**

**Ryuk: Angel of Darkness. I've never seen the show, but I may watch it sometime. Thank you.**

**L: Vampire. I like the overall enthusiasm of Sesshomaru. Why thank you for this gift.**

**Misa: Misa votes for Angel of Darkness! Kikyo, she's just sooo pretty!! YAY! Thanks!**

**Mr. Yagami: I would suggest Angel of Darkness. I don't really care much for 'anime'. And I broke my I-pod...**

You and me both! :) For me, it's a tie between Sesshy and Bankotsu (IDK). Itunes! Thanks! Results= AoD: 5 Vamp: 4 Next!

* * *

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld_ **asks:**

_Hahahaha. This is comic genius!_

_Okay, I need some advice. How do I deal with these jacka$$es at my school? I_  
_was thinking disemboweling them with a rusty dull spork, while they're still_  
_alive. Then I could flay them, and beat them with a hammer and cut their_  
_fingers and toes off with my dull pair of scissors and then feed them to my_  
_cat. Obviously I shall not let them die this entire time..._

_Did that make me sound like Beyond? Actually when my hair gets longer, if I_  
_died it black, I would have his and L's EXACT hairstyle... creepy. And now my_  
_computer has gone schizo... it's typing in Chinese again at certain places._  
_Yes, it does that, this is the third time._

_Also... (tackles BB, L, Near, Mello, and Matt) I LOVE YOU FIVE!!_

_Anyways... I shall give gifts!_

_To L: You get the gift of Tree Bark... no. It's not REAL Tree Bark, it's white  
chocolate with peppermint bits in it. And a cake made out of sugar cubes! And_  
_a lollipop twice the size of your head._

_To Beyond: What's with everyone giving you CHAINSAWS and KNIVES? Here... you_  
_get a... BAZOOKA. And not the bubble gum, the actual thing. Also... (hugs) If_  
_you try to kill me, I'll shock you with a taser. And then tie you up with_  
_metal wire to a metal chair and set you on a radiator set on high. Mwahahaha._

_To Light: I hate you but... I should be kind. I'll give you a new brown suit,_  
_since Matsuda shot one of yours full of holes._

_To Misa: I don't like you much either but... here's a non-fat but still_  
_delicious brownie, I suggest you eat it before L or Mello jumps you, and a new_  
_disguise so you can go out on a date with Light without being_  
_mobbed/murdered._

_To Mello: Chocolate fountain and box of chocolates. And... CHOCOLATE SODA._  
_Hey, at least it isn't chocolate cheese._

_To Matt: Subscription to Gameinformer, and... Resident Evil 5._

_To Ryuk: These freakin delicious hybrid apple things._

_To Near: Bakugan toys! And a new set of pajama's, snow white in color. Also,_  
_may I kidnap you? I mean, you already live in my closet! ALL of you do._ _Haha._

_Keep writing, __Italy_

**Matt: The best approach is to ignore their ss's and move on.**

**Ryuk: I say you should stand up to them and make them quit what their doing.**

**Beyond: Actually it did.**

**L, Near, Beyond, Matt, Mello: Uh, we love you too.**

**L: Thank you for all the wonderful gifts.**

**Beyond: Yes! A BAZOOKA!! But you were going to be my first victim....**

**Mr. Yagami: Someone should really restrain you boy.**

**Light: Thank you. I did need a new one.**

**Misa: BROWNIE!! *Eats quickly* Oh Misa thanks you!!!**

**Mello: I appreciate it all. And you got a point there.**

**Matt: Thanks! I've been waiting for this game for like ever!!**

**Ryuk: APPLES!!!!!**

**Near: Thank you. And as long as there's no 'dress-up' involved. I had a bad experience once...Next.**

* * *

_BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare _**asks:**

_Thank you Ryux-Poizun-Apples for posting my questions. I really appreciate_  
_that._

_L&BB: I was going to kill one of you off...I'm sorry. I was undecided so I_  
_thought that maybe L killed B and then went crazy like what I saw in this_  
_movie once, or B killed L and declared his victory, or L thought he killed B_  
_only B is still alive (that was the Freddy vs. Jason ending) I'm not sure. Or_  
_maybe L, and Light will escape BB. But I doubt that anyone escapes BB._  
_Q: BB- Were you grateful that Naomi saved your life? I was glad she saved you_  
_personally, since your my fav character I would've hated to see you end your_  
_life in such a painful way._  
_Q: L- If you could re-live your life over again, what would you do_  
_differently? _

_Light, you really do look like Zac Efron, I hate him too and I can't believe_  
_that they would want him to play you in an American remake of the series. I_  
_think it's ludicrous and an insult to you. Q: Who do you think should play you_  
_in a movie?_

_Misa, the way you speak in third person is really annoying, it makes you_  
_sound empty-headed. _  
_Q: Did you ever really believe that Light loved you? If not, Did you really_  
_like to be used like that?_

_Mello and Matt, Hmm...I'm glad you enjoyed the Wii and chocolate. _  
_Q: Mello- Have you ever worn anything other than leather?_  
_Q: Matt- How long have you been smoking?_

_Near, you're welcome I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable, but you_  
_really are an adorable man. You're like the Honey-sempai and Momiji Sohma of_  
_Death Note (not in personality, just the fact that you look much younger than_  
_your actual age) I think the term is loli-shota, correct me if I'm wrong. And_  
_I don't know how to play chess, however if you're willing to teach I'm willing_  
_to learn._  
_Q: If you want to teach me chess, will you allow me to teach you poker? If you_  
_already know how, then I suppose I can teach you how to play Spades, correct?_

_Gift Time! :) ( I've forgotten if we can give gifts on this Q&A but in case we_  
_can...)_

_To L: I have a box of Twinkies on my refrigerator. *hands to you* Please have_  
_at it._  
_To B: Here is a jar of strawberry jam. *hands over* _  
_To Light: I don't know what you like but here's a 50$ gift card to A & F. Have_  
_fun. Consider it a belated birthday gift._  
_To Misa: Hm...I suppose I could give you a gift card to Hot Topic! My favorite_  
_store. 50$ as well._  
_To Matt and Mello: 200$ gift cards to both GameStop and Godiva Chocolates._  
_To Near: Since you like toys, I'll give you a 100$ gift card to Toys R Us._  
_Also you may have this card deck I received from Grand Casino Coushatta._

Well I appreciate that you appreciate that! If that makes sense...

**Beyond: In a sense, yes. In another sense, no. I'm glad because now I can unleash the almighty power known as Beyond Birthday. And no because I got caught. Thanks you. *devours jam***

**L: I would probably have eatin more sweets and would have _actually _caught Kira myself. I appreciate it, thank you.**

**Light: Very much an insult! Uh...probably Jared Leto, he's such a better actor than little priss Zac Efron. Thanks, I spend most my time there.**

**Misa: What!? Misa is empty-headed??? I believe that Light did love me, but in the end was blinded by pure madness and power! Yay! Misa thanks you for the gift!**

**Mello: Yes, I'm not a freak like Near who _always _wears the same thing. Chocolate!!!**

**Matt: Ever since I was 14. Mostly because of stress. GameStop!!**

**Near: I resent that Mello. No, that is the right term. Then teach you I shall. I've never played poker before, but I would be willing to learn. Thank you very much for the gifts.** **Next.**_

* * *

_

_xDevilAkaya_ **asks:**

_Hello everybody! If you guys are wondering about my username or pen name (or  
whatever fanfiction . net calls it) it's because my favorite character in "__The  
Prince of Tennis" is Kirihara Akaya, and when he gets stress that he doesn't  
need or if his pride is broken, he gets violent and hurts the oppenent he's  
playing against [in Tennis]. For some reason I think some people will get  
suspicious._

Ever since I moved to Texas ( use to live in Illinois), I started to go to  
sleep at late hours [ at 3-5 a.m in the morning], so how can I go to sleep  
before 1-2 a.m. or earlier then I do now?

"Me without reveiws is like Beyond with no jam. Thw world will end!" Why do I  
have feeling that Beyond would threaten people to get his jam? XD

L: Do you know that everybody that is reviewing and asking know who Kira is?  
Light: I find it weird that you are STILL one of my favorite characters even  
though you did kill mainly my top 5 favorite characters in. Yes, you still  
have fans :D  
Near: You are my favorite character in Death Note :3

**All: I see, very cool username!**

**Mr. Yagami: A way to get back on track with your regular sleeping hours is to maybe try taking some sleeping pills to help you sleep at descent hours. (Though I would consult an adult, doctor, or therapist before doing so.)**

**Beyond: Because I will. I'm quite serious when it comes to jam...**

**L: Yes I am aware of that. Yet **

**Light: Why thank you.**

**Near: I am honored. Next.

* * *

**

_Kurisuta _**asks:**

_Hey everyone!  
I have a real problem. I am a freshman in college and just changed my major  
from elementary education to journalism. I did this because I want to be an  
investigative journalist! My mom, however, thinks:  
A. It's too dangerous.  
B. I will most likely become a paparazzi sell-out._

So, what do you guys think I should say to my mom? And also, what do you guys  
think of investigative journalists in general? Also, I wanted to work in the  
police, but I'm not allowed to carry a gun...by federal law.  
You can ask why. I might just answer._  
Kuri-san_

**Near: I would approach this situation by telling her that it's your decision on what profession you chose to follow and that she can't protect you from everything in life.**

**L: Though that may hurt some feelings, it is good advice Near. Something else you could do is have a discussion with your mom about how interested you are in Investigative Journalism and why you wish to pursue it.**

**Mr. Yagami: I think that Investigative Journalism is a great profession to pursue! You're helping the keep the justice!**

**Beyond: I would most definatly like to know!**

--

Well what an...intresting time we've had with Mr. Yagami..... Would you uh please do the honors...?

**Mr. Yagami: Fave, review, or whatever you kids do on this fanfiction thing.**

Okay.....

* * *

******Hey hey, What's up? Document Manager is a piece of CRAP!!! I swear I'll go emo if it doesn't stop acting stupid! I'm sorry if some of your advice doesn't come out or if the format is confusing. Blame Fanfiction. :P**

**Story progressing well. Plan to have it up sooner than expected, but probably not as soon as you would like. **

**With lots of crap goin on, I seem to have forgotten my pitiful plea for reviews. So....: ****Me without reviews is like Mr. Yagami without his blindness to his son being Kira. The world will-- Wait no, only he would have ended..... Nevermind! (Yeah, much longer than usual but whatever :D)**

**~Lia**


	19. Diva's and Staying on top of homework

TheEvilMuffinToaster **asks:**

Great minds think alike Mello. The boys believe the ghost of my friend's dead cat is after them.

I thank you.

I've been asked to write a paper on a criminal's mind and what provoked them  
to become criminals. Yes, I have to go into a jail and ask people strange  
questions. Why they are making 14 year old's do this? I shall never know, it's  
like slamming a revolving door and seeing if it will stop... Onto the point,  
Beyond, what provoked you to become a serial killer? -srs face-

**Mello: What losers..... Welcome.**

**Beyond: I believe their just getting your young minds ready to become a great serial killer like me! You should look at it as an opportunity. Well after A commited suicide under stress, I found myself under a deep depression, so I guess I just snapped one day and started killing people and then it became more of an obsession.**

**L: .....You know what? That explains why there's been an increase in crime all over the world. The school's now these days are teaching kids how to become criminals and their all wondering why all the crime!? Next.

* * *

**

Kurisuta **asks:**

Hey you people!  
Thanks for the advice.  
I kind of stuck with the idea of being rebellious while somehow being  
respectful. Anywayz, I can't carry a gun cuz I'm on medication. Apparantly I'm  
"either a danger to myself or others." Okay, now the questions I didn't get to ask before.  
Light: If you had an older sibling, do you think you would develop respect for  
them and possibly a complex? If they were as smart as you? I think if you had a good influence in your life you wouldn't have strayed from your morals. Do you think so?  
L: To this day do you wish that Light hadn't been Kira and you two could've been friends?

Also, you wanna go to Starbucks? I have like fifty dollars worth of gift cards there?  
Beyond: Does the fact that the law considers me too dangerous to carry a  
weapon make me scary or interesting?  
Mello: I've been told I'm exactly like you. Should I be flattered or scared?  
Matt: *pats on head*  
Ryuk: Next time you get bored...go to Arkansas and drop a Death Note. It needs some livening up.  
Near: You remind me of my cousin. Like...a lot. It's kind of scary. Are we related?

**Beyond: I see. So if I gave you a gun right now, would you kill everyone in this room?**

**Light: Yes respect, maybe a complex if they were even smarter than me. I do think that I wouldn't have ended up dead if I hadn't strayed from my morals.**

**L: Friends? Well he does have quite a superior mind like I do so I think we would have gotten along well. Sure, just throw in a double chocolate brownie.**

**Beyond: Most definatly interesting.**

**Mello: Flattered, that you are compared to a bad*ss like me.**

**Matt: What no hug or anything? Just a pat? I feel un-loved...**

**Ryuk: Will do! I have been wanting to travel to Arkansas recently.**

**Near: I'm not sure, I've never met anyone on my mom's side. Next.**

* * *

sadari **ask:**

Now I know...* blinks *

Light.. How many times do you google 'Kira' a day?  
and  
Do you have any blood relation to Kaiba of Yugi-Oh?  
Matt.. have you already played GTA?  
sadari~

**Light: I usually don't keep track, but I do google it to see the latest fans I have gained. Uh...no?**

**Matt: Yes!! I love it!!! Next.**

* * *

Bloodyroseribons **asks:**

If you're going to kill someone you don't kill them at your house. Silly B.

**Beyond: Well it's the first place that popped in my mind... Next.**

* * *

Diablo2000 **asks:**

Hola!  
This is my question:  
Dear Light, I hate you. What can you do to me? Muahaha!!

**Light: I shall unleash the powerfulness and almightyness of the terrifying, devious KIRA!! Mwhahahaha! *clears throat* Next.**

* * *

LadyWillowtree **asks:**

Yay, Thanks for the advice =3  
I'm glad you all liked your gifts, and btw, My Favorite Inu Character is  
between Sesshomaru and Rin...

Okay, QUESTION TIME *Music Plays in the Background*

Do you believe in the 2012 apocalypse? I don't really believe, but I still  
shout out things like "But we won't be here in 2020, 2012 APOCALYPSE!" in  
school.

And I'm curious what would happen if Misa gave Near a Make-over...Would you do that for me? Thankies =3

And For your gifts...Here's $100, go crazy!

Loves, hugs, and awesomeness all around  
Willow

**All: You're welcome!**

**L: I find it to be a false accusation and everyone is overacting for nothing more than a guess. Thank you!**

**Light: For once, I agree with L. Until they have some actual proof, I won't be worried. Thanks.**

**Ryuk: I don't really care what happens to the Earth. I don't live on it. **

**Light: There be no more apples then.**

**Ryuk: WHAT!?!?**

**Mello: Personally, I believe it's all a hoax. Thank you, I could use this money.**

**Misa: Of course Misa believes!! I wonder if we'll have to live underground!? THANKS!**

**Near: I don't know why everyone's in a frantic. They predicted the world would end in 2000, but here we are in 2010 and everythings still fine. Thank you for the gift, as always.**

**Matt: I could care less, if the world ends then the world ends. Why be so scared of it? This money will be put in my special savings for games. ;)**

**Beyond: If it does, then I need to set my world record of killing 50,000 people before then! So far I've killed 153 already. JAM MONEY! **

**Misa: Yay! Make-over time!!! **

****

Near: Kill me now....

Misa: *hours later* Aww! You look sooooo cute!

Near: *looks in mirror* Why do I look exactly like you?

Misa: Because you look cute that way! Next!!

* * *

Majorfangirl ******asks:**

I'VE DONE IT! I've finally- FINALLY- gotten over my insecurity and imitation

issues! All it took was making a bunch of crazy friends in our school's musical and I feel ALIVE!  
But one of my friends, the one who convinced me to try out in the first place,  
is turning more diva-fied every day. All I hear from her anymore is who her  
family knows, what she can do, or what she did a young age. She's moving far  
away soon and I know I should really try to deal with her, but it's getting  
really hard to handle...let's just call her Diva Ginger for now. She's been my  
friend for a long time and she's really upset about moving, so I want to make  
her last two months here good...but also, I'd really like to tell her to shut

up, nobody cares. How do I manage to not go at her like a spider monkey?

****

**All: We're so happy for you!**

**Near: Try holding in those vicious thoughts of 'going at her like a spider monkey' until she moves, she's moving far away soon like you said anyways. Afterwards you can beat up and or go at like a spider monkey who ever you choose. **

**Ryuk: Is that really the most rational thing to tell her to do? Next.**

* * *

YuzukiraBirthday **asks:**

Quarter:*Glaring at screen*  
Me:Quarter! Say hi!  
Quarter:. . .  
Me: SAY HI, DARN IT!  
Quarter:Hi.  
Me:Thats better!~ ^-^

B:  
1:Don't hurt me! O_O XD I know! But don't blame me! Those are the only sane  
people I thought of when I was holding the Life Note! XD  
2:*Hugs* I dare you to sing "Cherry Saku Yuuki" By An Cafe! (And dress as Bou. XD)  
3:Do you believe in ghosts? O_O  
4:Will you still like me even if I do something horrible?

*Hides bloody knives behind my back and I have on a shirt that has red splatter on it*  
Quarter: That better be paint! O_O

Everyone:  
I hope not. I'm afraid of ghosts. But then again... this house is older than me!  
2: I'm writing a song. Does this sound good? (Please give me your own individual opinion)

The cold october air.  
Runs against my cheeks.  
I had no idea. . .  
No clue what I meant.  
What I meant to you.  
Now there is nothing left.  
We are gone with the wind.  
I.  
I.  
I never knew.  
Why do you run from me?  
What have I done to you?  
(Sing like October - Evanescence)

Misa:  
1:YAY! WE BOTH HEAR THEM! *Dances with Misa* HOORAY! *Kills random person and breaks windows* The voices told me to. XD  
2:Thanks! But I wear a lot of dark colors and they don't seem to clash with my  
hair. (BTW, I have dark-ish bronze-ish hair)

L:  
1:Any tips on cutting back on sugar? My blood sugar is at 116 but its suppossed to be at 100. ^-^"

Too many sweets.

ITS FREAKIN EASTER AND I KEEP GETTING CANDY, AND I HAVE A SMALL BUCKET OF CANDY SITTING INFRONT OF ME! ITS TORTURE!

*Cries while running around killing random pass-byers*

Oh, and B, Naomi says Hi! XD And Raye says he's gonna beat the cr*p outta you so I suggest running. O-O

**Beyond: But now their all going to kill me!!! *glares* I disown you.... I refuse after that little stunt you pulled. If I did, then I would constantly be haunted by my deceased victims. If you killed someone, then I'm okay with it, but I'm kinda scared that you ask. It's pretty good.**

**Near: I find it quite alright.**

**Matt: It seems to flow good.**

**Misa: Really!? The voices tell me to strangle everyone here to death! :) **

**Everyone except Misa: *scoots away***

**Misa: I love it!!!**

**L: The best thing to do is isolate yourself from any sugary treats for a while. Nice song.**

**Beyond: Why the crap is Raye here!?!?! Got to go!**

Sit down cowboy. *Tapes to chair*

**Beyond: You want me to die don't you!? **

Well maybe I wouldn't if you'd stop stealing my chainsaw!! Next.

* * *

Italiangurlinamessedupworld **asks:**

HI! Mwahahahahaha. Don't ask. Or you may. Whichever you like.

The jerks are still bugging me and EVERYONE gives me different advice, is it  
normal to daydream about brutally murdering people? Because that's what I've  
been spending my class periods doing, especially math...  
Anyways... I probably should have taken my Concerta today, ADD ya know... or not.

Misa... do you secretly like sugar and are just skivving it off to stay "thin"?

Cause, you know... you're kind of an Anime Twig...

...Matt you're even cooler than ever because you like KOGA. Koga es DIVERTIDO, AKA FUN.

He entertains me to no end, I wish there were more of him in the series...

which I should really start watching again.

And Zac Efron can't play Light, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even my worst  
enemy... who just do happens to NOT be Light, isn't that good to know. Not everyone completely hates you (I'm just mad because 4 out of 5 of my favorite characters deaths were caused directly or indirectly because of you. You were cooler when you didn't have your memories.)

I've been feeling depressed lately and now I have an extreme case of writers  
block and I haven't been doing my school work lately, WHAT SHOULD I DO? Also,  
it's mostly because I'm feeling unmotivated, I sit there and think 'I'm  
hungry...but I don't want to move.' So I starve.  
Mostly I need advice from Light about the school work thing. Luckily I'm on Spring Break. YES!

Anyways... can I have a hug from everyone, I'm going to have a mental  
breakdown soon, so it's best to get one now...

And thanks for the totally unenthusiastic love from L, Near, Mello, Matt, and  
Beyond. That lie totally made my day.

On a random note: Do you guys like chick flicks... and I have a dare for ALL  
THE GUYS, Misa can stand back and watch... if the rest of you aren't too  
chicken to take the dare that is...

Poor Near, what was you're bad experience... if you don't mind my asking, if  
you do, too bad. Answer it anyways please. YOU GET THAT TOYS R US STORE IN NEW YORK CITY WITH THE 2 STORY TALL FERRIS WHEEL INSIDE AND A SIX FLAGS!

PRESENT TIME:  
Is there anything you guys would like that HASN'T been mentioned?

L: HOMEMADE FROM SCRATCH CARROT CAKE! And... doughnuts (laughs) Don't ask,  
trust me you DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. It's a Yaoi Fangirl thing thing...

BEYOND: Hm... Book of Mental Torture Techniques and... Homemade strawberry jam,  
and... Senbon needles... if you know what those are. If not... too bad. Have  
fun *hugs* And the threat from last time still stands. I have a metal room set  
aside JUST IN CASE all rady for you.

LIGHT: Hmm... I shall give you... a fake Death Note to let your frustersations  
out with and... uh... chocolate covered and regular potato chips... HOMEMADE of both.

MISA: Makeup and... YOUR OWN BEAUTY SALON! Enjoy.

Mello: I have to slightly brag... I got a leather vest AND jacket. So... you  
get... chunk of chocolate the size of your head and... AND NEW LEATHER JACKET,  
only not mine, cause that one is MINE.

Matt: Hm... all the Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy games.

Ryuk: Erm... apples... and Gummi Apple Rings. DON'T LET L NEAR THEM THEIR YOURS!  
Thanks for the advice!  
Keep writing,  
Italy

**Beyond: *still taped to chair* I would like to know. Actually, it's a normal thing.**

**Misa: Misa eats sugar every once in a while!! Misa just doesn't want to become fat. **

**L: As opposed to me? **

**Matt: I agree for both statements. **

**Light: Who could hate the main character? And are all fangirls mad!? ZAC EFRON IS FAIL! Something I would do for the school work is to find the motivation inside of you to do it or you could try doing something fun for your Spring Break plus relaxing. After a relaxing and fun vacation, you should feel the motivation you need.**

**All: Sure. *GROUP HUG***

**L, Near, Matt, Beyond and Mello: You know how many fangirls say the same thing to us 24/7!? We are sorry. We love you!**

**All guys: Uh....kinda? We're scared.....**

**Near: Well some random fan girl took me home and dressed me up as every female lead in every anime. It was pure torture. Thank you, I've been wanting to go to Six Flags.**

**L: That makes me scared..... How about some caramel apple cake?**

**Beyond: I shall put these to good use. *Hug* I'm willing to take that chance...**

**Light: Ah, I have been needing something to relieve my stress, especially since L took away my Death Note.....**

**Misa: BEAUTY SALON!!!!!!! Misa would like an all expense payed trip to the Bahamas!!**

**Mello: Sweet, now we'll be like twins. Thanks. I could use a new machine gun. Mines kinda.......lost.**

**Matt: Gracias! What people don't know is that I'm interested in game designing, but I lack the equipment.**

**Ryuk: I will guard them with my life. Next!**

* * *

BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare **asks:**

I'm back! Sorry to be such a bother. I just started a new quarter in college  
and now I'm a sophmore. Unfortunately I failed two classes last quarter  
(online courses).

All: Any ideas on how to stay on top of homework?

Light: I agree with you. I guess you're not SO bad after all. I might actually start to like you.

Favorite band?

Misa: I see...that's very possible...you're welcome for the gift. Favorite band?

L: Who would you like to see portray you in an American remake? I think that Johnny Depp would be best. Favorite band?

BB: Would you like if an anime movie were made based off your book?

I would be the first in line to see it! Favorite band?

Mello: You should be nice to Near, he's never mean to you from what I can see.  
What's your favorite band?

Matt: I love games too. I'm going to buy one of those pokemon games that came out.

Which one would you buy? HeartGold or SoulSilver? Favorite band?

Near: I thought I was right. Did you ever have any feelings for Linda or any other girl?

Favorite band?

Time for presents!

L: I have baking and pastry this quarter so you get chocolate eclairs.  
BB: I'm going to give you 200 dollars worth of jam.  
Light: Hmm...I'm going to give you another gift card this time for Banana Republic.  
Misa: You can have another Hot Topic GC for $100.  
Matt: I have two GCs that have $200 apiece on them, they're Visa gift cards so you can use them anywhere.  
Mello: You get the same thing as Matt.  
Near: You get another GC for Toys R Us, I put $300 on it this time.

*Hugs Light, Misa, BB, L, Near, Matt, Mello, and authoress*

**All: Welcome back and we're sorry.**

**L: I would keep a check list and a timed schedule on the amount of time that should be spent on completing your homework.**

**Matt: A way to stay on top of homework is to, yes manage your time wisely like L said, and to make sure that once you're on top of homework, to stay on top of it or you shall fall behind again.**

**Light: I'm glad you think so. *sparkles* I would have to say, Muse? Thank you for the gift.**

**Misa: Misa absoluetly loves Justin Bieber!!! Wait, is he a band??? YAY!!! GIFT!!!**

**L: Johnny Depp would do good as the part. The group Panic Channel. How delightful!**

**Beyond: Very much so. Who doesn't want to see my brillant plan carried out and then destroyed on the big screen!? Thanks, now you will be on my list of who not to kill. GREENMACHINE all they way!**

**Mello: That's the thing, he acts nice but he's actually an evil genius! X-Japan is my favorite. Thanks.**

**Matt: I'll probably buy both, but I'll buy Soulsilver first just cause. See, I can use this to buy both now! I love Gazette!**

**Near: Not really. None of the girls at the orphanage seemed to appeal to me. Though it's debatable, I like Janne Da Arc. Thank you very much. **

**All: *Group hug* Next!**

* * *

Reno321 **asks:**

I don't remember if this question was already answered,so...

Specifically to Light and L:

When you two were handcuffed together, how did you...you know...*this is  
getting awkward*... er...sleep?  
Go to the bathroom...or *coughcough* other bathroom related activities?  
*coughreallyawkwardcough* Change? (although you never really see L wearing  
anything different o.0)  
*seriously awkward moment*...  
?!?! (translation: I'm so  
sorry Misa-misa please don't kill me can you forgive me?!?!)

**Light: Uh..... well both of us didn't really sleep. And uh.... L, you answer this one.**

**L: Fine. We, sadly and awkwardly, had to go in the bathroom together but would turn away at our own expense. Well I really don't change and there were a couple of times I made Light not change for several days.**

**Misa: Misa will forgive you since you begged and pleaded so much!!! :D NEXT!!

* * *

**

xL-iz-After-BeyondBirthdayx **asks:**

Haha,Thanks!  
I took L's advice, I texted him, I haven't talked ot him in a month...It worked out! :3  
haha lol Okay... and I need help on one more thing...

This question and dare..Is for L and BB  
"Why?!" Why what? "Why don't you guys love eachother?!" *sob*  
"You guys are cute together!" *sob*

Matt,*stares* You are sooo hot. :3 I dare you to kiss Mello. :D

Light, Cause I would like to see you die once more.  
Misa, Matt? Aww, I was sure you would say BB. :/ I mean you and BB are cute together! But I'm more of BBxL fan ^^ *sigh*

Author, Haha, I know! they are soo yummie! *high-fives*  
*whispers in your ear*  
"Seduce Light"

**L: Glad it worked out! **

**L and B: *Points at eachother* But I hate him!!**

**Matt: WHAT!?!? Dude, he's my friend!**

The reviewer get's what the reviewer wants.

**Mello: I seriously hate you right now Lia.**

**Matt: *quickly kisses Mello and starts rubbing mouth* Never again!**

**Light: Well you'll have to wait a while then.**

**Misa: EWW! Misa finds Beyond to be creepy! Misa wouldn't date him, I can atleast handle Matt!!**

Haha! *High fives* ........But he's a icky mean face!!!!

**Mello, Matt, Beyond, and L: "The reviewer get's what the reviewer wants", Lia. *Shoves Lia in room with Light***

*Shouts from room* You can lock me up but I won't do it!!!

**Beyond: Oh she will.**

-- **~While in Bedroom~**

I hate you.

**Light: You started this. You're the only one to blame.**

....I'm not going to seduce you.

**Light: Good, I wouldn't associate myself with you anyway.**

Why do you always have a stick up your butt??

**Light: Because you put it in there!**

O.o I did? Um....review and please someone get me out of here!!!!

**Light: She's stupid enough to forget that she can use her author powers.**

* * *

**Hi. So yeah... I'm not going to bore you with a story about my life because you must get bored of all the authors/ess's always talking about their lives so I'm going to give you a break!**

**Plus I have nothing to say. ^^' **

**Adios!**

**Me without reviews is like Near without toy robots. The world will end!!!**

**~Lia **

**P.S. I actually loathe Justin Biever. **


	20. How to steal the world's cupcakes

**Near: *opens door***

______________________________________

*Tumbles out* Thank god!! *cough* Not you Light *cough* You have no idea how long this guy can talk about his hair!

**Light: *Walks in* I rather talk about my hair then talk about your plan for "World Domination".**

**Mello: So, did you seduce him?**

Crap no!!!

**Matt: *Drags her back in room***

RAPE!! RAPE!! Someone help me!!!!!

* * *

_TheEvilMuffinToaster _**asks:**

_You have no sense of humor L. For that, I will throw a dorito at you._

I've had another dilemma. There is this boy that keeps bugging me. I'm tempted to  
stink-bomb his locker, but my friends tell me that's a no go. What should I do to get this boy off my back.

This is so amusing. Well tataloo, I'm off to read yaoi **.

**L: *Gets hit with dorito* That actually hurt! And I was expressing my views, thank you very much.**

Duh there going to hurt. You're not super-human just cause you're in a fanfic. And I thought you were a genius.... :p

**L: I am, go google it.**

**Ryuk: Some humans are no fun. I guess you can just stand up to the guy with a group of friends and "make" him stop forcefully.**

**Matt: Or you could say:** "**Stop bugging me and keep your distance from now on or when I walk by, you will find a lemur stuffed in a place you would have never expected to find one." I know that would make me keep my distance.**

**Misa: OH OH! Can Misa come with!? Misa loves Yaoi! Next!**

_

* * *

_

_YuzukiraBirthday **asks:**_

_B! DON'T DISOWN ME! And wait till you meet my boyfriend! He's from a show called "Axis Powers Hetalia"! LIET! GET IN HERE!_

_Liet: H- hello. . . *Shoulder-length brown hair, green eyes and he looks about 19 years old*_

_B:  
1: Lol. Sorry about that! XD I dare you to sing 'Marukaite Chikyuu - Russia'.  
2: I'm learning Russian. Listen! *Coughahem* Proshu Proshanija. Vy ponimaete po-angliski? (Excuse me, do you speak English?)  
3: I am currently listening to "America's Storage Closet cleaning: Nostalgia" and it's SO BEAUTIFUL! *Sobs* you listen to it!!  
4:*Kisses Liet* How does that make you feel?_

_Everyone: Do any of you watch Axis Powers Hetalia? I LOVE IT!_

_L: I DARE YOU TO WATCH EP 29 OF HETALIA! IT'S SO GOOD! (It's where my boyfriend, Liet is shown. He is called "Lithuania" by the others.)  
_

**_Beyond: *watches episode* He seems like a whimp. Only a verse:_**

**_Nee nee papa vodka no choudai  
Nee nee mama nee nee mama  
Mukashi ni tabeta pirozhki no  
Ano aji ga wasurenainda (In Russian)_**

**_Beyond: It makes me feel quite sickened that my hypothetical daughter is dating a skinny boned chicken. I feel disturbed..._**

**_Near: I have actually seen the anime. I like how Latvia is such a loud mouth._**

**_Matt: I have also seen the anime. I enjoy it!_**

**_L: *Watches* It's pretty good, I may watch the series. Next.

* * *

_**

_G.S **asks:**_

_Hi...  
I need everyone's advice. If somebody was going to capture the entire earth's  
supply of cupcakes, how would one go about doing that? Not like I'm going to do that or anything... _

_*innocent smile* So, help pls? *whisper voice to L* Help me and 50% is yours plus I'll give you strawberries. ^.^  
Glass~_

**_L: Really? 0.0 Then I'll help! The best way to go about doing that is hiring a bunch of loyal spies to secretly go around the world and collect the world's entire supply of cupcakes. Atleast that's what I would do._**

**_Ryuk: I'm not really fond of cupcakes, but I'll help. L's idea is good, but instead of spies why not try ninjas?? They would get the job done better._**

**_Mello: Hypothetically speaking; I would kidnap the president, ambassador, king/queen, or ruler of each country and hold a ransom that nobody will be harmed unless the entire world's cupcakes are handed over. Very effective, no? Next._**

_

* * *

_

_sadari **asks:**_

_Ryuk  
... want some sugar coated apples?  
L  
...Light will admit he's Kira if you wear 4 pairs of socks under your converse shoes, will you do it?_

**_Ryuk: YES!!!_**

**_L: *looks over at Light* I'll do it! *puts on 4 pairs of socks then puts on converse* Now admit it Light!_**

**_Light: No way._**

_Bwhahahaha!_

**_L: You guys suck. Next._**

_

* * *

_

_Kurisuta **asks:**_

_Nice to see you again!  
In response to Beyond's question, I would only kill everyone if I was a manic and threatened. _

_It's a little bit like provoking a feral animal, I guess.  
Aw, Matt, sorry for not hugging you! *hugs*  
Near, if I told you I did a search and we are cousins, how would you feel about it?  
L, the brownie's a given. Is this trip to Starbucks your first date?  
That's all for now. Oh wait...*pours pink lemonade on Mello's head* _

_That's for every mean thing you ever did to Near! (Well someone had to do something) _

_Authoress, I'll give you gingerale if you lock Mello in a closet so he can't kill me!_

**_Beyond: You're no fun...._**

**_Matt: It's okay *hug*_**

**_Near: As long as you're not some crazed fangirl, I would be fine with it._**

**_L: Technically, yes._**

**_Mello: *steams* I'm gonna kill you!!!!!!!_**

_Change that gingerale ale to cookies and you got a deal! *Throws Mello in closed and locks door*_

**_Mello: Now I'm going to kill both of you!!!_**

_Just let him cool down. He'll be fine. Next!_

_

* * *

BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare **asks:**_

_Thank you for the advice. I'm going to have to work extra hard now since I got  
a job. I haven't had time to study for my Baking and Pastry exams so I've  
failed the first two and missed turning in a journal...not how I wanted to start off the new quarter._

_L & BB: Is there a chance that the two of you could reconcile your differences?  
BB: You shouldn't say it like that! You are the man who almost outsmarted the  
world's greatest detective. I think that that alone should make you very  
proud. I'd never thought I'd say this to a serial killer, but take pride in  
your accomplishments, for they will never be duplicated.  
Light: Did you ever love Misa, with or without your memories of the DN? If not, was she always just a pawn or did you at least like her as a friend?  
Misa: How do view Kiyomi Takada?  
Mello: How did you like your English dub voice? It seemed a bit too deep to me.  
Matt: Do your goggles impair your vision?  
Near: What is your ideal woman?_

_Gifts:  
L: I made you an apple pie I hope you like it.  
BB: I made you a very special strawberry jam pie.  
Light: I noticed that you have a desktop. A laptop is much more convienent. *hands laptop*  
Misa: I'm sure you shop at Victoria's Secret. Here's a 100$ GC.  
All: (including Authoress): Season passes to Disneyland Resort and Spa, you all deserve a vacation for putting up with all us fans.  
*Group hug*_

**_L and Beyond: Uh uh._**

**_Beyond: Yes, but I could have been the one succeeding if it wasn't for the freakin Naomi.... Thank you, I've never had the combination of jam and pie before._**

**_Light: Well at first I found her to be attractive and did like her, but she wound up being oblivious to the world around her and became dimwitted. I'm suprised she was smart enough to not be caught by L so easily at first. Why thank you, I have been needing a laptop._**

**_Misa: Misa viewed her as back stabbing *itch with the worst hair cut ever!! Yay, I LOVE Victoria's Secret!! _**

**_Mello: *still in closet* I do agree with you there. It was a little too deep for my liking. But atleast it wasn't too high._**

**_Matt: At first it did, but I've just gotten used to it over the years. _**

**_Near: Anyone that does not fit the description of Misa._**

**_Misa: You're not very nice for a sheep Near..... _**

**_All: Woohoo! Disneyland!!!! *BIG group hug* NEXT!_**

_

* * *

_

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld **asks:**_

_Hi! I still haven't taken my Concerta... for 3 weeks. So forgive me if I seem a little... twitchy._

_Okay, Near's exempt from this challenge I issue to the guys, because of what  
already happened to him... if that's any hint to what I'm about to dare you..._

_I HERE BY DECLARE THAT ALL THE DEATH NOTE GUYS EXCEPT FOR NEAR MUST DRESS AS  
GIRLS FOR THE NEXT 5 CHAPTERS! For this dare you can't wear pants! Only skirts! Or short-shorts, but not  
everyone can wear short-shorts and can only wear them once out of the 5 chapters!_

_NOW  
I'm glad my daydreams about brutal murder are normal for insane folks, but I  
think I would like the actual sane characters to answer this one for me.  
Beyond, I love you and all... but you're not exactly the best person to answer  
whether or not it's normal...  
_

_Misa... stop dieting, you're a twig. -_-_

_I don't COMPLETELY hate you Light... I have a completely love of the Wammy's  
Boys... which all except one died because of you. Wedy did too, and she was  
the coolest girl. That's why I have an extreme dislike of you. And I had  
issues after L died, but you're death satisfied that, no more extreme hatred for you..._

_And thanks for the advice, I'm trying. And we gave speeches in class and despite my extreme anti-socialness, I got 95 OUT OF 100! So now I'm extremely happy.  
_

_I'm glad you can go to Six Flags Near._

_Thanks for the hug everyone, and I did have a mental breakdown, though it was  
more of a Paranoid Schizophrenic mental breakdown, I thought there were people  
outside my window and they would eat me. So I would alternate bewtween  
laughing, crying, and screaming. I'm surprised my mom didn't wake up..._

_Matt, Mello, Beyond, L, and Near... it's fine that you don't really love me,  
because it'd be slightly weird if you did. Unenthusiastic fake love is as good and Enthusiastic real love. Don't worry._

_NOW MY QUESTION:  
I need speech making tips, like eye contact and such, because my extreme anit-socialness won't let me make much._

_PRESENT TIME:  
Near (no I'm NOT forgetting you this time): You get... a videocamera - to take  
the next five chapters of this, and all the old McDonalds toys, because the new ones suck.  
L: You get Caramel apple cake, have you ever had caramel apple suckers?  
Beyond: Kunai knives, a scythe, and another hug. Same threat still stands. Am I on your, 'To Kill List', and what's the best way to hide a body?_

_Light: Barbeque potato chips, because that's your favorite kind in the english  
translation, and Consume, because that you're favorite kind in the original  
version. I don't know if there's a difference. I'd give you an L doll, but I  
don't even own one yet... sadly. Have you ever cosplayed? If so, who?_

_Misa: Trip for 2 to the Bahama's, and more non-fat goodies!_

_Mello: Yes! I wish we were real twins, but I look nothing like you (and  
probably have shorter hair as-of-this-moment) You get a new motorcycle, and  
helmet, because Takada lit your old one on fire. Also, a machine gun. Please  
don't shoot me! Where did you lose your machine gun? And how exactly do you  
lose a machine gun? Then again I can't talk, I've lost a lawn mower...  
_

_Matt: The F.E.A.R. games, because they look so fun. Also, game designing  
equipment. Because you would probably make the best games. If you could turn  
any game into a movie, which one would it be and why?  
Ryuk: Caramel Apple emanadas, and apple turnover, and just a cruiseship full  
of apples, made of apples. Did Light have any yaoi ** from when L was watching him?  
Anything else you guys would like?_

**_All guys except Near: WHAT!?!?!?!?! Lia, you seriously won't make us do this right?_**

_Wrong! *Makes the guys put on skirts* Haha you're awesome Italiangurlinamessedupworld-chan!_

**_Mello: I choose to wear my short-shorts now! _**

_Okay, but that's your only short-shorts break._

**_L: No, that actually isn't sane unless you have a criminal record. Man these things are drafty!_**

**_Misa: Misa's a twig? :_**

**_Light: Actually, you do hate me. You're making me wear a skirt! _**

**_Near: Well I'm glad I'm not the one in a skirt._**

**_Matt, Mello, Beyond, Near, L: Good. :)_**

**_(no skirt wearing) Mello: It will probably help if you practice eye contact and projection with friends, family, or just doing it in the mirror._**

**_Near: Thank you. *video tapes Mello*_**

**_Mello: Get the out of my face!_**

**_L: No actually._**

**_Beyond: Thanks. Because you seem very serious about the threat, you're no longer on my list. Probably by stuffing it under your house. No one will ever know...._**

**_Light: Thanks. I have cosplayed as Lelouch from Code Geass. I've heard we're much alike, but I don't see it._**

**_Misa: Yay!! Ooooohhh Light!!!_**

**_Mello: Much appreciation. Don't worry, only if you piss me off. I can't remember where.... I don't know, how do you lose a lawn mower? _**

**_Matt: Thanks a bunch! Most definatly Metal Gear Solid. I would make this into a movie if I could because of the whole plot! With the right equipment and the right actors, it could be a success._**

**_Ryuk: *drools* He always said he didn't, but he forgets that I'm a shinigami... Next!_**

_

* * *

_

_Undercover92 **asks:**_

_I have been kept down for some time but they will keep me down no longer!  
I am back! "Blood curdling horror music, if anyone has heard it, is heard in the background."  
L: Have you ever tried to lead a normal life starting with an escape from Wammy House? _

_You are smart enough to do so and you r smart enough to realize the benefits.  
Mello: They say chocolate clogs up capillaries in the brain and makes people lose their temper. Is that true for you?  
Ryuk: Oi, I think hollywood is stealing the idea of a shinigami! Flattered?  
That's all for now.  
Undercover92_

**_All: *applaudes* We are glad you are doing better, and welcome back Undercover92-chan!!_**

**_L: I've considered it but didn't go through with it because if I did escape, I would have nowhere to go plus leading a normal life would get very boring._**

**_Mello: *Holds back sudden burst of rage* N-n-no._**

_Yes._

**_Ryuk: I swear, can't hollywood come up with their own ideas anymore?? Next._**

_

* * *

_

_asteriaphoebe **asks:**_

_This is nice!! Now I think that Misa isn't really annoying (at least in this story)  
Well I need some advice. I'm a sleepy girl that sleeps anywhere anytime. What should I do to stay awake? _

_I've tried to drink coffee but they only give me a headache. Sorry if my english is bad! Keep updating!!_

**_Misa: Awww thanks!! Misa loves you! :3_**

**_Near: You could try getting your sleep schedule on track so that you are awake during the day and asleep at night. _**

**_Beyond: Ever try caffeine? Lia only drinks like a can of Mt. Dew and shes wired for the entire day._**

_It's true...._

**_Light: Pain. This is kind of an emergency procedure. If you can't stay awake consider pinching yourself. I know it's a little strange, but pain can keep you awake. Next._**

**_

* * *

_**

_Always-Aftermath **asks:**_

_Hey! I'm new! Love the fan fic!.  
People are making fun of me for eating jam with my fingers! It's fun! How can I get the basterds to stop teasing me?!  
L and Light: can u 2 kiss pwease? *puppy eyes of doom*  
Near: hug? And can you help me with this 10 piece puzzle and I'm 1/2 way done.  
I got it 5 min. ago! And can you go out with me? Please?  
Mello and Matt: Hug! *puppy eyes of doom* can I have a hug 2?  
Misa: the mall across the street is having a 3/4 off sale! Run!  
Beyond: can you be my big bro? Pwease? *mega puppy eyes of doom*  
Oh! Beyond? Do you have a gun? If so what kind?  
Author: awesome fic! Keep going!  
-Alice-_

**_All: Welcome!_**

_**L: I would consider** **letting someone know that they're really annoying you. If you have to, have a talk with a counselor or teacher when you can to let them know the others are distracting you.**_

**_Matt: Because they're insecure ssholes who feel like taking out their self consciousness on you.  
Which means whatever they joke you about isn't even worth it. Plus karma will take care of them._**

**_Light and L: *looks at eachother* Heck no. _**

_*Forces them to kiss*_

**_Light and L: I'm burning my mouth...._**

**_Near: Sure. *hug* Well I do love puzzles. Uh, are you a physcotic crazed fangirl?_**

**_Mello: Well I'm kinda still in a closet. Kinda hard to hug someone while locked in a closet._**

_Fine..... RUN KURISUTA!!! *unlocks closet door*_

**_Mello: I'm relaxed._**

**_Matt and Mello: Okay. *Hugs eachother* Why not? *bear hug*_**

**_Misa: Sale!?!? *Dashes off* _**

_How does she even know where to go??_

**_Beyond: Okay, I've never had a younger sibling. Yes I do actually. It's a 1911 Pistol. _**

_La la la la. Mattie-Matt?_

**_Matt: Love it, review it. *whispers* Buy me Shell Shock!!!_**

_*Whacks over head*_

_

* * *

_

**_Well you all should be happy to know that my new story is almost done. I just need to add a few things and then proofread it. So stay on the look out...._**

**_ANYMOO, Me without reviews is like Misa without make-up. The world will end!!!_**

**_~Lia _**

**_P.S. I know Victoria's Secret! It's her underwear. x] (Random)_**


	21. Bad spending habits

Bum bum buuuuum! Chapter 2 of "skirt wearing madness!"

********

**Light: Joy...**

**Beyond: I'm taking a break for today.**

**Matt: Me too! **

Fine, but this is you're only break!

********

**Mello: *has to put skirt back on* I hate** **Italiangurlinamessedupworld...**

_The Music Woman _**asks:**

_I'm actually majorfangirl and I'm reviewing from my iPod! Forgive any typos and feel free to make corrections._

I have terrible spending habbits. If I have money I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO SPEND IT, NO QUESTIONS! 

_For example, I have some money that I am trying not to spend so that the next time someone takes me to the mall, I can get me a Ryuk keychain. (FEEL IMPORTANT!) _

_Or, recently, my algebra class went to King's Island for math and science day. _

_My mom gave me fifty dollars. __I left with five and all I had to show for it was a bag of candy. _

_(Stuff is expensive! That bag cost me twenty bucks!)  
So, it can be seen that I have a problem with da cash moneyz._

********

**All: Hello Majorfangirl!**

**Matt: I way to help with your spending habits is to not take anymore money than you _absolutely _need. **

**Beyond: Either that or tie you to a chair so you can't possibly spend anymore money.**

**Ryuk: I feel appreciated. : Next!**

* * *

_L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl. _**asks:**

_Beyond: DON'T CALL TORIS A CHICKEN! (Toris = Lithuania's human name) _

_HE HAS FRICKIN SCARS ON HIS BACK FROM A WHIP THAT RUSSIA USED ON HIM! _

_*Gets out various photographs*_

Liet: W- WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE?

Me: I have my resources. (I swear, Hungary-chan is a NINJA!)

1: Lol. I love that song! I also have heard Liet-kun's version! Its very good! You should listen to it!

2:HE IS NOT A SKINNY-BONED CHICKEN! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE HAS TO GO THROUGH  
WHEN RUSSIA IS EITHER DRUNK, ANGRY OR DEPRESSED! *hugs Liet protectively*

Liet: O/O (He doesn't get hugs often. Much less by a girl. The only girl he really see's often besides me is Belarus who breaks his fingers for no reason.)

Light:  
1:Live with Russia cosplaying as Liet for a week and see how it feels!

Everyone:  
1:Don't worry. I'll put camera's up so you can see what its like living with the Baltics.

BYE! (P.S: Yeah, this is YuzukiraBirthday. I changed my username.)

********

**Beyond: Well excuse me for expressing my opinion. **

Well you could have done it in a nicer way, Beyond!

********

**Light: I would, but I'm currently in a "skirt-wearing" challenge...**

**All: You're pulling an L. Next!**

_

* * *

_  
_Rachy-Neko-Chan _**asks:**

_To everyone:_

I have a really big test coming up that decides alot of stuff for the next year of school (Ugh) for meh, how should I prepare?  
(Note: I am a A-B student, but I like being prepared and sure :D)  
Also, any advice on how to clean my filthy room? I really want my own computer and Sims back D:

********

**Near: The best advice I can give is to study hard and not wait to do it at the last minute.**

**Ryuk: Also another great thing to do is to make sure you get plenty of rest and eat a heathly breakfast the morning of your tests.**

**Mello: Some advice on how to clean your room is to start by putting away all of the things that are piled on top and then work your way down. You could also motivate yourself with the fact that you'll get your own computer and such. And some advice on how to _keep _it clean is to put things away the first time instead of throwing it down and 'picking it up later'. Next.**

_

* * *

_

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld_ **asks:**

_Hi! I'm back on my Concerta and - OH LOOK A SHINIGAMI!_

Haha, and you all thought I was going to say squirrel didn't you?

Anyways...

I'm not the awesome one, you are for writing this! For that you get... Mountain Dew and... 

_10 things of you're choosing!_

I especially thank you for making them wear skirts, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And Light... L is one of my favorite characters and I'm forcing him to wear a  
skirt, same thing thing with all the other guys. What can I do to prove that I  
don't completely despise you? Or hate you really, you just ** me off a bit... :)

Yes Misa, you are a twig... and...Misa... you like... yaoi?

...You are 100 percent redeemed in my eyes. Have you ever watched/read Junjou Romantica?

I had a bad day the other day... this made me feel better.

What exactly happened was... my cell phone went off and it's the seen where  
Light's taking a potato chip and eating it, only he's taking a potato chip and  
going OM NOM NOM NOM... and it was in the middle of Driver's Ed class... then 

_about 1 minute later I got a nosebleed -_-..._

How's the skirt wearing, guys?

AXIS POWERS HETALIA?

So I'm officially insane now? Well despite the possible  
paranoid-schizophrenia because I swear to God PEOPLE LIVE UNDER MY WINDOW AND IN MY WALLS... 

_t__hey want to kill me, I can feel it!_

Moving on...

HOW COME GUYS ARE SUDDENLY TALKING TO ME? ... granted some of it is  
harassment... but I'm used to that. O_O, it's seriously scaring me, because usually unless we're friends guys don't talk to me...

PRESENT TIME

L: You get Carmel Apple Suckers, just cause their cool. 

_What's one song that seems to fit you/your life style really well? Are you a secret agent man?_

Near: I'm running out of things... you get a mechanical teddy bear... Do you like unicorns? 

_Is your house full of evil clowns?_

Light: Hm... you get... um... Jeez you're hard to shop for... new tennis racket, I know it's lame. 

_You also get a hug! I'm sure you looked marvelous inyour cosplay. Reeeeeeally, you had yaoi snufficles? _

_You don't have to answer that. If you could choose any mythical creature to be, what would it be and why? _

_Do you bring sexy back? XD_

Beyond: You get... a guillotine, and a stretcher rack, and tasers! It's easy to think of what to get you, I just think of what I want... Mwahahahahaha. Do you scare people with your laugh, I know I scare people with mine... also... are they coming to take you away?

Misa: Trip to Venice, Italy for two... TAKE PICTURES! I so wanna go there myself... If you could take a tour of any country which one and why? Are you a barbie girl?

Mello: I'll try not to do that... erm... well I had to bring it to school and we put it by a dumpster and despite the fact that it wasn't garbage day during class when I went to get it... it was gone! Don't tell anyone, my mom still  
doesn't know... haha... anyways, you get... _Chocolate fountain, and... a house made out of chocolate, I wouldn't suggest getting mud on the floors. Have you ever felt like a woman? _

_(Sorry, I've been wanting to ask a guy this for a while now!)_

Matt: You get... a gaming arcade. And the Zelda games. If you could be any  
video game character, who would it be? Are you a geek in pink?

Ryuk: You get a volcano made of apples and eruptes apples at least 3 times a week... are you thankful for the memories?

There is something up with at least one of each of the questions I gave each of you, it's a pattern! O.O

********

**All: Actually, we would expect such a thing from you! :)**

Woohoo! 1. -man manga 2. Churros 3. A magical lemur, so SAJ doesn't get lonely ;) 4. Blue October CD 5. More Mountain Dew 6. Pixy Stix 7. A better grade in Math :P 8. I new brother 9. My rightfully deserved samurai sword! (long story...) 10. And...your enternal slave-ship. Nah, I already have these guys to do that! Uh...Pocky?

********

**Light: Stop making me wear this skirt!**

**Misa: Misa may be a twig, but she loves yaoi! Yes I have! It's one of my favorites! :D**

**All: *looks at Light***

**Light: I'm sorry that I partially gave you a bad day?**

**All guys except Near: Horrible...**

**Beyond: Yes, you are insane.**

**Matt: Probably because you're not as stuck up or preppy as most girls?**

**L: Why thank you. I'm not so sure, but maybe "How to save a life" ? Cause I do save the lives of those who could be affected if I didn't solve a crime or such. I wouldn't say "secret agent".**

**Near: Thanks. No I do not. *checks* As of now, no.**

**Light: Uh, thanks? *hugs awkwardly* ...I'm not going to answer that. I guess a Griffin? Because then everyone would fear me and get out of my way. I believe I do.**

**Beyond: *cough* Light's gay *un-cough* Great minds think alike. For both questions: I like to believe so.**

**Misa: YAY! I'm taking my Lighty-kins! Misa would have to say France, because it's the place of love! Well I look beautiful like one!**

**Mello: Wow. Thanks, I've been running low on my supply of chocolate. Wearing these freakin skirts makes me feel like one!**

**Matt: Game arcade, here I come! Kratos. He is baaaaad! I'm already in a skirt, I rather not be in pink too.**

**Ryuk: *Drools* THANK YOU! Memories like this, yes.**

**L: Well they are all lyrics to songs, I know that. Maybe they're in a pattern of you're favorite songs? Next.**

* * *

_Always-Aftermath _**asks:**

_Thanks guys!_

Mello: What is your fave type of choco?

Matt: Cats or Dogs?

Near: No I am not a rabid fangirl. I have SOME dignity. So will you go out with me?

L and Light: YAY!

Beyond: YAY!

All: you guys wanna come to DisneyLand with me? I'm stuck with my family! *cries*

oh! And should I go back to figure skating? I won 2nd first competition cause a girl cheated! 

_Anyways... Should I?_

********

**Mello: I perfer German chocolate. (Always delicious) But I also like milk chocolate.**

**Matt: Uh...dogs. I find them to be more playful.**

**Near: I don't see why not.**

*Grabs megaphone* ATTENTION ALL LADIES! NEAR IS CURRENTLY TAKEN! YOU MAY GO IN THE EMO CORNER NOW! THAT IS ALL!

********

**L and Light: Booo**

**Beyond: Bleh**

*Slaps L, Light, and Beyond*

********

**All: Yesssss! :D**

**L: *rubs face* You shouldn't let something like that hold you back. You should go back to it! Next!**

* * *

_hear-of-the-Hater _**asks:**

_Hi people!_

Ok, my friends and other people say I'm like L/Near/Light,

Because:

1. I eat ALOT of sweets, and I sat just like you before I watched Death Note. (I'm 13 and 10 months old)

2. I have ALOT of toys, and I had £100 of Toys 'n us vochers for my birthday.

3. Everyone knows that it's me (or my fault), but they cannot prove it.

L? Near? Light? What do you all think? and Beyond, what do 'ya think?

Hugs to anyone who says that I'm NOT and I mean NOT like Kira... I mean Light! Sorry!...not...

********

**L: It pretty much sounds like me.**

**Near: Yes you have to toys, but do you have the intellect?**

**Light: It takes more than just that to be like me, but it pretty much sums me up.**

**Beyond: Eh, it sounds like them more or less. Just add physcoticness to Light's and it would be perfect.**

**Light: That actually describes you more.**

**All exect Light: You're not like Kira/Light! *HUGS***

**Light: I find that offensive. Next.**

* * *

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_Goooooood day everyone! And since I am in a good mood today, I'll just kidnap L after these questions!_

Mello: I saw you eating spicy noodles! That means you are taking steps  
towards a normal life by eating things except for chocolate! I am so gonna blackmail you and ruin your reputation.

Matt: There is an old legend of the legendary video gamist who played 

_ten  
thousand video games and then his eyes popped out of his sockets *Popping sound in the background*. _

_See what I mean?_

Misa: Would you kill Light for this lifetime supply of Chanel lipstick? 

_Don't worry, he won't really die because Lia-sensei can bring him back to life with alchemy and magic because she can._

By the way, thanks for the grand welcome for me in the previous chapter, Lia-sensei. 

_*Sobs emotionally*. Waaah, lifes good!_

Undercover92

********

**L: Oh joy.**

**Mello: You saw that? Crap...**

**Matt: I used to hear that story at bedtime. And I'm also attempting it! I'm already on game 100!**

**Misa: As long as she can bring him back, then yes! **

**Light: WHAT!**

You're welcome Undercover92-chan! Anything for a friend! ^^ NOW, time to kidnap L!

********

**L: I have never felt such a deep hatred for anyone (other than Light) until now.**

*Ties up and hands to Undercover92 with a bow on top* Here you go! Enjoy!

********

Oh Beyondy!

********

**Beyond: Unless there is jam involved, I am out.**

Party pooper. Mells bells?

********

**Mello: Never call me that again. Review, ask advice.**

* * *

**OMG guess what! Did I just say 'OMG'? Anyway, you all shall be pleased to know that my new story is up! (Or bound to be up right after this is posted) Go check it out! :D**

**Me without reviews is like Near without his superiority. The world will end!**

**~Lia**

********


	22. The terrifying Wara Ningyo

****

**Matt and Beyond: *Puts skirts back on* **

**Matt: We're only halfway done with this stupid skirt dare and I can barely take it! *Takes out cigarette***

Uh, uh Matt! I thought you were off those!

****

**Matt: Well this is a stressful moment. *Starts smoking***

*tackles*

****

_Mikomikokoro _**asks:**

_HIII!_

So, I was going to cosplay as Beyond, but I changed my mind because the wig  
was really expensive. Unfortunately, I also made a whole bunch of Wara Ningyo for the cosplay. 

_Now my room is full of these creepy straw dolls and I have no idea as to what I should do with them._

I was thinking maybe going to a children's park and nailing them to the trees.

Any suggestions?

****

**Mello: I personally would just burn them.**

**Beyond: I feel very honored. I also like your idea! Way to freak the kids out. )**

**Ryuk: Why not randomly hand them out to little children while in the park? **

Hahaha! I love that idea! "Hey mom, look what some lady gave me!" :D Next!

****

* * *

_L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl. _**asks:**

_Beyond:_

1:Lol. S'ok, just don't insult my boyfriend. XD

2:I swear, Hungary-neechan (She's not my real sis, but we are like sisters) is a NINJA. 

_She hangs camera's everywhere and we never notice! She's teaching me too also! ^^_

Everyone:

1:I INTRODUCE YOU TO RUSSIA, DA! *Brings Ivan Braginski/Russia into the room*  
This is my friend, and the one I always get on Hetalia quizzes!

****

**Beyond: Geez, I won't! Is she some kind of stalker or something?**

**Everyone: *stares* **

**Mello: *Never seen show* From the way you were talking about him, I thought he would be some mean old man.**

**Russia: kolkolkol *attacks Mello***

**Mello: NEVER MIND! HE'S EFFING SCARY!**

**Beyond: *bows down to Russia* Please teach me your ways sensei. Next.**

* * *

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_Oh joy! I've got the legendary detective. Now I can haapily fix him in my dark field of crucified modern legends. *Picks up L and shows him the spot where he is going to be tortured* Here you go L, this is where. _

_Right between __Edward Elric and Nizuma Eiji! (Those who don't know Nizuma Eiji please check him up in wikipedia) _

_Oi wait, how come you know escapology? Hey come back! Aargh! Lost L._

Any ways, Hola everyone! Singing in the rain is fun! Now, lia-san, you're story is awesome so to lighten up the day, hand me Light so that I can crucify him and we won't be seeing his ugly mug for quite some time!

Near: There is a legend of the legendary dice stacker who reached the million mark by stacking the dice in an upside down pyramid and died in an avalanche of dice. (thunderous roar in the background) see what I mean!

Mello: There is the legend of the ... I don't need to keep repeating stuuf, right? Let's just say that try to guess my nationality. If you can't, you'll be one s***y detective.

Light: Wait till you see my crucifying ground! *Laughs ominously*  
Undercover92

****

**L: *runs in breathing hard* Lia! How dare you give me to that maniac!**

Well the reviewer gets what the reviewer wants.

****

**L: Traitor...**

Will do Undercover92! But can you be a peach and wait till after he answers some reviewers questions? I would hate to have a reviewer saddened by Light's disappearance. If that was even possible...

(See bottom of page)

****

**Light: Hey, I have still have fans that would be sad if I disappeared!**

**Near: I may have to take that challenge someday. It sounds interesting.**

**Mello:** **After what little info I could dig up on you, I have narrowed it down to 3. But my guess is that you are Pakistani? You are one hard person to dig up information on. =.= **

**Light: Heh heh, hey Misa? You want to take that hawaiian vacation now?**

**Misa: No, Misa can wait!**

**Light: Somebody help me... Next.**

* * *

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld _**asks:**

_Oh Mello... your hatred makes me smile... Beyond's and Matt's next chapter will make me smile more..._

And they aren't my favorite songs (well some are)... I was just bored...

And... sorry Light... I can't stop the fanservice now, people will kill me,  
don't worry you can be exempt from the NEXT one... if everyone isn't as  
chicken to take it after this one. ^_^

And it's not your fault my phone went off... considering I was in a church, I  
blame Jesus.

MISA YOU ARE COMPLETELY REDEEMED! Misaki is adorable. He was my phone  
background for a while,. but then I changed it to Akira and Hikaru from 

_Hikaru  
no Go._

I'm insane... hmm... to be ecstatic or depressed, that is the question (the  
answer is D, none of the above).

...I'm not stuck up or preppy... but I'm quiet and morbid... guys officialy confuse me...

Nothing's been able to keep my attention recently, any suggestions?

And Near... as of NOW there's no evil clowns in your house... does that mean that there have been before...?

PRESENTS!

L: That's a good song. It does fit you... now... you get the biggest strawberry shortcake in the world. 

_Have you ever felt like no matter what, evil would go on no matter what you did?_

Near: Nnngh... you're hard to shop for too... hmm... toy penguins and tapirs,  
because I can't think of anything else. Do you even know what a tapir is?

Light: You get a Griffin... except no killing anyone with it! 

_Though I suppose you could kill people then feed their dead bodies to it..._

Beyond: Yes... yes they do. Well, insane ones do at any rate... you get a meat  
grinder, machete, and... battle axe. Have you ever read Battle Royale? Or seen the movie?

Misa: All the Junjou Romantica seasons (only two, nooo!) and manga, you also  
get... a trip to France for as many people as you like! When did you start reading Yaoi?

Mello: You get a chocolate island. You're pretty easy to get things for too...  
and I'm sorry you're not happy that you feel like a woman... what song do you think describes you the best?

Matt: Hmm... 10 games of your choosing. If I got a Wii and the game Just Dance  
for you, do you think you could get everyone to dance to Ring My Bell, film  
it, and give me a copy? Youtube it to see what they would have to do... personally I say it's worth it...

Ryuuk: You get... an apple forest. Have you ever written something crazy for  
someone to do in the Death Note, just because you could? If so, what?

Personally, I enjoy this dare so far. And I'll overlook the fact that Ryuuk is male and is not participating... :)

Keep writing, 

_Italy_

****

**Beyond and Matt: Neh.**

**Light: I think everyone is tired of it.**

**All guys: YES!**

**Light: As long as you don't blame god. *shot***

**Ryuk: How about some more A.D.D. pills?**

**Near: Lets just say that weird things occur when I'm not home. I like to believe that it's Mello messing with me and not me in general.**

**L: Much appreciation! Yes, because no human alone can stop all the evil in the world. Only combined can we all stop the evil.**

Ah, yes master cheesy fortune cookie!

****

**Near: I feel insulted. Of course I do; it's a large pig/boar like mammal with a prehensile snout. And uh thank you, I'm not sure what to do with them.**

**Light: Thanks. But aren't Griffin's extinct? Actually, I don't think they ever existed. **

Just shut up and appreciate your gift.

****

**Beyond: New killer weapons! I've seen the movie. Why do you ask?**

**Misa: YAY!** **Junjou Romantica! France! *glomps Light* We must go Lighty-switch! Misa has been reading yaoi ever since she could remember! Misa loves it!**

**Mello: Sweet! As of now, my favorite song is "I will not bow" which I think describes me the best.**

**Matt: Thank you! I could...but it's gonna cost 'ya.**

**Ryuk: *nom nom nom* Well I got really bored once so I wrote that in order to recieve the shinigami eyes, you must obtain the sorceror's stone, combine it with the philosopher's stone and all 7 dragon balls, and then enter the avatar state. The poor guy was never the same again. ****You know, it's not my fault that you didn't specify. You don't know what I got! **(1)

**Next!**

_

* * *

_

_BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare_ **asks:**

_Hello. It's almost time for my summer vacation which is an astounding three weeks.(sarcasm) _

_but a vacation is a vacation nonetheless. I haven't said anything in a while on here so I thought I'd come back and review._

Everyone: Favorite anime/manga? Mine of course is Death Note (with Sailor Moon running a close second)

_I apologize if its been asked before._

Near: I see that you've started dating now. Congratulations, I'm glad to hear it!

L: Do you remember anything about your life prior to Whammy's? What were your parents like? 

_I'm going to do a story on your past on here so I need some info to build a story on._

BB: Would you like to go out with me? I know its weird to ask but I really admire you.

Light: Do you like watermelon? Random question I know but my cousin is slicing  
a watermelon as I type this and it begs the question. I personally do not.

Misa: Do you have any siblings?

Matt & Mello: Do you like curry? What's you're favorite kind?

I apologize for the random questions. No gifts today, I'll give you some next time, I promise.

****

**All: We welcome you back!**

**Near: Well as long as she's not a complete physco, then I'm fine with it. My favorite anime is Rurouni Kenshin. I like how it also fits in real historic information while at the same time, having action.**

**L: I never knew my father, and my mother died when I was just 7. I was sent to an orphanage for awhile and then Watari found me a few years later, and adopted me for my talented mind. He then later opened up the orphanage after recruting a few other gifted children. My mom did the best she could to provide for me; so much in fact that she fell extremly ill and passed away. My favorite of all time is Detective Conan.**

**Beyond: Sure, just don't be one of those clingy types. Gunslinger Girl is the best!**

**Light: uh, yeah. But it's not my favorite. I happen to like Code Geass.**

**Misa: Misa did have a younger brother, but he was killed by that murderer along with my parents. :( Misa's favorite anime is Tokyo Mew Mew! But Misa also likes Sailor Moon!**

**Matt: Yeah, I like it. My favorite is shrimp curry. Have you ever had it? My fave anime as of right now is Neon Genesis Evangelion. **

**Mello: I like the spicy curry. Other than chocolate, I like anything spicy. Right now, I'm caught on Black Cat.**

**Ryuk: I just started Samurai 7 and it's pretty good so far.**

**All: No prob!**

Well here you are Undercover92! Light all wrapped up for you. (literally) *hands Light over*

Oh and tell Edward that I said "hi!" *evil grin* Misa-Misa?

****

**Misa: Review it, love it! *Serious face* I mean it.**

Heh, heh... ^^;

****

**

* * *

**

**Woot! I just got meh a laptop to call my own! :D Yes it is used/out of style and there are some strange marks on it, but it's mine! (My papa got it for me. Which explains alot) **

**His name is Lim. (No I'm serious, it says that when it comes on O.o) I think the guy that had it before, programmed it to say that...**

**Chapter 2 of my new story shall be up soon. Just adding a few more touches!**

(1) **Yeah, that actually belongs to the show "Victorious". I personally don't care for the show, but my little cousin is like obsessed with it and had it on the other day. :P**

**Me without reviews is like Beyond without his "killer" weapons. The world will end!**

**~Lia**


	23. Where art thou Light?

__________

Zah-crap! Undercover92 still has Light hostage... Good thing I secretly set two-way speaker when I sent Light off! :D Matt's setting up the connection stuffs. He be with us virtually~

**Matt: *connecting crap* Annnndddd...it's connected!**

Yo Light! You there Lemur?

**Light: Don't call me a lemur!**

**L: Someone's moody...**

**Light: You try being tied to a chair in a torture chamber next to Edward Elric, Nizuma Eiji, and some random guy I assume to be her cousin? Lucky you that the physcopath is gone somewhere. Probably out to get more torture weapons...**

Oh hi Edward! Nizuma!

**Light: ... They now look very scared...**

**Mello: Can she keep him? **

**Near: If only dreams came true...**

_ZetsubouAi _**asks:**

_Oh, this is a really cool story...type...thing. Anyway, it's cool. Both the author and DN characters should be proud of that. :) Now, onto my questions, starting from least serious to most serious. _

_And, please, be nice...or honest, whichever works._

Now, then, I nearly spit out my diet upon reading some of these answers...very creative. :) Of course, it's 2:20 in the AM where I am right now, and I'm trying to muffle my Kira laughter(which, btw, is awesome! :D But...I fail at it...I thought my lungs would explode for a second) at this awesome-ness~! Now..onto my actual questions...

Any of you ever watch Elfen Lied? If not, it's only 13 episodes, and is beautiful in how much symbolism is withen it; It's nowhere near boring...quite a lot of blood, though...I adored it. _Limbs being ripped off...yeah...BB, I think you'd like it. :) _

_Okay, now for my next one...Near, I wrote a story(kind of)called Dear Near.  
Basically, just people asking you questions, y'know. Anyway, I'd like you to take a look, if you get the chance. :) Not really a question, but..oh, well._

Okay, here's for Light...(or anyone who actually wants to answer...) _I tend to use omk instead of omg, well,...constantly. What are your thoughts on that? :)_

Oh, here's another one for everybody. Does it annoy you that less than, greater than, and equal signs don't show up on FF?

Okay, so my TBSABFBF(True Blue Super Awesome Best Female Buddy Forever)and I have this thing where I'm Light and she's L(long story), and we just have this really stupid joke. Here's how it goes:

Misa: Boyfriend-chaaan~! *approaches Light*

Light(meh):What?

Misa: You never picked me up last night! Where were you?

*L is also standing there; this is during the hand-cuff ordeal[because in our world, L doesn't die ^^]*

Light: *hesitates, trying to think of another excuse so Misa will stop talking*

Misa: Well!

L:...We were at a frat party. -voice flat-

Misa and Light: 0_0

Misa: Noooo! *goes bye-bye; is in denial*

Light:...At least she left.

L: Yes. Indeed she did. Hey, Kira?

Light: Yes?

L: Ha! You just admitted it. *glowers*

Light:...d*mn.

Now, for everybody, was that not the most stupid story you have ever read? I think so ^_^... -_-;

_Okay, now for a more serious question: So, I think I seriously love my TBSABFBF...But, it hurts. Because, well, we're both girls...*sigh* And, she is starting to like her b*tchy ex-friend, and it hurts! So badly...I even wrote a  
sonnet to express that(and, hooray, it spells out her name if you read the first letter of each line)I call it 'Listen'._

A delicate heart, made of glass. That is so

Like me, to cry in silence. For now, forever,

Eternity will not destroy my feelings. Show

X-rays; reveal my heart to be never

Achieving of no more than grief. But why know

Even of the smallest affection? Why sever

Little happiness we have now? Because, to grow,

If only subtly, we must risk. No-I endanger.

Zero notes of harmony sing as I

Aim for your love. Well, ha ha, guess what? Believe

Beyond what others say. Believe as the sky

Easily fades to black, that I'll return, not leave.

To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't seen

How quickly I'm back for you, my queen

That, and just the other day, my other best friend(I'm just going to call her by her initials), L.L., brought me outside to her trampoline...and kissed me...I'm just so sad right now...I can't tell my mother. Because she would disown me(no joke)if she knew how I felt...Kira, this sucks...-_-" Any opinions?

Oh, and so sorry this took so long to read/write...So, I giveth all of the Death Note characters Wal-Mart. Because it has it all ;D Now, then, as for my last question...When I watch Death Note and the second opening theme comes on(what's up people!), my parents are just like what the f(censored c: ) is that noise! Personally, I love the song. So much. Any suggestions? ._.

_Anyway, thank you all for the help; the next time I ask you questions, I won't have near this many :o_

**Beyond: I sure hope it's cool. If not, why am I still here!**

Either way you would be here. I own you D Or captured you...which ever!

**Light: I've seen it before. Pretty gruesome anime. **

**Misa: Misa hasn't seen it, but is willing to try it out!**

**Beyond: Sounds awesome. Worth looking into!**

**Near: I've checked it out. It's very interesting. You potray me well. *thumbs up***

**Light: I'm flattered. Maybe we can somehow force everyone else to use the same term? I'm tired of all the fangirls screeching "OMG"; "OMK would be a nice change.**

**All: We all don't use less/greater than signs or equal signs anyway.**

Well I do. It's sooo freaking annoying!

**All: No comment on story...**

**Misa: *tears* That is sooo sweet!**

**Mello: Well how did it make you feel when she kissed you? Do you feel the same way? **

**Ryuk: Have you told your TBSABFBF how you feel or have you read to her the poem? Not guaranting that it will work, but you should atleast give it a try. **

**All: *eyes light up* THANKS! **

**Matt: You can tell your parents that it's just part of your taste in music. That or listen to it somewhere privatly.**

**All: NO PROBLEM! :D Next!**

_

* * *

_

Black Alice Butterfly **asks:**

_-waves moodily- Eh, hello my dears._

I have come to a rather startling conclusion that almost every friend I have can be somewhat related to death note characters, but that is beside the point. Also, it turns out I may be the love child between L and Light, thus I could be Near. _But more Light than anything._

Light: Besides the death note, what is the quickest way on how to take over the world?

L: I know you cannot get bed-hair, so how the heck does your hair stick up in the air without the use of gel? and for that matter, I'm pretty sure that you don't take a shower every day...at least not in the Kira case. also, have you tried coffee instead of tea?

Beyond: 'ello mister smexy murderer that L.E. wants to rape...( Yeah. no secrets there, obviously)

_What is the most painful way how to kill someone? and seriously, when you were " cosplaying" L in the L.A.B.B murder cases, where did you get his outfits? did you stalk him or something, or did you just buy it at gap?_

Merro: Ah...I have found your theme song. ( no, not the one in DN. fan-picked.) it's Chocolate by Soul Control, and I blame you for making me download it. ( -eats a sugar cube-) but in any case, why did you get tight  
leather pants? ( other than the obvious reason of that it makes you look smexy) you just practically set yourself up for littlekiriboh's " LeatherPants" song. ( yes, this means you should watch it. it is so good, I died laughing.)

Misa: You are a shame to ero-lolita. a shame, shame, shame.

Ryuk: SHINIGAMI-DAMNIT, RY-RY~ STOP MAKING LIGHT BUY APPLES! THE NEXT THING WE NEED IS A HUMAN EDWARD CULLEN! ( -cough-yes that means you light-cough-) oh yes. and because we need it so much, I would personally like you to rub glitter on him and take a picture of it.

Matt: -glomps- Dude! I swear to god sometimes you are my brother...You have caused my addiction to wearing goggles daily, I freaking swear it. But other than my creepy stalker momment, I was wondering where you got the vest...ya know...the fluffy abomination of awesomeness...( if you tell me that Mello sewed it for you, I really don't want to know anymore.)

All: I know this is random, but have any of you gotten so intoxicated with some kind of substance that you started imagining things?

~ the seriously PADHD Alice

**All: Hola!**

**L, Light, and Near: I feel insecure now.**

**Light: If not the Death Note, then probably Lelouch's power. Or if you're talking about something you can _actually _do then the fastest way is to take over the internet. Without it, the world is doomed.**

**L: I really have no idea. But it's anime, where hair defy's gravity. I have, but it's not as sweet.**

**Beyond: Good luck to her tryin to rape me. The most painful way is to break their arms and legs then slowly finish them off by slitting their throat. Well there pretty simply clothes, just a white long sleeved shirt and jeans.**

**Mello: *listens to it* Those are some queer lyrics, but it's catchy I'll tell you that. I wear leather pants because there quite comfortable ecspecially after wearing them for a while. Dude that even had me laughing! My favorite part is when Marik yells "Shut up! I am Lady Gaga!". But now I have a feeling that you're going to try and steal my leather pants...**

**Misa: Wahhhh!**

**Ryuk: I think we _do _need an anime Edward Cullen. And Light is perfect for the job! *whispers* whenever he gets back, I'll jump him.**

**Light: I can still hear you through the speaker Ryuk.**

**Matt: That's what a little bit of Matt can do to ya. Oh I found 'Ol vestie at some foreign store. Supposedly it's made of yak fur?**

**Misa: Misa has! It was some exotic type of alchoholic fruit!**

**Mello: I have but I rather not talk about that. Next. **

* * *

_icedpandacookies _**asks:**

_Loving the advice!_

My question: I majorly suck at singing, so could Misa Misa (or any of the others) give me a hand? I feel kinda out of place in the choir at school...

Also, can I PLEASE take Near home? Please? I'll take good care of him! And will Matt date my sister? She loves him and videao games too!

Prezzies!

Near: Super awesome domino set, plus new robots

L: Cake (what else) and a 100 pack of lollipops

Light: a comb, to keep your hair looking perfect

Misa Misa: a super cool necklace I saw, plus a camera, to spy on Light with

Ryuk: APPLES! (duh)

Matt: A big hug from my sister, and a new Pokemon game

Mello: Lots of chocolate...

Beyond: Much jam, keys to a jam factory, 24/7 access to my fridge (with jam in it) and a nice new knife.

Love you all!

**Misa: You mean give you singing lessons? Misa would love to! You should practice by singing "Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do" forwards and backwards to warm up your voice!**

I see no problem with it! Just no innopropriate stuffs. Neary now has a gf-ish person. And you must make sure to return him so he can answer some advice and questions! Other than that, take him!

**Near: Don't I get a say in this?**

You could, but what would be the fun in that?

**Matt: Uh, exactly how old is your sister?**

**Near: Thank you.**

**L: Why thank you. I was starting to run low on my stash of sweets.**

**Light: Thanks. Mine somehow wound up missing... I blame L.**

**L: Of course you do magical talking speaker. *sarcasm***

**Misa: EEEHH! Misa loves it! *Laughs evily* Time to stalk my Lighty-kins!**

**Ryuk: Why get me anything else? *nomity nom***

**Matt: *hugs* And thanks.**

**Mello: I was thinking of going on a diet, but who cares? *nom nomz***

**Beyond: *eyes get huge* Jam... *attacks factory and fridge* **

I'm scared of what he's going to do with the knife now... Next.

**

* * *

**

_L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl. _**asks:**

_Beyond:  
1:Lol.  
2:She stalks Austria and mostly puts them up to watch the other nations. she thinks they're in relationships._

everyone:  
1:^^

Mello:  
1:Shows you! XDDD

**Beyond:** **Wow. The ultimate stalker. I need to meet her some day!**

**Mello: *mumbles* Freakin evil b**tard.**

**Matt: I don't know about you Mello, but that was f****ing hilarious! **

**Mello: *glares***

**Matt: Uh...Next.**

* * *

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld _**asks:**

_All of your hatred makes me happy._

And more A.D.D. pills don't exactly work. It does for about 2 weeks... I need a longer term idea.

Do you think I could get arrested if I 'accidently' hit someone while in a Student Driver car? If I didn't kill them?

Near... what kind of weird things?

Hmm... I don't have much else to say besides... AFTER THIS FRIDAY SCHOOL'S OUT! FOR THE SUMMER!

_MORE TIME FOR EVIL PLOT'S AND MANGA, YAY!_

PRESENTS:

L: Biggest strawberry in the world... would you eat a strawberry with cake inside it?

Near: I don't know what you'll do with them either, you can just shove them in a corner and let them collect dust really... you get seven packs of 16 sided dice. Have you ever been stumped by a whoo-dun-it story? Or a riddle? If so, which one.

Light: It's a magical griffin that flew here in the dimensional tear between the Harry Potter world and ours. It accidently closed up when Harry was coming through, so now I have his arm, I'm currently looking for a cannibal to feed it to, know any? Anyways... you get... a trip for one to... a place of you're choosing, because I can't think of anything else.

Beyond: I ask because I have a fun obbsession with Kiriyama... he entertains me. Do you think you would win if you were there? What weapon would you want? Anyways... you get... A nuclear bomb, use it well.

Misa: Hmmm... you get... a trip to... Mexico for 10. I... don't know what to ask you, tell me something random about anything, hopefully something obscure that I won't know.

Mello: You get a chocolate sculpture, of whoever or whatever you want it to be of. What does it look like?

Matt: You get Tales of Symphonia, both of them...How much would it cost, Matt?

Ryuk: Apple mountain. Male is male, but it doesn't matter, next time dear Ryuk. next time.

_Have you ever felt afraid?  
__  
Keep writing, Italy_

**Ryuk: Fine. How about discovering a purpose to help keep you focused? You probably just lack motivation or a purpose to stay focused.**

**Light: It's the hardest thing in the world to stay focused, but you must force your thoughts to stop straying and return to your point!**

**Beyond: Knowing you, it wouldn't be an accident.**

**Near: One time I came home and found a group of prostitutes wanting their money (I did nothing mind you) and another time I found a drunk clown asleep on my couch, he also had a pet lion...**

**L: I would. Do you plan on making such a strawberry? And you better not be thinking of letting us wear these skirts any longer.**

**Near: Okay. They can go with the lion. **

**Light:... You can feed it to my griffin. He's probably hungry since I'm not there at the moment to feed him, and I'm not ready to feed L to him yet. **

**L: I'm going to disregard the feeding me to the griffin part.**

**Beyond: Poor Kiriyama. Of course! I would want a Franchi SPAS-12. It's bad ss! *laughs menacingly* Oh, I will...**

**Misa: Viva Mexico! Uh...Misa can fit her entire fist in her mouth! Wanna see! *struggles to put fist in mouth* YAY! I DID IT!**

**Mello: Megan Fox. She's ****ing hot! **

**Matt: About $48.41. Plan on payin for it?**

**Ryuk: ...I'm afraid right now. Does that count? Next.**

_

* * *

_

_BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare _**asks:**

_I'm back! And I aced my practicals!_

*grabs BB and gives him a hot passionate kiss* Here's a jar of jam for you baby.

Sorry L but I already started the story. You're an arrogant, proud, argumentative, and smart-mouthed 3 year old genius who was orphaned when your dad committed a murder-suicide. The best part so far is when you tell the cashier off at the department store for not ringing up the correct price for clothes on sale.

This question is for everyone:  
Are you religious? If so what religion are you? I personally am an Atheist.

_*plants soft kiss on B's cheek*_

Gifts:

Everyone gets a blank check and they can write whatever amount they want on it.

**All: *confetti explodes everywhere* Yay! You're not a failer! **

**Beyond: *stunned* (Never been kissed before) *takes jam slowly***

**L: ...sounds intriguing. I shall check it out. I don't really have a religion, and if by believing in god you mean 'kira', then I don't believe in god.**

**Mello: Yes, I am religious. My religion is Catholicism. **

**Ryuk: I oppose to any religion. I'm a shinigami after all.**

**Matt: Despite Mello being my best friend, I don't believe in god. I've just never had an interest in religion.**

**Light: Do you really want me to answer that?**

**Misa: Misa believes in Kira and Kira is god!**

*holds invisible gun to Misa*

**Near: I believe in god but I don't really believe in the whole Christian religion.**

**Beyond: *still stunned* **

I assume he only believe in Hades.

**All except Beyond: Thanks! Next!**

* * *

_Far _**asks:**

_Hi L... would this be considered evil? *takes a gun and shoots Light/Speaker.*_

I need help, I moved to a new city not so long ago and I have become a little ...emo because of all the friends I left behind...I also feel...weak...no...torn...dead...destroyed...yeah thats it...destroyed... so what do I do...coz this is not a happy felling...Oh and BB, I know absolutely nothing about you, so where can I pick up one of the books that you're in? And lastly I'm as strong as a toothpick, but I hate work and food. What do I do?

Apples for Ryuk

Sugar cookies for Near

A knife thru the neck for Light (When he get's back)

A...um...gun and other violent things for BB

Chocolate for Mello

A $1000 for Matt

A dress for Misa

And $400 for L

***Light's speaker explodes***

**L: *shock* That would be considered evil to anyone. Especially to Kira fans.**

Crap, we lost Light. Oh well! Atleast this was the last set of questions for him.

**Misa: Stay positive! You should try looking forward to all of the new friends you'll meet! **

**Near: Plus you can still stay in contact with your other friends right?**

Hey, yo Beyond? *snaps fingers* SNAP OUT OF IT!

**Beyond: Who, huh, what! Oh, uh...Probably at Barnes & Noble or whatever book store is in your new town.**

**Ryuk: and thanks!**

**Near: Much appreciated.**

**Beyond: I will put these to good use...**

**Mello: *devours***

**Matt: SWEET! Off to GameStop!**

**Misa: It's beautiful! Thanks so much! *Hugs*  
**

**L: Thank you, very.**

You know, this was a fun chapter without Light. Maybe Undercover92 should keep him longer?

**Mello: Most definately! Screw Light. Review, love, blah.**

* * *

**Okay so, I'm going to be flying down to Tulsa, Oklahoma to go to the Tokyo in Tulsa anime convention with my friend Tyler, and I'm excited! :D (There's not a lot of conventions around where I live) I heard **

**Scott McNeil is goin to be there plus a real samurai! **

**If you are going or want more information on it, message me ^^**

**Me without reviews is like Misa without Light. The world would be dark!**

**~Lia**


	24. Fat Lards?

I, luckily, got a hold of Hungary-chan and she was nice enough to help install a new speaker!

**Hungary: All done. *throws smoke bomb and disappears***

Light?

**Light: Oh hello, how have you been while I'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR 15 DAYS!**

I would have tried saving you yesterday, but it was tostada night! And I just don't feel like it now, since you screamed at me. GREAT NEWS! No more skirt wearing! :D

**All guys except Near and Ryuk: Yay! **

Except you Light since your stuck at Undercover92's house~

**Light: I loathe you.**

_L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl_ **asks:**

_Beyond:  
1: I'll ask her if she wants to teach you!_

Mello:  
1: XDD

2:*Brings in Lithuania-kun, he has brown hair, green eyes and is wearing his WWII outfit* 

_this is my boyfriend, Liet! He's cool, huh?_

Lithuania: Hello! ^^

**Beyond: Cool. Thanks!**

**Mello: Grrr...**

**All: Hello Lithuania! Next!**

* * *

_BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare_ **asks:**

_I'm sooo sorry BB! I didn't know you never been kissed before! I was too forward! _

_Now you and everyone else thinks I'm a **! *begins to cry*_

Well *sniffle* this question is for L *sniffle* exactly how rich are you?  
Because you have a Rolls Royce and that's a pretty expensive car.

Light: *sniffle* If your pet griffin has...puppies...or...*sniffle* whatever can I have one?

Misa: You wanna go shopping with me? *sniffle*

Matt: Dude have you seen the new Pokemon? *sniffle* the legendaries are flippin sweet. They're Dragon/Fire and Dragon/Electric. They already released the starters *sniffle* and they're kinda ok...the games Pokemon _Black and White are *sniffle* coming out in Autumn 2010 in Japan. They have a new region and dude its fricken 3D cities and crap! And they redid the battle system, I think the pokemon and background actually move instead of just standing still. *sniffle*_

Mello: This isn't a question *sniffle* I'm gonna make you chocolate truffles for next time.

Near: What's your nationality? Also what's your fav. holiday?

Ryuk: Which are your favorite apples? Red Delicious? Washington? Gala? Granny Smith_? _

_I like Granny Smith apples (they're the best for apple pie!)_

Way to go Beyond! You made her cry!

**Beyond: But I did nothing?**

Make it better!

**Beyond: Uh... *hugs* It's okay, nobody thinks that of you. I was just taken off guard.**

Good Beyond.

**L: Well I wouldn't say that _I'm _the one rich. It's actually Watari. Where he gets the money, I have no idea.**

**Light: Sure, but I don't know if there are other griffins living in our time? **

**Misa: Would I! It'll be so much fun!**

**Matt: Of course I have! I have a special connection that can probably get me the game in Japan next month. Would you like me to hook you up too?**

**Mello: Awesome. I can't wait!**

**Near: My nationality is classified; for safety measures... My favorite holiday is christmas. It's the one day, other than my birthday, where I get free toys. **

**Ryuk: It's a tie between Red delicious and Gala apples! Next**

* * *

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld _**asks:**

_I've never been to an anime convention, I'm so jealous! I was planning on going to one but this summer is so freaking busy! Gaaaaaaah!_

Light... you know Code Geass...?

LELOUCH RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULES!

Except I forgot what episode of the second season I was on... R2, you know? Maybe.

That's good advice Ryuk, Light. Thank you...

I failed my drivers test, so I have to retake it. Meeeeh.

Have any of you seen/read Princess Princess?

There was a drunk clown... on your couch? O.O

Mmkay...

Well to the people who even slightly know me of course it wouldn't be an accident, but the police won't know that will they?

I need some help, if a mental breakdown is unavoidable, what's the best thing to do?

Presents!

L: Hmm... I may in fact make such a strawberry. Would you be willing to taste test it? In the meantime, you get a fruit basket, if you find a cat and rat fighting each other in it, just FedEx them back, please.

Near: Mmkay, I hope your lion enjoys them, and - wait, LION? You kept it? What happened to the clown? And how did the prostitute situation work out? Anyways, you get 200 dollar gift card.

Light: Mmkay, I wonder if Harry will feel it? You get one item of whatever you want that is not a Death Note. Your griffin gets Harry's arm.

Beyond: Yes, poor, poor Kiriyama. I want to cosplay as him, but I can't. Sigh. Have you ever seen the music video for the song Torture Device? I recommend it for you. This time you get an atomic bomb. To match your nuclear one. And a Franchi SPAS-12. Enjoy! And if you blow me up, my ghost will massacre you.

Misa: Um... holy crap. That's interesting. When did you find out you could do that? You get... 3 things of your choosing.

Mello: Real nice. You get 12 new leather outfits. I would have laughed if the sculpture was of a chocolate bar.

Matt: Can I pay in installments? You get... 5 games of your choosing.

Ryuk: What are/were you afraid of? You get an apple... mountain, like _candy mountain, only with apples. (Chaaaaarlie) Would you have gone to candy mountain?_

Now the big life question is this... HOW COME MY MOM WON'T BUY CHOCOLATE MILK?

Keep writing, Italy

**Light: Yeah, I actually know Lelouch. But he asked that I don't give out his number, so no ideas.**

**Ryuk: Welcome.**

**All: Very sorry. Better luck next time! :)**

**Misa: Misa has! I love it sooo much!**

**Light: Misa forced me to watch it once. "Disturbing" is the word that comes to mind.**

**Near: *twirls hair* I have. It's very interesting.**

**All: *stares***

**Near: ...What? Yes, I just came home and he was there. I believe Mello lead him there.**

**Mello: Now why would you think that, Near? The best thing to do is to remain calm even though the breakdown has happened. Don't add anymore stress, for I don't know what will happen to your already scary mind!**

**L: As long as you don't put any "special" ingrediants in it. Thank you, their sleeping right now.**

**Near: The clown left late that night and forgot the lion so I just kept it; it's pretty tame. Nothing happened mind you... I just paid them so they would leave. But one insisted that I was their 'daddy', though I am not of age to be a father. And thank you.**

**Light: Let's find out *he's probably evily grinning right now* How about scissors to cut this rope so I can be set free?**

**Beyond: No I have not *watches* That just gave me some new ideas! Thank you, and I'll try to keep that in mind.**

Dear Kaiba- *gags* That is one disturbing video!

**Misa: Well one day I was extremly bored, and Lighty wasn't around, so I googled 'stuff to do when bored' and a list of stuff to do popped up! And the first thing on the list was fitting your whole fist in your mouth, so I tried it. It took awhile but I finally got it!**

**Mello: Gracias. Then that wouldn't have been any fun, now would it?**

**Matt: As long as I'm not paying for it! Now the problem is deciding which games to choose.**

**Ryuk: For the longest time, I was afraid of cats... If there are apples at candy mountain!**

**All: Because she doesn't love you... We're sorry. (Totally kidding) **

You should go sometime! Stalking random cosplayers is the funnest~ Next!

* * *

_Black Alice Butterlfy _**asks:**

_Hello Again~ I MADE COOKIES FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY. So I have leftovers..._

-hands buttercookies to all of you-

Light: Taking over the internet has already done by "Die hard or live free" ( I advise all of you to see it. seriously.) But that's beside the point...hmm...Oh yeah! where did you get that awesome black dress shirt that  
you wore in that episode...-snaps fingers, trying to remember- #!*% . I can't remember which episode...oh well. if you could tell me where you got it anyway, it would be appreciated.

L: #!*% . you're right, it's anime...anything happens, anything goes...

_By the way, I have two questions for you:_

1) Are you afraid of socks?

2) have you made a sugar cube fort yet? ( I highly recommend you do this.)

Beyond: Dude. you're the hottest killer in the world and you haven't been KISSED yet? ( well okay unless you count the last chapter, but still!) geez, you're just begging to be raped by a fangirl...

And thank you for the tip! also, here's a present of a scalpel...and this: 

_-grabs the front of your shirt and kisses you hard- Heh. I always wanted to do that...( Don't think I'm your new stalker or anything, I just wanted to to try it. No offense if I did something bad...really.) Okay, here's my question:_

How the #!*% did you get your shinigami eyes..? Were you really born with them? If so, then aren't you somehow part shinigami?

Mello: -steals your leather pants and throws them into a random dimension.- you guessed correctly, I did want to steal your leather pants. Two questions for you this time:

1) ever consider moving to prussia?

2) why didn't you crossdress in the kira case? You could have caught Light in the act by acting as a girl and seducing him into giving you evidence, #!*% ! Also, you are awesome.

Near: Uwah, you are also awesome. And I'm glad I make you uncomfortable...(hehe.)  
Where did your love of puzzles stem from? Also, have you ever dressed as a sheep on halloween?

Ryuk: aaaah, my favorite shinigami of awesomeness. MAKE LIGHT INTO EDWARD CULLEN. I DARE YOU.

The Author/Authoress: Here is some cake...and an iPod filled with anime music. And blackmail material. 

_Thank you for this story!_

~ Alice. thank you for answering the questions! And I hoped Beyond liked it even though it was rude of me...:P

**All: *nom nom nom's cookies* Thanks bunches!**

**Light: ...Oh that shirt! Yeah the episode slips me too. It was a gift actually, I believe they got it from *cough* Macy's.**

**L: No, I just choose not to wear them. Yes, it's funny what one will do when bored.**

**Beyond: Well I kill/rape people. I don't really find time in between to kiss someone- *taken off guard, again by kiss* *blushes* You've had practice haven't you? **

*shock* Unaffected :o

**Beyond: Yes, I was born with them. You could say that, but every 100 years or so, a child is born with shinigami eyes. Don't ask why or how for I have no idea what so ever.**

**Mello: You evil wanker. Great, now you have me quoting Yu-Gi-Oh abridged; dang you for making me watch "Leather Pants"... **

*whispers* He's been obsessed with it ever since he watched that video

**Mello: Not really. What brings you to ask that question? Because that would burn what's left of my dignity! You're pretty cool too.**

**Near: Why thank you, muchly. Now that's just creepy. If by dressed you mean forced to, then yes. Lia can be quite cruel.**

**Ryuk: I shall, and I will! But I do have a question: If vampires sparkle, does that mean glitter glue is a vampire?**

ZOMG-No-Wai. *hugs* Now I have cake + music to keep me up all night, and some blackmail material, so you guys can _never_ leave! Mwhahaha

**All: *gulp* Next...**

_

* * *

_

_x-Munch-x _**asks:**

_Hi guys!_

I actually made a bet with my friend to be completely nice for one whole week 

_-shudders- And I can't be mean...no matter how much I want to be... -glares at Light- _

_Now this is a question for all of you! How would you be nice to someone you despicably hate without going overboard o_o I need answers now!_

And now for the next question! Well after that grueling week of being nice is over, I feel like I should take up some time to catch up on torture, what would you say be the best thing to do without getting into ultimate trouble?

**Light: *what I assume to be a smirking noise* So...if I poked you right now, you couldn't do anything? *virtually pokes***

**Near: *starts stacking dice* You could try saying "How are you?" politely and completely ignoring the person while they talk if you loathe them that much.**

Uh, good advice Near?

**Ryuk: Or just grit your teeth, put on your big girl panties, and get this whole nice thing over with. A nice "Hello" won't hurt and you can't go overboard with it!**

**Beyond: Would 'taping someone to a chair and making them watch Dora' be considered something that will get you in ultimate trouble? **

**Mello: You could leave threating letters on their door step? I do it all the time. Next!**

* * *

_Sorrowsweet Chiaki Hayashi _**asks:**

_Hello, Hello all you epic Death Note humans (and Ryuk)! ^.^ First time reviewing for this story... and its wicked awesome! Anywho, for my problems:_

Yeah...there's this guy I like (kinda-sorta-maybe)...

He's a year younger than me and is REALLY short (shorter than me). I personally think his shortness is cute, but I seem to be the only one with that opinion (girls are mean that way -_-;). And he's anti-social and mumbles  
his sentences a LOT. Beginning of this year is when I had first even talked to him and I've known him for like 3 years -_-) All his friends says he likes me.

Also, one of my best friends has a eating disorder :'( She's skin-and-bones but thinks she fat. This means she's basically calling everyone else (with a healthy weight, like myself) Fat Lards o_o Wouldn't this offend you guys!

I thought so.

Advice?

Oh, and a shout-out for Light: I hate that your responsible for killing my favorite characters, but I still think you're a cool character and all (probably the best evil genius EVA!). You seem to be getting a lot of hate. lol

And Matt: Dude, I love ya to death, but how the #!*% did you get so popular? O_o ? 

_You get like only 2 minutes of screen time! I'd give an arm if you, Mello, and L stayed alive longer! _

_(or preferably not die at all) At least Near stays alive through it all... =P_

**Misa: You should go for it! Especially if others say he likes you! Just take a chance!**

**Near: Well atleast get to know him better so you can see if he really likes you. **

**All: Uh, yeah!**

**Mello: (Even though this may offend you) You should have your friend look at you and show her that compared to you, she's skinny and should stop with this absurd 'I think I'm fat' thing. (Again, no offense)**

**Light: Thank you! There's still some decent fangirls out there!**

**Matt: I guess it's _because _of that little screen time. I mean look at Bakura and Marik from Yu-Gi-Oh and Bankotsu from Inuyasha! They got little screen time, yet they are still some beloved characters. Next.**

* * *

_sadari _**asks:**

_•.•...I saw this random vid on Youtube...can the both of you, L and Beyond,  
watch it? What can you say about Naomi there?_

Youtube: _Beyond Birthday x L x Naomi -Sugar Cube_ __

just remove the spaces...

sadari~

**Beyond: Um...wow. She looks hard core with a red shadow! **

**L: To me, she seems kinda wimpy yet also menacing at the same time. Next.**

* * *

_Ryukisu _**asks:**

_Okay thanks..._

Now, Where can I draw all of you people? Answer and you shall receive 40 million dollars except obviously Raito! Oh and before I forget, there is an author in this website that rocks but has stopped writing, how do I convince that person to do otherwise?

bai bai

**All: *starts babbling all at once***

Hold it! Only one. Um...Matt, you answer.

**All except Matt: Awww...**

**Matt: There are probably some tutorials on youtube that you can look up. Or maybe they have some tutorials on deviantart? **

Congratulations Matt! You are a 40 millionaire! Minus those game expenses, parties, tournaments, and "special connections" you have; that leaves you with $20. Enjoy

**Matt: *chibi tears***

**L: Sending an incouraging message to them asking why they stopped could possibly help. Maybe their just taking a break? Next.**

* * *

_ZetsubouAi _**asks:**

_Hi guys(and girls)!*teary eyes* Aww, thanks. You're all so nice :'3 To begin with, I bring presents :)_

For L, I bringeth you a magical strawberry that...hm...will never actually disappear? 

_Like, it'll be forever lasting? :3_

For Light, I bring you a copy of High School Musical(I despise the movie with a passion, but my Bestie insists that you look like zac efron(he doesn't deserve to be capitalized). And I still go 'What the heck' everytime. BTW)

For Near,...I bring you a cardboard box. Use your imagination~!*does the rainbow thing* 

_If you did not get this, you need to watch Spongebob. X3_

For Misa, (I'm so glad you liked my poem) I brought you a whole summer's wardrobe of Gothic Lolita. ^v^

For Ryuk, a brought you an apple. :P Cuz you were so helpful.

As for Matt...let's see...a time machine. Use it however you think it should be used. ;)

Anyway, as for Mello's question about L.L., I don't think so. It was about three in the morning, so I was kinda tired. I might, I might not. I'm just kinda neutral about her, I guess.

Oh, and Matt, I drew a picture of you~ :3 It was that really cool picture of you from the side talking to Mello in volume 10 on page 78(?) Because you're special. :)

Ahem, as for L...Are catch phrases stupid? Me and my three other friends have them. The one who started it was 'sha-boom!' (and she does a cool hoodie-flip thing when she says it), L.L.'s is 'sha-doom', my TBSABFBF's is 'sha-pow', and mine is 'sha-goom'...mine sucks...stupid mario reference...x_x

Oh, and Light-Elfen Lied was awesome! Not /that/ gruesome...kinda...Oh, and I tried to get my friends to say OMK...it didn't work :'( Oh, here's Light's question: Which pairing is the best/worst in your opinion? Light/Mikami, Light/L, or Light/Matsuda? o.o The world needs to know.

For Misa-Misa...do you like rainbows? Or pink? Or hearts? I dunno, it just seems that your personality would suggest you would, but your attire doesn't...

As for Near(you rock, buddy): I'm glad that you thought I portrayed you accurately. 

_My question for you is, have you ever stepped on a nail? I have, and it hurt. Bad. It actually went through my foot...and it was kinda bloody...and rusty...I was limping for about 3 days after that (by the way, Light, you know I luv ya', but I have to mess with you with my blooody-preferences...XP)._

As for BB...thanks to you, my favorite words are now Beyond, Note, and Justice...what are your favorite wordss? o.o

Well, that's about it-you're all awesome, don't let anybody tell you different. 

_(especially you Light and Near! We care!) Bye-bye for nows :3_

**L: Thank you. That is very kind.**

**Light: Thanks... *would throw movie out window if could* How in the world do I look like Zac Efron!**

**Near: Very appreciated. And yes, I am familiar with that particular episode. When I'm not being forced into answering questions or advice, I enjoy watching SpongeBob in my spare time. **

**Misa: Thank you sooo much! *hugs***

**Ryuk: *nom nom* Got anymore? I'm low...**

**Matt: So I can use it to go back in time and prevent my and Mello's death from happening?**

**Mello: If you don't think there's anything between you two, then I wouldn't fret about it. **

**Matt: Why thank you. I feel special! :D**

**L: Depends on what the catch phrases are. ...Your guy's are okay though.**

**Light: That's an opinion. Aww, atleast you tried. Best: Light/Matsuda since no one on earth would pair me with him anyway. Worst: Light/Mikami *shudders* I'm neutral about Light/L, but don't get any ideas!**

**Misa: Misa loves rainbows, pink, and hearts! But my fashion director usually picks out my outfits, and I find them cute! x3**

**Near: Why thank you Zetsubou. No I haven't, I'm sorry about that. It must have hurt.**

**Light: *gagging noise heard from speaker***

**Near: *twirls hair* I shall be back to your questionnaire right after this. **

**Beyond: My favorite words are Stab, Onslaught, and Pillage. :)**

Bye~ :D

**Ryuk: Review and hopefully Lia won't take too long to respond!**

Hey! T.T

* * *

**You can see photos on my deviantart page from the convention if you want to check it out. It's listed under my homepage. :)**

**I had a long weekend after the convention so VERY sorry for this late post. Hope no one dies because my advice didn't get in on time .;**

**Me without reviews is like an Otaku without anime. The world will end!**

**~Lia**

**P.S. Thanks to all the wonderful reviewers that enjoy this story-thingy! I enjoy portraying all these awesome characters and answering your questions & advice ^^**


	25. Dead muse and Maximum Ride

We need to get Light back! I hate to say this, but it's getting boring without him actually with us_. _*one dramatic escape scene later*

**Light: It's about time! **

You should be happy that I even _decided _to bring you back!

**Light: Then why did you?**

B-because your my enemy and it's no fun if your being tortured and I'm not their to cause it. Plus Misa was driving me crazy!

**Misa: Lightz! *glomps* **

_Scrambled-eggs-at-midnight_ **asks:**

_Hallo!_

First off, I would like to inform Beyond Birthday of the fact that I know a guy who used to be in a band called Strawberry Jam. O_o No kidding.

Mello: Chocolate releases happy hormones. When people are happy, they are more inclined to believe in things that they might otherwise doubt, such as the existance of a food (chocolate) that can solve your problems. And you know who else is said to solve problems? God. So, following that logic, God is actually a chocolate bar.

Okay, now on to my actual plea for advice: I have a terrible case of writer's block right now, and all of my muses have either run away to an island in the Bahamas or given up and jumped off of buildings. Any help?

-Eggy

**All: Hola and welcome.**

**Beyond: A band called Strawberry Jam? Now that's a cool band name! Maybe I should start a band with that name?...**

**Mello: Heh, go figure. No wonder I pretty much worship my chocolate.**

**Near: The best advice I can give is to**** gather material, listen to music, observe everything around you, live your life, and soak up all that life has to offer so you can do what you love—write.**

**Ryuk: Or you could carry around a notebook, so whenever an idea comes to mind, you can write it down. Carrying around a death note could work too.**

**Matt: Even though you may not like an idea, go ahead and write it down so you can tweak it or completely alter it. But atleast you'll have an idea to go off of. Next!**

* * *

_L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl._ **asks:**

_Beyond:_

No problem!

1:Try and survive a day with your victims' ghosts! XDD I DARE YOU!

Mello:

1:Are you and Switzerland related? You both have an obsession with chocolate and have an annoying rival. 

_(No offense, Near & Austria!)_

All:

1: I can say Hello in about 11 languages. Hello, Privet, Sveiki, Hola, Guten Tag, Bonjour, Ni hao, Konnichiwa, Sa-wat-dii Kha, Shalom, Ciao/Bongourno!

2: I know at least one word in about 14 languages. Russian, Lithuanian, Thai, Polish, Japanese, French, Hebrew, Spanish, Italian, Chinese, English, Latin and German. I cannot remember the 14th. XD

**Beyond: Eh, I don't think that would go over well...**

**Mello: Could be. We even have pretty much the same hair cut.**

**All: How fluent you are! You must be quite smart to atleast know one word in 13/14 languages! Next!**

* * *

_TheOriginalGloryGirl_ **asks:**

_Hey death note characters! I am Glory Girl. And this is Angel._

Angel: Hi, I'm a seven year old kidnapped birdkid from the Maximum Ride book series. 

_I can read and control minds amongst other things._

_Me: I don't know if any of you have read it so I feel the need to explain._

Anywho... I have plenty to say :D

Angel: At least one of them is going to suffer...

Me: I hope its Light :D

In MR (I'm a bit of a fangirl...) theres a character named Fang. He could so pass as a mini L! He always has a straight face, he barely talks, he has longish black messy hair. He and L are really similar.

Angel: the Flock doesn't get many sweets though, and Fang has olive skin. and he's not an insomniac.

Me: Minor details. Why are you all so mean to Matsuda :( He's so cute have you seen his chibi? It ties L for second in cute chibis.

Near's chibi is the cutest :D

Matsu is awesome though -huggles matsu-

Angel: Hey Kira, and I mean you Light, I can take over your mind and make you suffer in pits of despair.

Me: Believe it or not that was only slightly OOC. I hate you Light. 

_I give you a punch in the face and I whack you with a herring._

Angel: Near you are so cute. Your not as cute as me -cute face that even Near can't beat-. But your still cute!

Me: Mello. To be honest, I don't like you.

Angel: That was rather blunt.

Me: Your not nice, you dress like a poser, your very mean, you seriously look like a girl though. And you can't come and hurt me cuz I gots the mind contoller.

Angel: Thats me :P

Me: hmmm is this too long of a review?

Angel: meh.

Me: Matt, I like you :) Except for the whole smoking thing. You do realize your slowly killing yourself.

L, You didn't desearve to die :( -whacks Light with a herring- .

Angel: Hi L, I have wings and I can fly.

Me: Even though thats the truth, he wont believe it.

Angel: I know.

Me: BB, I dont particularly know anything about you. Only that your a psychotic killer who likes jam.

Hey Light, spell Yagami backwards.

Misa... I am unable to relate.

Angel: Her hair is cute.

Me: I think all of you should try reading Maximum Ride, at least just the first book. 

_Yes I am a MR fangirl. But I do not SQUEEE. Not even at fax._

Angel: -sigh-

Me: Sorry that was so long... BYE!  


**All: Nice to meet you Glory girl and Angel!**

**L: Really now? I should like to meet him someday.**

**Light: I wouldn't say we're "mean" to him. He's just like our jester, you could say.**

**Matt: That's kinda harsh Light. **

**Light: Wait now- *recieves punch and get's whacked with herring* Aw come on. My bruises from last time I got punched aren't even healed yet!**

**Near: Thank you; but you can have the title of 'cute'. It seems to make people put me in the 'sheep' category. Which I do not like. **

**Mello: I won't get mad, for one, because Poizun will take away my chocolate, and because everyone has their own opinions. I've never realized I dressed like a poser... O_o**

**Matt: Thanks! **

**L: I would believe you, Angel, if you had some proof of this. Could you show me your wings?**

**Beyond: Eh, that's pretty much all you need to know, actually.**

**Light: *sarcastic* Ha ha ha, yes I am very aware what my last name spells, thank you.**

**Misa: Thank you!**

I, for one, love the book! :)

**All: Will do! Thanks for the review~ Next!**

* * *

_BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare_ **asks:**

_*hugs and kisses BB* Sorry, I wasn't trying to get you in trouble =(_

Anyways, I'm always asking y'all questions so why don't ask me some questions? It'll be a nice change of pace.

Matt: Of course! This means I'll have to practice even harder at Japanese!

Mello: Here you go, truffles just like I promised.

L: You aren't? But don't people pay you for solving the cases? BTW You're my favorite character too, just thought I'd say that since I've paying more attention to B lately I didn't want you to feel bad.

ALL: This is a moral question. Ok my cousin's husband just died (he had liver disease due to his heavy drinking which is why they were separated) and she didn't go see him when he was in the hospital on his deathbed and she didn't go to his funeral. Now because he's a veteran, spouses are entitled to benefits for the rest of their lives. Every since he died she has talked about nothing but getting the money from his death, in fact she didn't even know where the funeral was held at! She said she didn't go because it wasn't her problem.

Do you think this is right? Should she have gone to his funeral even though they were separated? 

_I honestly think she's been waiting on that man to die._

**Beyond: It's alright.**

**All: Sounds nice to switch it around for once!**

**Matt: Okay! Probably, or you won't be able to understand anything they say in the game. ^^; So, which gaming system is your favorite?**

**Mello: Thank you muchly! Uh..do you like motorcycles? I just bought another one and now have an extra.**

**L: Well yes, but Watari manages all the financial staples while I focus on the cases. Why thank you. That is very kind. Hmm, what is your favorite sugary treat?**

**Near: Truthly, no; that is not right. If she ever cared for the man, she should have gone to the funeral. My question is, out of interest, are you fluent in any languages? Like Spanish, French, etc.?**

**Misa: That is very cruel thing! If that was me in that situation, I would be there! Do you have any intrests in yaoi? :D**

**Light: Even though that sounds like something I would do, atleast I'd go to the funeral. I'm not really sure what to ask you since we aren't too fond of eachother. So I see you like Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler. Who's you're favorite character?**

**Ryuk: Humans can be so greedy. Much like us shinigami. Now, what's your favorite type of apple?**

**Beyond: You already know my answer, so I'm not going to bother. Have you ever commited a crime or done something illegal? Next.**

* * *

_ZetsubouAi_ **asks:**

_Yay~! Gosh, I always love updates :3 *high-fives Poizun* No, fortunatly, nobody died during the wait of the update~...I hope...Anyway *gives you a 2-liter of Mt. Dew* Back to the DN crew...:D_

~~ More Questions + Responses ~~

To begin with, I'm sorry I forgot to give Mello and BB presents in my last review T.T

For Mello, you get to star in one of those chocolate commercials for Bliss(?) =P 

_Because we all know you'd be much more suited for that role anyway ^_^_

As for Beyond, I brought you a special knife~ (look up Osaka and the knife scene from Azumanga Daioh. 

_THAT is why you and she are made of awesome)._

Okay, as for Light,...Now that I think about it, you do kinda look like him(don't hurt meh! D:), just a little. 

_I dunno, pick up any Death Note volume and look to the very back. There should be a picture of you, Naruto, Ichigo, and that kid from One Piece. That's the picture she says looks like you...kinda. But why didn't you throw tha movie out the window? I know I would have. Or are you just to nice? :) _

_*gives you the most justice-y potato chips ever to make up for it*_

Okay, and for Beyond...congratulations, you are officially my current anime-character fave~ :3 And I just love those three words you chose. Very epic indeed. Now, let us see...Oh, you see a little girl walking down the street singing a song or something. A car is coming dangerously close to her. Do you A) push her out of the way. B) Push her into the car's way. C) Do nothing and walk away. Or D) You're the one driving the car =D

By the way, I want you to go to youtube and type in BB's theme. It sould be the one with just you and L in the picture. Personally, it kinda sounds like a breaking down carousel and it makes me think of a bunch of kids saying 'Mommy! It's going too fast!' while you're in the background about to throw knives or something o.o 

_It gave me a lot of inspiration to write this new fanfic..._

Oh, and Light, so you really think no one on earth would write a Light/Matsuda? Well I must be a shinigami because I now feel really tempted to write that(no offense or nothing; I just like to prove people wrong) ^_^

Mmkay...Misa, have you ever seen Hamtaro? I used to love that show :3 And I now have a burning hatred for the people of cartoon Network for taking it down...along with all the other good shows for that matter...grr...say, Light, you wouldn't happen to have a, oh, I don't know, a way to /delete/ those idiots, would you? *looks hopefully at Death Note*

Oh, Near, so you really like my Dear Near story? That's awesome!...Can I give you a hug? :3

Hm...L, can I see your best Light impression? :P

Hm...Light, can I see your best L impression? :3

Ryuk, why are shinigami so amazingly awesome? :D

Mmkay, this one's for Matt, Mello, and Near. Pick a name from out of the hat, and name one good thing about him. Idk, I just think y'all need to get along a little better...or not. *holds out magical hat* Oh, look~

Near, you got... Mello.

Mello, you got... Near.

Matt, you got...oh...there's no names left. Well, you just get a magical video game system that transports you to any anime you want =D Oh, take the Death Note cast to Ouran High School Host Club~ That would rock =] Or, just any anime...your gift :3

Well, that's all for now...oh, lookie, it's three in the AM. ^v^ Okay, so, until next time, bye-b- 

_*falls asleep on keyboard*_

So do I! *high fives back* And I would hope not o.o Speaking of which, you better update girlie, even though you just updated not to long ago... =p

**Mello: Cool. Next stop Hollywood! **

**Beyond: Thank you. I will treasure it always.**

**Light: *looks at back of manga* I refuse to comment. And I didn't throw it out cause Poizun wants to sell it on e-bay. Might as well get some money for it? *snacks on chips***

**Beyond: Thanks and thanks. Some people just don't understand how awesome I am. I would have to say B or D if I had a cloning machine. I do agree; I would do such a thing!**

**Light: You wouldn't dare... *glares***

**Misa: Sure I have! I used to watch it as a kid! Oh, Lighty-cake, could you pleeaaseee do something about those horrid people that upset me and Su-chan?**

**Light: Eh, why should I? I would have no personal gain.**

Light, do it or so help me, I'll show the entire world your "High School Musical" incident!

**Light: You actually scare me for once. Fine. *pulls out handy-dandy notebook* There, happy?**

**Near: ...Sure *hugs* **

**L: No promises that it's good; 'I am Kira. Killer of the innocent! Player of Little Big Planet! Watcher of The Nanny! Creator of the new world! Eater of potato chips!'. **

**Light: I don't sound like that! **

**L: Notice how he didn't deny any of the things I said. Isn't that right Kira?**

**Light: Shut up, you have no proof. Okay; 'I am L. I'm a descendant of pandas! Chocolate cake is FTW! I sew in my spare time! And I'm going to die because of a high risk of diabetes!'. **

**L: That was horrendous. Hardly any of that is true. And since when do I say "FTW"?**

**Ryuk: Because we were made that way.**

**Near: I gather that you only put Mello and my name in there on purpose. I do admire Mello's will to leap before looking. I've always admired that about him.**

**Mello: *mumbles* I guess I like Near's composed demeanor. It is a flaw of mine, but It suits him well.**

Aww! So do you guys feel like you accomplished something?

**Near: I would like to say yes, but probably not. **

**Mello: Not really.**

Atleast you tried. =_=;

**Matt: I love how advanced technology is now these days! I might... or I could send us into Devil May Cry. Or both! ;)**

**All: Until next time Zetsu, ciao! Next.**

* * *

_Italiangurlinamessedupworld _**asks:**

_Pffffffffffffffffffft! Hahahaha!_

"Me without reviews is like an Otaku without anime. The world will end!"

Best one yet.

You POSITIVE you can't give me his number Light? Oh well... tell him that R2 made me cry.

I passed this time! I CAN NOW DRIVE! Oh yes, be afraid... be VERY afraid. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And of course other Griffins flew threw the dimentional rip! Would you like one of the opposite gender so Griffins can fly around the world bringing about world peace in the form of love, happiness, and death?

I think the sun boiled my brain... in that case, what's the best treatment for a sunburn?

AND HOW IS PRINCESS PRINCESS DISTURBING? :(

Near, Misa, you are both loved 30 percent more. Because you at least think it's INTERESTING! Mwahahahaha...haha...ha. Ho :)

Preseeeeeents!

L: I won't put any strange ingredients in it. Ah, so their not killing each other, JUST MAKE SURE THERE'S CLOTHES FOR THEM WHEN THEY CHANGE BACK! Like I said, you can just FedEx them back if you want. You get a Sugar Castle, I'll give you some furniture next time.

Near: You get... a gigantic playhouse. With a code only known to you so no clowns or prostitutes can get in it. And Mello... it's indestructable, don't even try...

Light: Yes... let us. I can't give you scissors... but I do have this VERY HANDY sword you can have... and here's the arm, you know for the Griffin, I'll tell you if Harry screams or not... _OH FNODEGBAUOG9EHAQN A TWILIGHT RIP OPENED!_

Do you think the Griffin will eat Edward Cullens foot? Because I closed that one before anything could eat me...

Beyond: I LOVE THAT VIDEO! Except when I watch it during the part with the saw and their cutting open the mouth at the edges, my cheeks feel very strange... A Beretta 9 mm and a nuclear plant...

I'm sorry you had to go through that Authoress...you get 124 2 liters of Mountain Dew, and 134 other food and drink items of your choosing.

Misa: REALLY? Interesting. You get... 28 new outfits. Enjoy!

Mello: It would have been funny though... oh well. Today you get... A new hideout! 

_Next time maybe I'll give you explosives._

Matt: I hope you like the games you bought... you get the new Kingdom Hearts games. 

_Who's your favorite gaming character of all time?_

Ryuk: Pffft, you wouldn't want to come to my house than, we have 5 cats. There's candy apples, will you go? You get a fort made out of apples.

Sorry this review is so late!

I WILL go someday! I swear on my ninja way! Imagine me with ninja weapons... fuuuuuun.

Keep writing, Italy

Thanks! I try~ =)

**Light: Extremely! We made a deal that if we don't give out eachother's numbers, then we won't try to kill eachother. I'll be sure to pass on the message, though.**

**All: That worries us...**

**Light: Sure! I recommend using aloe vera juice. You must keep the spot moist.**

**Mello: You're too old fashioned Light. Use Noxzema. It really freaking works!**

**Light: It's disturbing in my eyes. Just look at it as an opinion.**

**Near and Misa: Thank you.!**

**L: That is already taken care of. And they ate almost all of my fruits, so I'll go ahead and send them back now. Furniture, I assume, that is going to be made of sugar?**

**Near: I really appreciate that. Atleast now I have a place that no one can break into. **

**Light: A sword, nice! Here goes *gives arm to griffin* Edward Cullen's foot, huh? I don't know, the sparkly-ness might mess with his stomach...**

**Beyond: Really? I feel all tingly inside during that part! **

It wasn't so bad at first, but then it got worse and worse... The horror. Yay! Now I'm all better :3

**Misa: Really! Omg, thank you Italy!**

**Mello: Yes, it would have. Finally! You know how long I've been trying to find a new one?**

**Matt: Oh, I do! Thanks, this saves me a trip to GameStop! I have to say either good old Link or Kratos.**

**Ryuk: You convinced me. But keep those cats away from me!**

It's okay. You must! I would be scared of you with ninja weapons. xD Next!

_

* * *

_

_Undercover92 _**asks:**

_This is Undercover92 speaking from a height of 5000 feet. I have Misa Amane with me and if you people don't surrender Light Yagami to me, I swear I will push her off the cliff. When Light will be surrendered to me, I will push the murderous duo off the cliff. Which option is better?_

L: I am sincerely sorry for taking you to the toruture cell of mine so as to make up for it, how about two tickets to a Hershey's factory for 24 hours. The choice is up to you to take which person.

_Matt: What would you do if some one forced you to pat Mello on the head and say "Beautiful young lad, I cut thee down"?_

Ryuk: Can a shinigami fly around the world without plummeting midway?

Yours in fanship,

Undercover92 

Holy shiz. I didn't even see her take Misa! You're a ninja... o.o

**Light: You seriously aren't going to give me to her after I just escaped are you?**

Pfft, duh I would! *hands over Light* Quick Near, get the popcorn!

**L: You seem forthright. I shall forgive you. Will you accompany me and Mello to Hershey's factory?**

**Matt: Um, awkward. I would question why I was _"cutting thee down"_?**

**Ryuk: Since we aren't, in any way, human, we can fly for days. I would test it for you but I'm not motivated enough.**

Are you going to push them off now! :D

_

* * *

_

**Though this advice column thingy is for fun and is humorous at times, diabetes is no laughing matter. An estimation of 180,000 people die each year directly from diabetes. You know what else isn't funny? The way Christopher Nolan ended "Inception"! LIKE OMG *!#$%**

**Anyshoe, I apologize for the late update blah blah. You guys probably get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, don't you?**

**Me without reviews is like Light without The Nanny. The world will end! **

**~Lia **


	26. Mellodrama and violence

*Looks up at mountain* I guess Light will be sending his advice by letter. Wonder why Light keeps getting into these predicaments?

**Mello: Beats me. Can I have some chocolate?**

What?

**Mello: Some chocolate. You've been depriving me of some for about 14 chapters! I'm about to kill over!**

Oh fine. *tosses chocolate* You're so mellodramatic.

**Mello: *nibbling on chocolate* It's melodramatic.**

That's what I said!

**Mello: Sure, whatever. Can we get on with the advice? These poor people have been waiting for about a month.**

LIES! And since when do you care?

**Mello: The sooner we start, the sooner I can leave. Now move it! **

_MizukiYumeko _**asks:**

_Hey! ^_^ Sorry I haven't said anything in several chapters! I've been too busy with deviART. =D _

_Matt: Favorite Game Boy Color game and favorite Pokemon? _

_Mello: Worst thing you've ever been accused (falsely) of? _

_Light: Welcome back! *looks* Oh wait, you and Misa are stuck on that cliff...Huh. Sucks to be you. _

_*sends broken parachute*_

_*sends telegram: do you write like -points to lind l tailor scene- that all the time STOP _

_Misa: *continued on telegram* do you have a favorite american clothing line STOP _

_Near: Most interesting thing you've seen Mello do? _

_Beyond: Lamest (technical term) weapon you've tried to use? _

_Ryuk: Favorite apple? And technically aren't all Shinigami major stalkers? Just sayin.. _

_Everyone: Ever had cream soda with whipped cream in it? It's really good :) _

_Author: Have more mountain dew. ^_^_

Eh, you and me both girly =)

**Matt: That would have to be** **The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons, no doubt. Hmm, either Garchomp or Rayquaza. What about you?**

**Mello: Well, I was once accused of blowing up all of the dolls heads in the orphanage. Though I was sneaking in the kitchen around that time, so I couldn't have been me!**

**Light: *sends message* I was in a hurry okay? ...You know this parachute is broken, right?**

**Misa: *also in message* I'm not sure about clothing line, but I do love Collette Dinnigan's work! She always designs the cutest dresses!**

**Near: Hmm...I have caught him applying eye-liner, in the bathroom, before. Would that count?**

**Mello: That was ONCE! Don't make me strangle you!**

**Near: Oh, I'm so scared. *twirls hair* **

**Beyond: A bent up plastic spoon. It wasn't very effective, because it was plastic and broken, and stuff...**

**Ryuk: Red delicious! Though I also do enjoy Gala apples too. Sorta, except the people _know_ they're being stalked. **

**All: No. We should get some after this!**

L's paying! Yay! Thank you ^^ Next!

_**

* * *

**_

_BeyondLawlietBeyondCompare_ **asks:**

_Light: Well, I wouldn't say that I don't like you anymore. I like you better than I used to. I mean I was all on your side in the story till you went bat*** crazy and became an a-hole. But now I actually think you're kinda cool...almost badass. My favorite character is Ciel, I really like his personality and how he's only 12-13 but he's so mature and capable of making adult decisions. _

_Matt: Nintendo DS. I've never been a fan of XBOX or PlayStation because they aren't portable. With my DS I can take it to work, to school, and when my mom drags me to church as well. _

_Mello: Yes, I do like motorcycles. However, I'd be very afraid of riding on one. _

_L: Check this, my dad makes this cheesecake that's like the size of a large pizza with a chocolate shell on top of the cheesecake part and topped again with pecans in caramel. Its awesome and easily my favorite dessert. _

_Near: Well I do very well with written Spanish, but spoken Spanish is very hard for me. I wouldn't say I'm fluent but I think I'm somewhat decent. _

_Misa: Yes, I love yaoi! But I prefer original yaois as opposed to fan parings but that being said I'm still guilty of reading and enjoying L x Light and BB x L, although my favorite DN pairing is L x Misa *HINT HINT* *coughSTARTDATINGLcough* _

_Ryuk: Granny Smith Apples. They're the best in my opinion and the only apples I'd be willing to eat, plus they lend themselves well to desserts because they won't break down during cooking. _

_Beyond: Hmm...I don't recall doing anything illegal but my dad is an ex-con, and he went to jail for what you did, only it was one person. _

_Thanks for asking me questions, you can ask me some more ok? _

_All: Other than yourself, who is your favorite DN character? Oh and I want y'all to guess where I'm from. Also this is Senri, he's gonna start helping me do all my reviews. He's a + Anima =D. Senri, this is Matt, Mello, Near, L, Misa, Light, Ryuk, and BB. _

_Senri:...?...Hi... _

_Good show!_

**Light: *sends letter* Well I'm glad that we don't completely hate eachother. This may leave some space for friendship.**

Does he really mean that?

**Light: *letter continues* No. Ciel's cool, but, I personally, like Sebastian for obvious reasons. And I do like how Matsuda toughened up towards the end.**

**Matt: Hmm good point. Though the graphics on the PSP are arguably better than that on DS, it's still a good system. I guess I liked Near's strategies and way of thinking.**

**Mello: Traitor! You don't have to ride it, just...I don't know. I don't need it anymore, since I'm getting a new one, so would you like to have it? Lidner, she's a better friend than Matt...**

**L: Sounds delectable. May I try some? And yes, that does count as a question. I suppose that I do like Matt. (No yaoi)**

**Mello: What! But he doesn't do anything!**

**L: Exactly, he isn't annoying.**

**Near: I see. I'm more fluent when it is spoken, rather than written. Though you may dread this question, what is your favorite school subject? I do admire L, of course.**

****

**Misa: *also in letter* Fan pairing's are sooo much fun though! I might consider going out with L if he got a make-over first. Remy is my favorite! **

**L: Well I feel highly insulted.**

**Ryuk: That is true, but they're too sour for my taste. Though Light was interesting, I liked Mikami better.**

**Beyond: Interesting, I would like to meet him someday. Would he be interested in talking? Higuchi is one of my favorites! He just, literally, snaps!**

**All: Guess where you are from in the states? Hello Senri! =] Next!**

* * *

_Eggy_ **says:**

_FF dot N is being mean and won't let me log in. :( But thanks for the advice!_

**All: Very sorry! But hope you'll be back to ask advice and stuff later. Next! **

**_

* * *

_**

_LJbloodangel_** asks: **

_hey hey LJ here look I'm tired and cold cause one, I got back from the pool two, I made a bet with my sister saying who ever stayed up longest gets 50 dollars guess who won: ME _

_Any way I have a problem with being overly violent and I wanna hear what you guys have to say about it b szdzdzdzdzdzdzdzdzdzdfzsd fdcgmshncvjsdvhnkdcbh jgvzdkhcn v bm _

_(fell asleep on keyboard)_

**All: Hello. Atleast, on the bright side, you won!**

**Beyond: Overly violent, huh. Just pissed off at the world? **

**Ryuk: You could be this way from lack of sleep, food, or just cause, I guess. **

**Matt: She's not cranky, people. *sighs* Generally people connect violence to video games (as if!) or movies. But I like to connect it to reading. Yes, reading is evil and makes you violent. Problem solved. Hope that helps! :P**

**L: Nicely...put, Matt. Sadly so, too much violent video games and movies can effect your behavior. Please don't listen to Matt, by all means. Take a break from video games. Next.**

_**

* * *

**_

_TheOriginalGloryGirl_ **asks: **

_Yay! I affected the name of your chapter! I feel so special XD _

_Angel: Hello everyone! We're back! _

_Me: Now L, about you meeting Fang one day. You could always check out the crossover. _

_Angel: Theres this really good MR/DN crossover That Glory here could rant about for a long time. _

_Me: you say that like its a bad thing. _

_BB, how do you feel about me writing a crossover interaction between you and a murderous sadistic masochist immortal? (Hidan from Naruto) _

_Angel: She's been reading a lot of Naruto fanfiction _

_Me: Light dont make me whack you with another herring. _

_Angel: And your gonna whack him anyways right? _

_Me: Yup! -whacks light with herring- BEWARE THE HERRING _

_Angel: Did you know Light's even worse in the live action? _

_Me: In the live action movie he KILLS his own GIRLFRIEND. -whacks Raito with two herrings- _

_Angel: Near, I honestly dont get the sheep thing. Sure your albino but your not fluffy. _

_Me: You cant be a proper sheep unless you are fluffy. _

_What is the cure for lack of motivation? _

_Angel: I'm not sure whether I should show you my wings or not. _

_Me: Just show him, _

_Angel: Fine but if he gets a heart attack Its Light's faults. -unfolds her pure white wings- There, happy? _

_Me: Im exuberant. And surprised Lil' Raito never legally changed his last name. _

_BB, I know who the hell you are now! Just felt like letting you know. _

_Angel: Shouldn't we ask a question? _

_Me: Oh yeah! _

_Angel: well..? _

_Me: I cant think of anything... -Angel sweatdrops- Oh well maybe next time. BYE!_

**L: Sounds interesting. What is this crossover called?**

**Beyond: I personally don't have a problem with it! As long as I heard you correctly, and you said 'murderous' and 'sadistic'.**

**Light: *sends letter while getting hit with a herring, again and again* Will you stop with the herring!**

But, I like the herring. *borrows from Glory Girl* Herring pwned! *somehow whacks Light*

**Near: *twirls hair* I know, but the fanbase insists on the name. Why, I have no idea.**

**All: Mountain Dew and pocky?**

Keeps me goin...

**L: *eyes widen slightly* Fascinating. And you were born with these, correct?**

**Beyond: Good to hear. Next!**

_**

* * *

**_

_ZetsubouAi_ **asks: **

_Ah, hey people~ _

_Oh hey, Poizun, I just realized something. Your Mt. Dew is the equivalant to my techno music. Awesome how we all get inspiration in different ways, eh? ^^ *tosses bottle o' Mt. Dew your __way* _

_Now, back to our lurvely DN cast...:3 _

_Dude. "Me without reviews is like Light without The Nanny. The world will end!" _

_You just made my day there, y'know. xD Best. One. yet. _

_Light: Well, I'm glad you were honest ^^; By the way, you know I luvs you, right? I always mindlessly tease my favorite characters to the point that they want to write my name in the DN itself. :3 You rock~ Oh, and might I add, I just about cheered when you ate the BBQ chips instead of the regular. Ok, not really. But, c'mon; BBQ chips are awesome! *throws bag of BBQ chips Light's way* And I your impression of L amused me. __Not sure where you got the sewing bit, though :P _

_L: Have you ever noticed that it's, like, physically impossible to hate- no, /dislike/ you(unless you're Light{maybe Misa})? Honestly, I'm not sure if it's because you're that unique of a character, or because they just hate Light that much(don't get me wrong; you're cool, L. Just annoys me when fangirls scream and call you their husband o.e). For me, it's the former. And chocolate cake is totally 'FTW'! 'Watcher of The Nanny'. xD L, you kill me. _

_B: Mmkay, oddly enough, a day after I asked you that car question, I nearly got hit by one. Twice. Okay, first time was kinda my fault(I had my mp3 to the max and I was walking from the right side of the street to the left. I didn't hear or see it coming, but this nice person from across the street just so happened to point it out =.= How embarrassing). But, the second time, it was more like two cars were coming(from either direction), and no matter which way I moved, I would get hit. I was just like...Do you /mind/? Oh, the irony xD _

_Misa: Might I sense some yaoi-fangirlness from your part...? Just asking. If so, join the club *high-fives* And thank you for convincing Light to help me. That was nice *hugz* _

_L(again): My feet hurt :( I go walking a couple of times a day, and I wear sandles, but there's tons of unavoidable rocks x_x They hurt. How can you go barefoot for so long? Dx _

_~Story Time~ _

_Mmkay, so just yesterday, I had one of those lollipops(y'know, the ones that are all swirly and rainbow-y, and nearly the size of your face) and I was happily enjoying it(like anybody would) Anyway, once some of the color started to fade, it began to turn white(at the top anyway). A while later, I noticed some red coloring and was like, 'strawberry? Sweet! ^^' It tasted a little odd, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. __A little while /after that/, I noticed that my tongue stung. Owch, y'know? Anyway, I take a nearby CD to look at the reflection, and my tongue was bleeding! I look back at the lollipop closely, and for some ungodly reason, there were sharp marks/points/whatever! Point is, I cut my tongue on a lollipop? How fast can you say...epic fail? I was just like O_O And, anywho, I then licked the back of my hand and preceded to chase my little sister around my house with it. 'Twas fun ^^ But, apparantly, she does not like a bloody hand. o.o I wonder why...Anyway, on a scale of 1 to 10, how epic fail is it to cut your tongue on a lollipop? Meh...But, on the plus side, I realized the metallic taste of blood ain't all that bad. ^^; _

_All(okay, mostly Near. I think he's the most literate out of all of you): Okay, so, for starters, thanks for the hug :D Noow, I really need some advice. Okay, so, my bestie and I do a lot of 'role-playing', you could say. Now, we always have two(stories/fanfictions[?]) out at a time. I guess to keep each other occupied with a story while the other is still replying to the other one. I really don't know. Anyway, it always has to be a pairing story(LxLight, M/M, whatever). Now, in the Matt/Mello we were writing, she decided to make Mello a nekomimi who had an sad past from the lab he was experimented on, blah, blah, blah. And, guess what? At this point, I was sick of writing meaningless love stories(if you can call 'em that). I wanted to write something, with a little more meaning. OMKWTFBBQ!one!one!11! _

_Yeah. So, y'know what I did? I brought B into the story. Who happened to be from the same lab as Mello was. So, with that being said, she decided to being in L(who, apparently, blushes more than even the most girliest girly girl out there). Now, apparently, L's a nekomimi too, blah, blah, blah. So, I decide to have B try to get Mello and L back to the lab. Because, the lab sent B to find L because he was one of the few experimentals to survive, and B and L were each other's 'imprints'(yeah, she actually uses a Twilight word to call the bond), and the 'imprints' are the only ones able to make the other 'imprint' make the ears and tail appear, and retreat them, and is able to have a sense of where his/her imprint is, and blah, blah, blah. But, B is there to take L back to the lab. Okay. But, he's also going against the lab, in the fact that he wants to continue the nekomimi project on his own(Yeah, I decided to make the nekomimi people like night-hunters-able to track others, I guess). Now, I'm perfectly fine with romance- as long as the whole story doesn't revolve sole-y around it and the the only 'climax' is the next time an explixit scene comes. -_- I mean, really. That's boring. Now, I'm sorry if that whole nekomimi/lab thing-a-ma-jig of a plot seemed lame, but it's all I had to work with when: _

_"Mello is a nekomimi" Seriously. I don't know, maybe I'll have B turn around and kill one of the orphans(oh, this takes place when y'all are all still at Wammy's). Oh, but you know what's reeeeally funny(sarcasm)? _

_This message she sent me: _

_"No offense or anything but the Matt/Mello story id kinda making me bored I see where your getting at, but when I first started this story I just wanted it to be something fluffy, and sweet, and this is good but I'm loosing ideas for L and Mello alike.. It just getting kinda hard to think about this when you don't know what to write. I like it yeah but still... you know." _

_-Excuse me, What the heck, much? See, fluff is okay once in a while. Not every single thing you write has to be a super happy, sickeningly sweet wuv story(which, unfortunately, is what *we* do). Oh yeah, and I didn't edit that message. At all. So, I sent her a big reply saying why we should just kil-er, 'replace' the other story(Btw, which was a fwuffy wuv[coughsmutcough]) we were writing instead(she insisted we write a new story(fluffy romance, who would've guessed?) and put this one 'on hold') _

_...Now, with that much said,...Please, please, please how do I tell her that I don't want to write just fluff? I need some sort of plot! Without being a total meanie? I don't want to hurt her. She's my bestie. A very close-minded, clueless uke of a bestie. HELP? _

_Oh...dang...longest review yet. _

_Sorry 'bout that. *gives you all giant, rainbow, swirly lollipops* Oh, and one more question; Light, would you rather glitter or glow in the dark? I have no idea why I'm asking. :P _

_Well, it's six in the morning. I need to go to sleep. And Poizun, update this soon, girlie ;3 _

_~PEACE!_

Huh, I never looked at it like that. Awesome! *chugs Mtn. Dew* And it's true, I find him watching it all the time ;)

**Light: *sends letter* Oh yes, I can feel the love. *somehow gets BBQ chips* Eh, you're not so bad yourself. I just kinda made it up as I went.**

**L: It scares me, just the same. And, I guess, I'm just that unique? I'm glad that I humor you. *smiles***

**Beyond: Wow, are you unlucky or what?**

Beyond! Be nice. She almost got hit by a car. *pats head*

**Misa: *also in letter* Why yes indeed! Misa loooovvveess yaoi! And you're welcome! *air hugs from mountain***

**L: Hmm, I'm not sure really. I guess I'm just so used to being barefoot, that I don't really care what I step on. That's pretty much in the scale of and 8, but do be careful, lollipops are obviously a hazard to you.**

**Near: You're welcome, Zetsu. **

**L, Mello, and Beyond: o.e **

**Near: That is rather...engrossing. What you can tell her, is that your all for the "fluff", but you also want to add more than just liaison (if you do that). Poizun would like to interject:**

I think Near's a psychic. Anyway, I'm also doing a role-play (tho for a complete different anime) with one of my friends, and we have _loads _of action and mishaps, plus romance inbetween. It's still really fun!

**Near: You need to meet halfway with your friend and find a medium. There can be half fluff, what ever you want it to be. You both just need to make an agreement. Sorry if that doesn't help much. **

**All: Thanks!**

**Light: *continued in letter* Glow in the dark. Glittering would make me seem like Edward-the guy I want to strangle-Cullen. **

Here's your, Poizun is a friggin procrastinator, update. XD Next!

_**

* * *

**_

_L.E-chan-Hetalia-DN-fangirl._**_ asks:_ **

_Beyond:_

_Oh? *Brings in the victims* Beyond, meet Believe, Backyard and Quarter. Three victims, meet your murderer. ^_^ _

_Believe:* Mutters curse words* _

_Backyard: Grrr... YOU LITTLE-! *Held back by Believe and Quarter from attacking Beyond* _

_Me: ^^" Eheheheh~ _

_Quarter:*Crosses her arms against chest and glares at Beyond* _

_Mello:_

_I know, right? Thats really freaky/cool. lol. I have a friend that says that since I am Irish/Scottish/English/American/Greek/Egyptian, that the characters had an orgy. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD _

_All:_

_Spasibo~ I also am making my own language called BellumTerrish. ^^ I'm a writer like Believe, so he, you can guess, was very happy that I was starting to write original stories. XD _

_Well, I'm gonna go. And I'll leave the victims with you~ Do Svidaneya~_

**Beyond: *looks scared for once* U-uh. H-h-hey, guys.**

**Mello: Haha, wow.**

**All: Sounds interesting. Keep on writing! :)**

**Beyond: Oh joy...**

**Backyard, Quarter, and Believe: *smirks* *attacks Beyond***

**All except Beyond: And happy very very very very very extremely belated birthday! **

Man we suck =.=

**Light: *yells* Pfft! Speak for yourself. **

_**

* * *

**_

**I don't have anything to say (except I felt like messing with Mello today) That was a rhyme crime. I'm a poet, and I didn't even know it. I can make a rhyme anytime! **

Random voice: Deviantart has warped her mind!

**Oh shut up.**

**Me without reviews is like Mello without a personality. The world will end!**

**~Lia (With school around the corner, my updates will come late. So be patient my reviewers! :3)**


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